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Honored Contributor
Posts: 12,997
Registered: ‎03-25-2012

@Teddie wrote:

Oh yay, @LilacTree! This is wonderful news!


@Teddie

Thank you Teddie!!

Formerly Ford1224
We must always take sides. Neutrality helps the oppressor, never the victim. Silence encourages the tormentor, never the tormented. Elie Wiesel 1986
Respected Contributor
Posts: 3,513
Registered: ‎10-27-2010

So happy for you. I don't know the history, of course, and it's not my business, but I cannot imagine such estrangement. The fact that I cannot imagine or understand it is something I must chalk up to good luck. I have had the perfect mother, and we have only grown closer through the years. Yes, luck. 

Honored Contributor
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Registered: ‎03-25-2012

@libbyannE wrote:

So happy for you. I don't know the history, of course, and it's not my business, but I cannot imagine such estrangement. The fact that I cannot imagine or understand it is something I must chalk up to good luck. I have had the perfect mother, and we have only grown closer through the years. Yes, luck. 


@libbyannE

I had the perfect mother too, but she died very young at 49, cancer of course.  So we didn't have enough of her.  She remains in my heart even 50 years later.  My beloved sister left us six and a half years ago at age 72, cancer.  They were both lifetime smokers.  They will always be in my heart together.

 

Formerly Ford1224
We must always take sides. Neutrality helps the oppressor, never the victim. Silence encourages the tormentor, never the tormented. Elie Wiesel 1986
Honored Contributor
Posts: 20,163
Registered: ‎10-04-2010

Well that sounded like a really nice visit.  What is that they say about "a journey of a thousand miles, begins with one small step."  Cheers and here's hoping it turns around for the good of you all.

Super Contributor
Posts: 278
Registered: ‎05-03-2016

I’m so happy for you! I was estranged from my father for many years until my grandmother facilitated a way for us to get together. When we saw each other, nothing was brought up from the past. We went on to have a terrific relationship until his death 20 years later. He made it up to me by being a fantastic grandfather to my children. He was not present for much of my childhood.  I treasure the time we had together. Very healing !

Honored Contributor
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Registered: ‎03-12-2010

@LilacTree  Baby steps are still steps in the right direction :-)

There are many elements: wind, fire, water
But none quite like the element of surprise
Honored Contributor
Posts: 9,725
Registered: ‎10-01-2013

@LilacTree, I think it would be so wonderful if you and your four girls could somehow get together and have a small celebration for your 80th birthday.

That could make for such a beautiful memory.

But, if that doesn't happen you at least got to spend some time with your daughter. 

Honored Contributor
Posts: 12,997
Registered: ‎03-25-2012

@Mermaid22 wrote:

I’m so happy for you! I was estranged from my father for many years until my grandmother facilitated a way for us to get together. When we saw each other, nothing was brought up from the past. We went on to have a terrific relationship until his death 20 years later. He made it up to me by being a fantastic grandfather to my children. He was not present for much of my childhood.  I treasure the time we had together. Very healing !


@Mermaid22

I will never be the one to bring up the past.  I never did with my granddaughter, and won't with my daughter.  But it's unfinished business between my two daughters, so it may have to be faced sooner or later.  I am not going to think about that today (after I just thought about it).

 

One step at a time. 

Formerly Ford1224
We must always take sides. Neutrality helps the oppressor, never the victim. Silence encourages the tormentor, never the tormented. Elie Wiesel 1986
Honored Contributor
Posts: 12,997
Registered: ‎03-25-2012

@RetRN wrote:

@LilacTree, I think it would be so wonderful if you and your four girls could somehow get together and have a small celebration for your 80th birthday.

That could make for such a beautiful memory.

But, if that doesn't happen you at least got to spend some time with your daughter. 


@RetRN

That will not happen and may never.  They are not ready and perhaps never will be.  I am thankful that they both seem to have accepted that I can still love both of them. 

 

But yes, that would be the highlight of my life.

Formerly Ford1224
We must always take sides. Neutrality helps the oppressor, never the victim. Silence encourages the tormentor, never the tormented. Elie Wiesel 1986
Honored Contributor
Posts: 12,997
Registered: ‎03-25-2012

Line from "Now Voyager" with Bette Davis and Paul Henreid"

 

" . . . Don't let's ask for the moon, we have the stars."

 

Different situation, but same acceptance.

Formerly Ford1224
We must always take sides. Neutrality helps the oppressor, never the victim. Silence encourages the tormentor, never the tormented. Elie Wiesel 1986