Community Chat

[ScarletDove]

Bake a traditional pumpkin or apple pie, let her bring the chiffon pumpkin and watch how the guests go after the pies.....that might solve next year...

[QueenDanceALot]

It's sad that she keeps bringing a pie that no one eats.

She's got issues, sounds like.

[hellie jo]

I see the op said the last few years the sister has brought that pie. Has anyone eaten it? What is different this year? Let it go.Enjoy the one time a year the family has Thanksgiving. You will look back in the future and say "was it worth all that for a stupid pie?"

[ShowMe]

I know this is about pumpkin pie....but yesterday when I put i my order for my groceries, I had asked the shopper to look for the Pepperidge Farm's Pumpkin Swirl bread.  They had it, so she put it in my order.  It is a limited edition....that's what they call it....and is only available at this time of the year.  OMGosh, it is so delicious.  Makes excellent toast.

Since I don't bake, will get a small pumpkin pie from the store.  They do make excellent pies where my groceries come from.

[Sooner]

You know what I think this is really about?  Our life experiences--which are all different.  I think those of us who had a loving and supportive family will answer far differently than those who had come contentious and difficult relatlives and inlaws!  

We had someone actually bring the stuff to MAKE a pie on Thanksgiving day.  Hubby LET her, so I'm out all my counter space and one oven while I am making (or trying to) the meal I had planned.  So it took a very long time, but we've decided sometimes we let people run all over us and we should have known better.

Our take now is to shut stuff like that down with a "we don't need to talk about that beause we'll just disagree"  a simple "No" or "sorry but we aren't available then" or "that date isn't good for us" etc. etc.  If people get upset because we aren't doing their bidding, that is their problem and not ours.

On the other hand, people who are sweet and nice or at least care about others, yes, we go out of their way and excuse them and probably cater to them too much! LOL!!  

But the bullies and the people who insist on running your life for you?  Nah.  Isn't worth the heartburn.  Just say no and let them do whatever it is they are going to do or think.  For us, it was a shamefully long time coming to figure this out. 

Don't make people a priority in your life if you are only an option in theirs.  Pretty much says it all.  We wasted a lot of time and effort pleasing people you could never please when we should have worried more about those we really could help along.

[esmerelda]

@petepetey  I don’t think you like your sister much.  Why did you say “guest“ in the title of this thread when it is your sister you are talking about? A little less passive-aggressiveness would be nice. Just say, “Nobody likes your pie.  Don’t bring it.“ Is the relationship so dishonest that that would be a shock to your sister? Does she really think that she and her pies are valued? 

And in the meantime, the sister is probably well aware of how much...or little...of her pie is eaten each year and doesn’t care because maybe she doesn’t like you either. And she’s taking up real estate at your table with her unwelcome pie.

I’m guessing Christmas is a real fun time too.

[this is my nic]

My advice about the pie issue us to let your sister bring whatever the heck she wants, just make or buy the kind of pie you and most of the others prefer.  

We make most of the meal, but ask our sons and daughter to bring something.  One d-i-l always brings green bean casserole which is very good and appreciated.  My other

d-i-l doesn't know how to turn the stove on, so we ask for something really simple like store bought rolls.  Well, the rolls came -- in the can!  At the last minute with every inch of space taken, trying to get everything done, we had to bake the rolls.  Honestly..... I just open another bottle of wine! 

[pigletsmom]

Maybe she doesn't like the pie you were making her bring for years and now she's finally bringing something she likes. You're worried about what everyone else will eat but what about her. Or she could be bored with bringing pie at all.

Just grab another pie at the store and be done with it. It seems a little strange to me that absolutely no one likes this type of pie.

I think I'd want more than one type of pie anyway. People have different tastes. I'm not a big pumpkin pie eater myself. Really not a big pie eater at all.

[occasionalrain]

I had an aunt who made her pie crust with lard and claimed that unless lard was used the pie wasn't worth eating. My mother didn't use lard and her pies were the best I've ever eaten so she never brought a pie to family gatherings. She didn't want to chance her's being more popular than my aunts. 

[jubilant]

I think a lot depends on family dynamics.  My sister and I are out and out with what we think and neither of us get our feelings hurt easily......soooo....in that case.... I would tell her what to bring. 

I do handle the new members of the family differently, however.  They are young (grandson's new wife and other grandson's fiance).  I have noticed they both usually choose to bring a dessert. I am happy they both want to contribute. Since thats what they usually bring...now I just ask for a dessert of their choice.  I want them to be comfortable with whatever they bring.  Also some family (as they get a little older or maybe have been ill) want to bring things that are simple for them to make.