Community Chat

[justmyopinion]

Be hones t with her and gently tell her you don't want or need her advice but that you appreciate her care and concern. 

If she gets angry and you scare her away, then she's not truly a good friend and consider it a blessing in disguise if you lose her.

Also weigh the good and the bad. If she has a lot of wonderful qualities that you will miss, then decide if this is worth ending.

[Suziepeach]

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@MaggieMack wrote:

So, if you are not allowed to politely disagree with her without setting her off, you have a wonderful opportunity to use the Real Life Ignore Button and banish her from your emotional environment. I wish we had that button here. 

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*****

@MaggieMack, oh how I wish we had that ignore button back too!!  I've had two give me more than advice, it's called a new one!  LOL LOL  nothing like a good, old fashion chewing out of a complete stranger.. I'll give them some advice but the mods would ban me forever..

Like I tell people when they give me advice, "How old do you think I am, I can perfectly think for myself and give myself the best advice ever."  Some people think they can speak for everyone as they know everything!!

@LilacTree, I had a friend like that once..  she'd get so mad when I didn't take her advice.. I'd call her a matriarch of sorts and we no longer are in contact. 

[LilacTree]

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@newziesuzie wrote:

@LilacTree It's nice to "see" you posting!

👍

I'm one for "talking out" things so in my

case I'd sit down and just talk about it with her if 

the friendship matters to me.

Maybe she doesn't

even know how she comes across or something

like that.  

Maybe weigh the pros

and cons of why we're friends first but I'd see if 

we could have a meeting of the minds.  Even my

closest friends rub me the wrong way sometimes lol.

My 2 cents lol.

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It's not a situation where we could sit down and talk, as we were just "pen pals" (the old way of saying it was an email relationship).  I don't think I'm going to pursue it, as I don't think I would trust the response, that is, if I received one.

But if this had been a long term friendship, I totally agree with your advice on how to handle it.  Thank you, newziesuzie.

[newziesuzie]

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@LilacTree wrote:

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@newziesuzie wrote:

@LilacTree It's nice to "see" you posting!

👍

I'm one for "talking out" things so in my

case I'd sit down and just talk about it with her if 

the friendship matters to me.

Maybe she doesn't

even know how she comes across or something

like that.  

Maybe weigh the pros

and cons of why we're friends first but I'd see if 

we could have a meeting of the minds.  Even my

closest friends rub me the wrong way sometimes lol.

My 2 cents lol.

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It's not a situation where we could sit down and talk, as we were just "pen pals" (the old way of saying it was an email relationship).  I don't think I'm going to pursue it, as I don't think I would trust the response, that is, if I received one.

But if this had been a long term friendship, I totally agree with your advice on how to handle it.  Thank you, newziesuzie.

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Well if you've decided she knows she's being 

that way so you don't need to try and bring it

to her attention she must be a horrible person

so not good for friendship.

[newziesuzie]

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@justmyopinion wrote:

Be hones t with her and gently tell her you don't want or need her advice but that you appreciate her care and concern. 

If she gets angry and you scare her away, then she's not truly a good friend and consider it a blessing in disguise if you lose her.

Also weigh the good and the bad. If she has a lot of wonderful qualities that you will miss, then decide if this is worth ending.

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I like that reply @justmyopinion.

I guess I like to give friends 

the benefit of the doubt

or a second chance so to say.

jmho though.

😊

[LilacTree]

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@newziesuzie wrote:

Is is this a long time friendship @LilacTree?

That would matter to me as well 

I think.

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I did lose a long time friendship a couple of years ago.  It was over 60 years.  That has had an effect on my life and totally different from the one I am referencing here.

This was a totally email relationship and I did like her until, as I said, I got sick of the constant lecturing.  As I said, she would intersperse her advices between statements of caring and it was confusing to me.

[MaggieMack]

@Suziepeach, I know exactly what you mean about the posters who chew you out, like they have a monopoly on being right on ANY given issue. I don't mind people disagreeing with me, and can even enjoy a sincere back and forth, but some posters think they own the universe of being right. And don't hesitate to let you know. I always wonder if they're married, and if they are, what does the spouse think???

[Plaid Pants2]

Is this "unsolicited advice", or is she telling you the truth, that you may not want to hear?

[RetRN]

I would let her go--let the friendship dissolve. You are much too nice of a lady to put up with that kind of treatment, she is not a friend.

[newziesuzie]

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@LilacTree wrote:

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@newziesuzie wrote:

Is is this a long time friendship @LilacTree?

That would matter to me as well 

I think.

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I did lose a long time friendship a couple of years ago.  It was over 60 years.  That has had an effect on my life and totally different from the one I am referencing here.

This was a totally email relationship and I did like her until, as I said, I got sick of the constant lecturing.  As I said, she would intersperse her advices between statements of caring and it was confusing to me.

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I would think then if it's all in writing that makes

it a better chance of misunderstandings.

I'd still try to let her know and not just cut

her off but that's just me.