Community Chat

[Desertdi]

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@LilacTree wrote:

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@Desertdi wrote:

People are always telling me what to do with my MONEY.    They don't even know if I have any.......................

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They may be trying to find out?

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  @LilacTreeGood point............I didn't think of that

[GingerPeach]

Hi @LilacTree

I think you might ask yourself whether you would feel the loss of this person from your life or whether she adds something positive in other ways.  

I had someone in my life who I thought of as a friend, but who I realized was all too often "correcting" me.  (Do I really need to hear, in casual conversation, that it's incorrect to say "I made chicken last night"?  No, I didn't "make" the chicken itself, I cooked the chicken.  Sheesh!) 

For another example, I told her about a field of study my grown child was pursuing and implementing professionally and my so-called "friend" said that this field set off her "BS" meter (yes, she said that in an email) and she was going to research it on her own.  Can you imagine?

That was finally the one that made me end the relationship since it showed me she only cared about herself and being "right."  

That field of study is biomimicry, and was recently highlighted in Inc. magazine (and, of course, elsewhere).  

[newziesuzie]

@LilacTree It's nice to "see" you posting!

👍

I'm one for "talking out" things so in my

case I'd sit down and just talk about it with her if 

the friendship matters to me.

Maybe she doesn't

even know how she comes across or something

like that.  

Maybe weigh the pros

and cons of why we're friends first but I'd see if 

we could have a meeting of the minds.  Even my

closest friends rub me the wrong way sometimes lol.

My 2 cents lol.

[silkyk]

You could always try this:

[LilacTree]

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@Vivian Florimond wrote:

If you want to preserve the friendship, perhaps you could say, "I appreciate your advice but sometimes it's even better if you just listen." She may not be able to stay quiet but at least you can say you tried in nice way. Telling her off will likely be the end of the relationship but maybe that would be better for you.

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I, in no way, told her off.  I disagreed and said they were my honest feelings.  My disagreement obviously did not go over well.

[LilacTree]

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@silkyk wrote:

You could always try this:

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LOL, that's cute!

[Snowpuppy]

I tried to be The Very Good Friend for many years to my girlfriends. I'd stay up until the wee hours of the morning, listening to their same drama for years. 

One day I realized nothing was going to ever change for any of them. EVER. I was not helping them.

I began to cut ties. Was the best thing I have  ever done for my own mental health.

[kdgn]

I would personally let the friendship go. I don't need that in my life. This 'friend' is just someone who feels they know best and she wants you to toe the line.

If advice is requested, it's still on the person asking as to whether or not to take said advice. Whoever gives the advice has to understand it's freely given and therefore can be freely rejected. No anger should be involved from either side. By that I mean one can privately feel that the advice is the stupidist thing ever but that shouldn't be said aloud.

[MaggieMack]

So, if you are not allowed to politely disagree with her without setting her off, you have a wonderful opportunity to use the Real Life Ignore Button and banish her from your emotional environment. I wish we had that button here. 

[newziesuzie]

Is is this a long time friendship @LilacTree?

That would matter to me as well 

I think.