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Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 6,889
Registered: ‎03-13-2010

Re: Thanksgiving pie-how to be honest with a guest


@TaylorBrown wrote:

I would jut tell her that no one likes that pie.  If she chooses to go ahead and make it, then she would jsut be wasting her time.




 

I don't see the need to be confrontational.  Why risk hurt feelings?  And especially in this case where the dynamics between the OP and her sister seem to be tricky, it's really best for the OP to tread carefully and choose her battles. Telling her that no one likes that pie and she'd just be wasting her time is unneccessarily mean, IMO.  I would never phrase it that way or be so blunt even if it was someone I felt very comfortable with.

 

 

Respected Contributor
Posts: 4,857
Registered: ‎09-12-2010

Re: Thanksgiving pie-how to be honest with a guest

It's hard to believe your sister - a guest - would refuse to bring what you ask, but so be it. Instead of arguing let her bring her pie that no one likes! Make or buy a pumpkin pie, and if you feel like it a pecan pie. Hopefully she'll take her uneaten pie back home with her! On the other hand, you still have time to tell her to forget the pie (because you'll provide them) and instead ask her to bring some crescent rolls or a can of olives since most everyone likes them!

Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 6,889
Registered: ‎03-13-2010

Re: Thanksgiving pie-how to be honest with a guest

[ Edited ]

@chrystaltree wrote:

@drizzellla wrote:

I do not know the "right" answer. BUT here is what I would do. Say nothing. Make the pies that your guests and you will eat. 

 

She brings her pumpkin chiffon pie. And when she is leaving send the uneaten pumpkin chiffon pie home with her.

 

I always send leftover turkey or other items home with my guests. And sending the pie home with her would be a great way to get rid of it. Maybe her eating the entire pie herself will make her tire of it.


 

 

        Wow, that's mean and nasty for no reason.  You have it half right.  Let her bring whatever pie she chooses.  If she WANTS to take her pie home with her, fine but I would not in a million years give it back to her.  If no one is going to eat it, I'd just toss it out in a day or two.  People bring all sorts of things to Thanksgiving dinners and whoever is hosting ends up tossing out half of it out.  


 

I've hosted Thanksgiving and other holidays many times, and have never thrown out half of the food.  I always give people leftovers to take home if they want to - and they always want to.

 

If someone brought something that was basically untouched, I might ask them if they'd like to take it home, and I don't see how that's mean or nasty.  I would never say anything about no one liking it.  It would be more along the lines of, "There was so much food we couldn't all get to everything.  Please take this home if you'd like to."  I don't see anything wrong with that.

 

(And I don't think @drizzellla meant that the pie should be forced on the sister against her will.)

 

Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 6,889
Registered: ‎03-13-2010

Re: Thanksgiving pie-how to be honest with a guest


@Bridgegal wrote:

"over the past few years"  have people eaten her chiffon pie?   If not, does she notice or say anything?   

 

I'm just puzzled why someone insists on bring a food item that no one eats year after year. 

 

In any event, I"d let her bring it and give what's left for her to take home.  

 

Meanwhile, I'l provide  the pecan and choc pie people like.


 

I'm puzzled too.  Maybe she hasn't noticed.  Maybe she has noticed, but doesn't care. Maybe some people take small pieces to be polite, and it's not obvious.

 

But in any case, saying nothing and letting her simply bring the pie isn't going to hurt anyone, so I would simply let it go.  I would provide for my guests what I think they would like, and her pie can be added to the table to be either enjoyed or ignored.  An unwanted pie sitting on a table is not a big deal.

 

Contributor
Posts: 42
Registered: ‎06-28-2011

Re: Thanksgiving pie-how to be honest with a guest

Years ago a neighbor gave me a recipe for an apple pie. This pie had a different kind of crust. We loved it and our friends asked for the recipe. I made it and took it to my in-laws for Thanksgiving. I was so excited because I knew my friends liked it. Then I heard my husbands Aunt say loudly "I don't like that (my) pie. Then my mother-in law agreed. Oh I was so hurt ! Please don't tell her that nobody likes her pie. She spent time making it for the family. She may think that people aren't very hungry after a big meal. It's just not worth hurting someones feelings over food. Let her bring the pie. Thanksgiving is about being together, food is secondary. I'm glad op is thinking about her sisters feelings. 

Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 5,928
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: Thanksgiving pie-how to be honest with a guest

 


@Silver Lining wrote:

@petepetey wrote:

I don't like to be too pushy with people, especially my sister. That does that to me

and I hate it. She is the boss or thinks she is. 

 

In past years I knew she was bringing that pie and I would not make my traditional one. Not this year I'm making it!  

 

I never want to hurt anyones feelings. 


 

So you think your sister is "pushy" and "she is the boss or thinks she is" so she brings a chiffon pie. You could smush it in her face to teach her a lesson or you can bake or buy a pie and call it a day.


Image result for pie in face emoji

"That's a great first pancake."
Lady Gaga, to Tony Bennett
Honored Contributor
Posts: 12,136
Registered: ‎07-09-2010

Re: Thanksgiving pie-how to be honest with a guest

All pies can sit together at the table and be friends.  There have to be fresh whipped cream and ice cream - otherwise someone is goinna get hurt. 

 

This has been happening for the past few years. My homemade chestnust/sausage/sourdough bread sits on the table next to Stove Top Stuffing. My niece likes Stove Top - one of her duties since she was a small child. She will take some of mine and I take some of hers - it is all GOOD. 

Honored Contributor
Posts: 30,922
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

Re: Thanksgiving pie-how to be honest with a guest

Come to think of it I knew a lady who always brought some hard awful cookies in a tin to every Holiday potluck we had.  They weren't good and were always left over and the other desserts were pounced on.  

 

Someone happened to find out that these cookies made the party rounds with her every season and she would always take them away with her, then drag them to the next party.

 

SO, we decided we were going to EAT them this year.  We suffered through and choaked them down.  Empty tin.  She came over to get them at the end of the party and said "SOMEONE ATE THE COOKIES!"Woman Sad   It was really funny because she acted shocked and sort of amazed said sadly "I guess I'll have to make more!"  It was really funny.  

Respected Contributor
Posts: 4,394
Registered: ‎04-19-2010

Re: Thanksgiving pie-how to be honest with a guest

My aunt never wanted to be tagged with bringing any food item that would require her to cook or bake. When the get togethers were planned she always piped up with “I’ll bring the pickles!”  It irritated her sisters-in-law but they let it go.  My aunt has been gone for years but one of the cousins always offers to bring the pickles in her honor. 

 

It’s THANKSGIVING. Why humiliate or embarrass a guest in your home? And besides, I don’t think I would enjoy food that was made grudgingly.

Honored Contributor
Posts: 30,922
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

Re: Thanksgiving pie-how to be honest with a guest

LOL!!!  Along with the bad cookie lady mentioned above, we had one who always signed up for the 'relish dish' which translated to "I need to clean out the fridge and I'm not going to cook or spend money on you people."