Reply
Honored Contributor
Posts: 14,354
Registered: ‎03-16-2010

@RedTop wrote:

I realized years ago that growing up in a house with 2 brothers only started the connection of us being related and sharing the same parents.  

 

My brothers were pre-teen and teenager when I moved out and started my married life.   Visiting me in my house, eating meals at my house, made them see me differently.   Helping them with school projects, watching them finish school, helping them learn to drive, get their first jobs, etc., made me see them differently.   Our relationships changed; grew much deeper and more defined.   As young siblings we fought, and we’ve never forgotten some of our best fights, but we do not fight as adults.   No harsh words, no hard feelings between us.  

 

I know my brothers are only a text or call away, as do they.   We are proud of our relationship and don’t use, or abuse each other.   I pray for my brothers daily, and am determined to never let anything come between us.   

 

I think you and your brother need to define your sibling relationship and make it what you want it to be.   Best wishes to you!


@RedTop  how refreshing to read about someone who loves and gets along with their siblings. It seems your brothers are lucky to have you for a sister and you are lucky to have them too.

Honored Contributor
Posts: 30,239
Registered: ‎03-12-2010

You need to tell him Good-bye.  You'd better not wait.  The longer he stays the more difficult it will be to get rid of him!

Honored Contributor
Posts: 10,940
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

Families are not all the same. Growing up we visited relatives and they visited us. Those visiting were treated as guests and were expected to pay for nothing. Offering to pay would have been seen as an insult. 

I don't know how your brother sees you and it's unfair to accuse him of being a user and you an easy mark when it could be nothing more than a misunderstanding. 

The posters who have labeled him and you, most if not all, haven't rewarding relationships with their own families. Consider that.

Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 5,896
Registered: ‎03-20-2010

It amazes me how fast some people will write off family and friends based on one side of some story.  

Someday, when scientists discover the center of the Universe....some people will be disappointed it is not them.
Honored Contributor
Posts: 21,733
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

@occasionalrain wrote:

Families are not all the same. Growing up we visited relatives and they visited us. Those visiting were treated as guests and were expected to pay for nothing. Offering to pay would have been seen as an insult. 

I don't know how your brother sees you and it's unfair to accuse him of being a user and you an easy mark when it could be nothing more than a misunderstanding. 

The posters who have labeled him and you, most if not all, haven't rewarding relationships with their own families. Consider that.


While I agree with your saying that all families are not the same, I vehemently disagree with your saying most posters who have labeled the brother or the poster have negative relationships with their own families.

 

I do think it's very difficult to come to an opinion based on just hearing one side, but that doesn't warrant a generalization about those posters.

 

 


~Who in the world am I? Ah, that's the great puzzle~ Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland
Honored Contributor
Posts: 21,733
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

@Jordan2 wrote:

@RedTop wrote:

I realized years ago that growing up in a house with 2 brothers only started the connection of us being related and sharing the same parents.  

 

My brothers were pre-teen and teenager when I moved out and started my married life.   Visiting me in my house, eating meals at my house, made them see me differently.   Helping them with school projects, watching them finish school, helping them learn to drive, get their first jobs, etc., made me see them differently.   Our relationships changed; grew much deeper and more defined.   As young siblings we fought, and we’ve never forgotten some of our best fights, but we do not fight as adults.   No harsh words, no hard feelings between us.  

 

I know my brothers are only a text or call away, as do they.   We are proud of our relationship and don’t use, or abuse each other.   I pray for my brothers daily, and am determined to never let anything come between us.   

 

I think you and your brother need to define your sibling relationship and make it what you want it to be.   Best wishes to you!


@RedTop  how refreshing to read about someone who loves and gets along with their siblings. It seems your brothers are lucky to have you for a sister and you are lucky to have them too.


@Jordan2, yes, it is very heartening. Unfortunately, just because people share the same blood doesn't mean that they will be so lucky. People are people, blood-related or not.


~Who in the world am I? Ah, that's the great puzzle~ Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland
Respected Contributor
Posts: 2,632
Registered: ‎04-03-2010

Wow, so many responses and different views of my post.  Thank you all for all the different viewpoints.  All I can say at this point is I'm glad he made it to his next destination safely.  He'll be staying over some other friends' home for a week or so, but as they are all friends, they'll have more common interests.  Yeah, it's my fault for not speaking up earlier, I had wanted to, and certainly thought about it, but I'm not a very good speaker - my emotions and shyness get the better of me I think, am much better at writing my thoughts down. 

 

But I certainly got a kick out of your replies.  I'll hold the beer for y'all. Woman LOL

 

Flowers are nature's way of laughing
Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 6,162
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

Keeping score never works for family or close friends -- either you enjoy spending time with your brother, or you don't. You're both offended and too old to change. DIFFERENCES BECOME CONFLICT WHEN EMOTIONS GET INVOLVED. With only one sibling as family, take the high road and keep emotions out of it. Sorry to be so direct, but being unable to set boundaries and unloading emotions ruins a lot of relationships. 

"I took a walk in the woods and came out taller than the trees." Henry David Thoreau
Respected Contributor
Posts: 3,715
Registered: ‎09-27-2010

I haven't read all of the posts but, just going by what the OP has provided, I immediately had the feeling that the brother acted as though he was "cornered" and, knowing what was coming, decided that the best defense was a good offense.  By striking first, he avoided having to listen to what he probably knew was going to be leveled at him.

Super Contributor
Posts: 344
Registered: ‎08-06-2014
jellyBean, I have 2 sisters that do not want anything to do with me My heart is aching for you; try to find some inward peace. It's very hard for most siblings like 'us'. It truly goes against the natural flow of one's life....blessings sent to you via caring thoughts.