Community Chat

[LizzieInSRQ]

I'd get a PO box and my own cell phone if I lived in that situation and be done with all the entanglement

[Rockycoast]

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@Jordan2 wrote:

@Rockycoast this really was a detective, I didn't want to get on his bad side, he could make trouble for me. I told him I didn't have to call him back I was being nice and didn't want something bad to happen to the woman.

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Sorry, @Jordan2 , I still don't believe that was a detective you spoke with.  Just from what you have said, they don't ask for personal info. The police are the ones that always tell you NOT to give out that type of information.  It may have been a bill collector, old boy friend, scammer.   I would want to hear it from the detective's mouth. Standing in front of me, (at the station) that yes, it was him calling you.  Until that happens, nope. Block that number and be safe.

[BlueFinch]

@Jordan2 I would have told him that I would be happy to assist with his questioning, but only after contacting the police dept myself to question his role and identity. 

I'd say: 'Give me YOUR full name and badge number and phone contact. I will promptly call YOU back after I investigate for my own safety.'

I'd add: 'If you are a detective, you will fully understand this. You shouldn't need to be educated, that caller ID and phone numbers can be manipulated.'

Him commenting Police Dept., was on the caller ID? That would be a bit of a red flag for me, until I checked it out. You can never be too careful these days. 

[Jersey Born]

@Jordan2 - From my limited interactions with you on this Forum, I have come to think of you as a very kind person. I hope that you will not let the negative comments here disturb you. 

That said, your new neighbor may not be anything at all like you. She may be unkind and even unfriendly. Insulate yourself.  We have all been through varying levels of H-E-double hockey sticks during this pandemic, and so many of us want so badly to just reach out to others and find some comforting connection to others and compassion. Your new neighbor may not be desirous of having any relationship - either positive or negative-- with you. That is a shame, but you will certainly find a way to cope with her in the days and weeks ahead. To be honest, sometimes it is a blessing if others don't wish to interact with us, and this might be one of those times.

All the best to you in your new abode. Wishing you peace and happiness. 

[Porcelain]

I don't think you're too nice. It's not a flaw at all. Being nice at heart will do you much more good than harm in the long run.

I think it's great to be as nice as possible, but with limits. So if I've been nice and gone out of my way for someone -- and at some point doing that nice thing stops being pleasant and becomes drudgery, I stop doing the nice thing.

In my opinion, not that you asked for it, the moment you started feeling resentment toward the new tenant for not reciprocating was the time to pull back. Maybe the next tenant will be more cooperative.

Also, I'm freely rude to unsolicited callers. They called me. I don't owe them the time of day let alone any info. An interruption of, "I'm sorry but I'm not interested. Have a nice afternoon." is all they are going to get out of me.

Please don't respond to anyone who calls you out of the blue and says they're police or the IRS or a credit card company, @Jordan2. If they're really any of those entitites they would not call you and hector you. They would have your address already and would mail you something official with an official phone number on it that you could check online to verify is a real number. You would be able to call the police department general line and provide the info in the document (like a case number) and they would know what you were calling about.

Fraudsters deliberately portray themselves as intimidating officials and make alarming accusations to try to intimidate rule-following people into talking with them.

I know you already know this. I just think those are two different issues. Doing more than you are appreciated for. Vs engaging in a conversation with a phone scammer.

[shoesnbags]

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@Jordan2 wrote:

I have come to the decision I just might be too nice for my own good. Two reasons why

1. I moved into a new apartment on the second floor of a two family house a new tennant moved in about 3 weeks ago (I moved in 7 weeks ago). I take in the mail sort it and leave it on a table in kind of a little foyer (she doesn't just takes hers). Three packages were delivered one day to this new tennant and left on the porch (they were bulky). I struggled to bring them in and left them at her door (she was home), never got a thank you maybe she thought Amazon delivery brought them in.

2. I get a call on a landline phone comes up the police department, he starts to leave a message so I pick it up. He has the correct number but the woman he was looking for doesn't live here. He asks if this is the number he dialed I say I don't like to give out my number, he says it came up police department, I say how do I know it's not a scam. He is very persistent and I figure he'll keep calling me back so I say yes. He then says I don't believe you (that I don't know this woman) why would she give this number! I say maybe it was written incorrectly so I thought that was the end of it, it wasn't! I get a call today by the same detective leaving me a message about the order of protection I filed. I call back and told him I told you yesterday you had the wrong person, I also told him I didn't appreciate him calling me a liar. I said why isn't she calling YOU, he said good question. He gets my name (which I shouldn't have to give as I am not involved but he is insistent again). He asks how long I have this number, 7 weeks. He says he doesn't know why she would give an old number, he will have to go to her house to investigate, oh and he says I'll probably get more calls on this matter. 

My mother raised me to be kind, helpful, and polite I never thought those would be flaws in my character.

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@Jordan2 

First of all, I do think that you're a nice person, so please don't be offended by the explanation I'm going to try to give.  It's just that sometimes in trying to be "nice" one can overstep and be intrusive instead.

Now, if your new neighbor had introduced herself and asked you to take care of her mail and packages and you agreed to do that, then you would be right to feel offended/disappointed if she didn't thank you for this favor.  

But that didn't happen.  You took it upon yourself to handle her mail and her packages.  That would be considered overstepping by many people.  There's a reason that tampering with mail is a Federal crime - because mail is very personal.  So not only does she not owe you any thanks; she may actually be holding her tongue so as not to say something negative to you. 

In time, a new neighbor may become a friend - or not.  But any friendship has to happen gradually, and if you come on too strong you scare the other person away.  I really think that you need to leave her mail alone and show your good will towards her another way.  Maybe take some cookies or brownies over to her and introduce yourself that way.  And then if she doesn't seem interested in friendship, let it alone.  There are worse things than a neighbor who keeps to herself.

[Kachina624]

@Jordan2    I think your problem is poor communication skills.  Why didn't you knock on your neighbor's door and explain that you brought the packages in.  At the sane time, you could have explained that the mail had to be sorted.  By all means, you should have knocked and introduced yourself as soon as she she moved in.

Along the same vein with the cop, it would have been so simple to have gotten his full name, looked up the police department phone number and immediately called him back.  All suspicion would have been allayed.

You just make simple situations difficult for yourself.

[Group 5 minus 1]

When people say that they are being too nice they want praise. And as another poster said to be liked.

[manny2]

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@Group 5 minus 1 wrote:

When people say that they are being too nice they want praise. And as another poster said to be liked.

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This is an anonymous board @Group 5 minus 1 That debunkes your theory. 

[bonnielu]

Lots of realistic scams out there.  1. Got called by a young man who said he was my grandson.  He  asked me if I knew which grandson. I made up a name.  I knew right away this was not my grandson.  His story was that he was in an accident and he was driving.  Needed me to post bond. I simply asked him his last name.  He repeated MY last name and mispronounced it. I then told him to spend a few nights in jail and post how it felt. I was playing him since his last name  was not even close to my last name.  I have four daughters.  No grandchild shares my last name.  

2. And then there was the Amazon scam with a so called friend asking by email for me to buy a gift in her name because her credit card failed.  I made the mistake of emailing HER back not knowing she was taken over. I simply told her no way.  Next hour or so I got an"Amazon call" saying I had a $900 bill for something I did not order.  They wanted me to give out information on my account SO THEY COULD SAVE ME.  Yeah right, not even the real Amazon phone number. 

3.  Police caledl that I was going to be arrested. They were coming right on over. I did not come to court for court duty.   I told them to "come on down" I would delighted to be arrested.  free room and board.  I really ruffled their feathers. They hung up.  I wanted our local police to know about the scam so I called our local sheriff. A real police officer came over to file a report. I told them not to come since I was not afraid. He came anyway and to my surprise it was a former student who answered the call.  

Much more but these were  some of the exciting highlights of three recent attempts to scam me.