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Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 5,544
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

@dogsx3 wrote:

Would you rather stay in an unhappy relationship because you are scared to be on your own financially  and 60ish.....or take a chance to maybe find happiness on your own. 


Have you ever been on your own?

 

I've known women who have returned to work at this age even if part time whether they have a partner or not.

 

Have you worked out a budget and looked at your options for living arrangements?

 

 

Trusted Contributor
Posts: 1,325
Registered: ‎03-08-2014

Many of life's greatest rewards come when you have blind faith, take that chance and are open to what comes verses what you have & is safe.  The unknown can be very scary, so I understand that you are weighing your options, but you potentially have years ahead to possibly be happy or continue being unhappy.  Personally, I would give it a try and see what life has in store.  Whatever you decide, I hope you will find comfort knowing you thought it through and it was your choice.

Snarky responders need not reply. Move along and share your views elsewhere.
Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 7,201
Registered: ‎11-15-2011

Having a separate account is one thing; having a SECRET account is another!

 

Having joint banking accounts does not make a relationship any better or happier! 

 

Either one could empty a joint account at any given time without the other knowing about it!

 

A relationship is a relationship.  Money is money!

Respected Contributor
Posts: 3,152
Registered: ‎02-05-2018

Even if you're in a happy and loving relationship, you never know who might get sick and be unable to work. It's imperative to have a plan if finances change.

Trusted Contributor
Posts: 1,875
Registered: ‎07-03-2014

i definitely agree about having your own bank account. whether secret or not, it’s vital to have one. there’s never anything wrong with watching out for yourself. my sister is married and they’re quite wealthy. it was her husband who made sure she had her own account, and it’s a hefty one. they’re still together. i myself have my own account and my husband is well aware of it. it’s not depressing. i guess it’s just a matter of how you see things. 

Honored Contributor
Posts: 15,598
Registered: ‎09-01-2010

Re: quick question ....

[ Edited ]

I wouldn’t stay in an unhappy relationship, period, and my bank account is no secret.

Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 6,095
Registered: ‎09-02-2011

@dogsx3 wrote:

Would you rather stay in an unhappy relationship because you are scared to be on your own financially  and 60ish.....or take a chance to maybe find happiness on your own. 


                ___________________________

               Quick answer:

 

    I would never 'STAY' in an unhappy relationship, meaning marriage or friendship, if that was what you were referring to,

    ----nor, do I follow people around that are childish, depressing or extremely `` JUST plain uninteresting.

 

  Age should have no bearing in deciding that choice!

    I do not like losers, nor do I want to be around them. 

You deserve every nuance of life, as beautiful and totally peaceful. 

 

  daisy,

    please never be scared to allow yourself as being number one, especially when someone-

     -----male or female is a cheerleader for themselves and expects you to be one of their requirements of 

their power, or thinks he-she has that  ability in a driven option operating over you.

Find contentment and happiness will follow.  

                    NAES  Woman Happy

 @dogsx3 

 

Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 5,102
Registered: ‎05-24-2010

We would have to know more to offer you advise. Sometimes the grass looks greener on the other side of the fence. If you can communicate with your husband i would suggest you do that first. A long as you are not in an abuse relationship I would tell him I am unhappy, and we need to do something,or I am thinking of leaving. Tell him what you need.

 

If that fails, or if you know you are not willing to work on the relationship with him I would get a good attorney, because you do not have to leave with nothing, and you should not leave with nothing.

 

 

Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 5,102
Registered: ‎05-24-2010

@sidsmom wrote:

@Desertdi wrote:

I can't answer that question......but I will say this:

 

EVERY woman should have her own secret bank account.


Wow.

That is the most depressing thing I’ve read in a while.

If one is slinking around hiding this & that...you don’t need to be in a relationship with anyone


 

There is nothing wrong with a secret bank account. Money is independence.

Honored Contributor
Posts: 23,835
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

Re: quick question ....

[ Edited ]

@dogsx3 wrote:

Would you rather stay in an unhappy relationship because you are scared to be on your own financially  and 60ish.....or take a chance to maybe find happiness on your own. 


@dogsx3   I was just going to post something on this subject and saw your thread.  

 

My Husband of almost 40 years  is now retired  going on two years. He has no hobbies...does nothing all day...lays in bed on his phone ....or  he is in a chair watching TV.  That is it.  He will not go for a walk with me....come out help me in the yard....will go to Costco only because he wants a hotdog....that is about the only thing we do together.

 

we argue over simple things....I as him to do something and he always has an excuse. Turns into an argument.  Not a fight....just an argument.  I am a person who gets things done. He never gets anything done unless I ASK him.  He puts things off....I never do. 

 

As to your question....I am not looking for a new relationship.  I really would not want to have to deal with another person.  Happiness is a broad term. I choose to stay in this relationship  just because it is what I know and "comfortable" even if at times difficult.  I just do my thing....he does his.   So Yes I guess I chose to stay in  this relationship.....

At this age....and at this point....it is just easier to stay together.  

 

I would not not be scared to be on my own. I was on my own for many years prior to getting married many years ago. I do need someone to "fix" the computer when something is not working... things like that that😄.