Community Chat

[kaydee50]

You have been too generous and he took advantage.  Do not feel guilty about stopping this.  He is an adult and should act like one.  No one can be taken advantage of unless they let themselves be taken advantage of.

[pigletsmom]

If you guys make peace next time he says he's coming just say fine I'll have the room ready. Then tell him you have a pretty busy week and wont have time to entertain or anything. Then go about your life. He can rent a car and go do the stuff he wants to do.

I can see going out of your way for people you don't see often. He's coming often enough that I just treat it that he's there for a break, comes around enough to know the lay of the land and probably isn't looking to do any special sightseeing stuff.

[Still Raining]

I cant understand why someone could be a doormat for years until resentment bubbled over.  He was allowed to act in this manner.

Could you not open your mouth and articulate your expectations?

In my family it is expected to have respectful discussions. Often just simple like what time should we leave or what I can I bring to the dinner.  This paves the way to more serious matters if needed.

If you don't ask, you don't get!

[occasionalrain]

This is not the first thread from a poster who has begun something and regretted it. You have led your brother to think you love his visits a d enjoy pleasing him. Do you include him in the choice of activities you plan, if not he may think he's pleasing you by going along to the places you want to go but don't want to go alone.

Assuming others see things as you do is guaranteed to end in misunderstanding.

Try to see it as he does and consider that he may not be able to afford to pay back.

If you want to continue seeing him then tell him you find that you can no longer afford to buy beer, snacks or the activities so, while he's welcome to visit he'll have to cover the cost of those.

[happycat]

Does he ever invite you to his place? I realize you said, I think, you live in a resort or nice area, but still. He could return the invitiation. There must be something to do where he lives.

I'd be irritated and I'd also be mad becaue he just left and you don't know where he went. How inconsiderate of him!

I'd be upset too, and I'm sorry you are being treated like this. And why in the world couldn't he have offered to drive part of the time yesterday?

[RainCityWoman]

All I can say is I wish I had siblings. I know there are always disagreements within families, but my feeling is people need to cling to those ties. They are your blood and your essence, no matter what. No one else but your siblings share what you share. 

[hayseed00]

@jellyBEAN   Your brother is mad at you because you finally called him out on his cheep and selfish bad behavior.  Now he's trying to guilt trip you by not answering your text message.  I know he's your brother but he doesn't appreciate you.  He should applogize to you.

[SeaMaiden]

@jellyBEAN      You are/were a gracious hostess....  HE is rude, a user and an abuser WHO JUST HAPPENS TO BE YOUR BROTHER.....

I broke off my relationships with my siblings YEARS AGO.  I do not need to have upset from people who are only concerned for themselves IN MY LIFE.  

   Next time he texts you( if he does to appologize....) tell him just how you feel....  tell him everything you wrote here and MORE.. And do not answer him back.  YOU close the door in HIS FACE.  Do not let HIM HAVE THE FINAL WORDS. 

 He sounds miserable. You are blood, but that does not mean you need to put up with someone who is just a nasty user. He made YOU feel bad in YOUR HOME when you were being a gracious hostess. SHAME ON HIM.  

Stop being a doormat for him to wipe his  dirty shoes on.

[SeaMaiden]

---

@RainCityWoman wrote:

All I can say is I wish I had siblings. I know there are always disagreements within families, but my feeling is people need to cling to those ties. They are your blood and your essence, no matter what. No one else but your siblings share what you share. 

---

must be why there are so  many family murders and massacres..... all that loving blood and essence.

[CrazyDaisy]

---

@SeaMaiden wrote:

---

@RainCityWoman wrote:

All I can say is I wish I had siblings. I know there are always disagreements within families, but my feeling is people need to cling to those ties. They are your blood and your essence, no matter what. No one else but your siblings share what you share. 

---

must be why there are so  many family murders and massacres..... all that loving blood and essence LOL!

---

Horrible thing to say, then laugh.