Unexpected visit - Page 5

LilacTree · ‎03-25-2012

@Mermaid22 wrote:
I’m so happy for you! I was estranged from my father for many years until my grandmother facilitated a way for us to get together. When we saw each other, nothing was brought up from the past. We went on to have a terrific relationship until his death 20 years later. He made it up to me by being a fantastic grandfather to my children. He was not present for much of my childhood. I treasure the time we had together. Very healing !

@Mermaid22

Good for your grandmother!! What a hero she was for all of you.

Formerly Ford1224
We must always take sides. Neutrality helps the oppressor, never the victim. Silence encourages the tormentor, never the tormented. Elie Wiesel 1986

LilacTree · ‎03-25-2012

@qualitygal wrote:
Well that sounded like a really nice visit. What is that they say about "a journey of a thousand miles, begins with one small step." Cheers and here's hoping it turns around for the good of you all.

@qualitygal

Thank you, Quality Gal !!

Formerly Ford1224
We must always take sides. Neutrality helps the oppressor, never the victim. Silence encourages the tormentor, never the tormented. Elie Wiesel 1986

LilacTree · ‎03-25-2012

@cherry wrote:
It's at least better that it's been, there may be cause for hope

@cherry

My daughter who was part of this last night had to leave early this morning with a friend. I can't wait until she gets home to see what she thinks. I'm thinking it went well.

Formerly Ford1224
We must always take sides. Neutrality helps the oppressor, never the victim. Silence encourages the tormentor, never the tormented. Elie Wiesel 1986

lOVETOSHOP · ‎10-26-2010

@LilacTree - how I do love that line "Don't let's ask for the moon...we have the stars" - beautiful! I'm going to have to remember that in life! And the stars sure are beautiful i their own right!

I hope this is the start of a mended relationship for you and your daughter. I've been estranged from my father for many years and feel maybe it's time for me to try to get in contact with him. It's so hard to know where to start, but anywhere is better than nowhere at all!!

It's nice you share this with others so that everyone knows there is always that little glimmer of hope!

deedledeedeedle · ‎05-27-2014

Well, it sounds like everybody kept their expectations low, and that's a good thing. Did you have any deja vu' moments like, "Here is the baby girl I birthed XX years ago sitting across this table from me"? There is no way I would be able to be so composed. I need a kleenex just typing this

dee

Lilysmom · ‎03-09-2010

@LilacTree some times good things just happen. I hope you both have a new beginning. LM

Greeneyedlady21 · ‎01-06-2015

@LilacTree I'm so happy for you. Happy New Year.

"This isn't a Wednesday night, this is New Year's Eve"

LilacTree · ‎03-25-2012

@deedledeedeedle wrote:
Well, it sounds like everybody kept their expectations low, and that's a good thing. Did you have any deja vu' moments like, "Here is the baby girl I birthed XX years ago sitting across this table from me"? There is no way I would be able to be so composed. I need a kleenex just typing this

dee

@deedledeedeedle

I had three hours to compose myself. I had to convince myself that crying and "losing it" would not be the way to go, not with this daughter. I've spent many hours crying about this over the years. I was able to do it, I don't know how.

I walked out there in my night shirt and the first thing she said to me was "get some clothes on, it's cold in here!" That kind of broke the ice. I went back into my bedroom and put on a poncho which took me at least a full five minutes, and pulled on a pair of CudlDuds. I already had socks on. Went back and they were already talking, so I just took to my chair and listened. She did smile at me, and I smiled and shrugged my shoulders back at her.

My Lyme daughter was well into her description of her Lyme Disease which also took most of the drama out of the situation (because I've heard it so many times before. She is very sick, but kinda obsessed with it.) That gave my older daughter and I time to get used to the scenario and keep it calm. She asked a lot of questions and I just listened which did not give me any opportunity to think about the past, which was actually good.

Formerly Ford1224
We must always take sides. Neutrality helps the oppressor, never the victim. Silence encourages the tormentor, never the tormented. Elie Wiesel 1986

LilacTree · ‎03-25-2012

@lOVETOSHOP wrote:
@LilacTree - how I do love that line "Don't let's ask for the moon...we have the stars" - beautiful! I'm going to have to remember that in life! And the stars sure are beautiful i their own right!

I hope this is the start of a mended relationship for you and your daughter. I've been estranged from my father for many years and feel maybe it's time for me to try to get in contact with him. It's so hard to know where to start, but anywhere is better than nowhere at all!!

It's nice you share this with others so that everyone knows there is always that little glimmer of hope!

@lOVETOSHOP

Thanks so much, Codemom.

Formerly Ford1224
We must always take sides. Neutrality helps the oppressor, never the victim. Silence encourages the tormentor, never the tormented. Elie Wiesel 1986

chrystaltree · ‎05-10-2010

That's wonderful. Great way to start 2018. Who know where it will go but if I were in your shoes, the past would be behind me. The who did what and who said what; wouldn't matter at all to me. I would neither expect nor want talk of a reconcilition. I would just hope for what you had, some pleasant comversation. Perhaps a shared meal. I'd just be happy to spend some time with my child after being estranged for so long. It sounds like she feels the same way. I'm happy for both of you.