Re: quick question ....

KentuckyWoman · ‎03-13-2010

Every situation is different and only you know what is wrong with the relationship. If it is worth fighting for or should you let go? Only you can answer that. Best of luck to you.

sidsmom · ‎11-25-2011

@manny2 wrote:
@sidsmom wrote:
@Desertdi wrote:
I can't answer that question......but I will say this:

EVERY woman should have her own secret bank account.
Wow.
That is the most depressing thing I’ve read in a while.
If one is slinking around hiding this & that...you don’t need to be in a relationship with anyone.

There is nothing wrong with a secret bank account. Money is independence.

Like I mentioned several times, if one is in a shady relationship,

you have no business being in a relationship.

What is ‘independence’ is just that....independence.

By yourself. Money doesn’t have anything to do with this.

Sooner · ‎03-10-2010

Money is absolutely an issue. Especially if you won't have enough to live on. That's a HUGE issue.

Zhills · ‎11-15-2011

Unfortunately, that is true! You do have to have enough money to live alone!

Stayed in a bad relationship 3 years because of expenses I could not handle on my own and could not rely on him to help me if I left.

During that time I became mentally independent!

NAES1 · ‎09-02-2011

@sidsmom wrote
Like I mentioned several times, if one is in a shady relationship,

you have no business being in a relationship.

What is ‘independence’ is just that....independence.

By yourself. Money doesn’t have anything to do with this.

@sidsmom - I totally agree.

'Money doesn't have anything to with this'

Just being there- AND/ OR a meal ticket, I do UNDERSTAND, though. How horribly sad.

"..... also, Happiness is CONTENTMENT, a positive emotion". "Not to follow trying someone to fill into some own's THEORY for any one person. It is BEST not to apply Collectivities as broad" !

Very well understood, @sidsmom .

chrystaltree · ‎05-10-2010

It depends on the 60 year old woman's financial situation. If has the income to support herself in the lifestyle that she is accustomed to having or wants to continue; then she should leave the marriage if she isn't happy. If she's dependant on her husband and has no income or resources of her own, then the question is irrelevant because she really cannot strike out on her own. Even with a divorce settlement, if she is not married to a very wealthy man, she's not like to get enough spousal support to live as she is accustomed to living. At 60ish, finances comes before everything else.

chrystaltree · ‎05-10-2010

@Sooner

I was wondering when someone, besides myself, was going to give a real and honest answer. A woman in her 60's who has been miserable in a marriage for a long time, cannot just pick up, pack up and create a happy new life for herself. Not unless she is married to wealthy man and can expect a settlement and spousal support that will allow her to live a good life, as she defines it. If that were the case, OP would not be asking the question here. I think she is in a position that a great many women in their 60's and 70's find themselves in. We're all living longer and longer now; healthier too and the prospect of spending another 20 or 25 years in bad marriage is not something they relish. But leaving is only possible if the money is there for them and for middle class women, it just isn't. Especially if the husband is retired or near retirement. Life isn't like a tv soap opera in which the sexy 60 year old divorcee gets the house the cars the retirement accounts and an $$$$ in alimony, that allows her to go on a luxurious world cruise where she falls madly in love with a silver haired millionaire....who has his own teeth. No, that is not the reality of divorce for older women.

pigletsmom · ‎11-21-2011

I would guess lots of men have this same question.

I don't think there's enough to go on really. We have no idea what's been done to work on the relationship or what the problems are.

PamfromCT · ‎05-22-2014

@Lostandscared, What I will say is guided by kindness to you. At this point, no one can tell you what to do. If you are questioning here, it sounds like you are unsure of yourself. That is fine and understandable. May I suggest that you find a qualified and impartial person, be it a counselor or clergy person, to talk to? Someone like this can help you to come to a sound conclusion. If you should decide to separate or divorce, I would also suggest you speak with a family law attorney you can put your trust in. The first appointment is generally free. Do this quietly and keep all this to yourself.

I sincerely wish you well and hope you will find happiness and peace.