Reply
Valued Contributor
Posts: 572
Registered: ‎01-10-2014

Hi All.  Hope this is the right place to post this.  My friend's daugher is 10 years old. She is a cute girl, but is spoiled and unruly, and she never listens to my friend and her husband when they try to correct her on how she is acting. They basically let her do what she wants.  Well lately, the little girl has been asking me if she could sleep over my house.  How do I say no to her without sounding mean?  I don't think I could handle her on an overnight visit.  Any advice would be appreciated.  Thanks!

Honored Contributor
Posts: 18,350
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Lay down ground rules: regarding bedtime and the routine that goes with it. Do you have a daughter the same age as your friend's daughter? Would this be a during the week or a weekend type sleep over?

☼The best place to seek God is in a garden. You can dig for him there. GBShaw☼
Honored Contributor
Posts: 44,967
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

I hesitate to open a can of worms here, but I'm always curious when a child wants to avoid being home.  Is there something going on at home that requires escaping to a friend's house?

~My philosophy: Dogs are God's most perfect creatures. Angels, here on Earth, who teach us to be better human beings.~
Trusted Contributor
Posts: 1,713
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

Unless you have a child, it would be odd for her to sleep over at your house.  JMO.  So I'd just say "sorry, no sleepovers!" if she asks again.  Nicely, and don't over-explain to kids is my recommendation.  Kids ask for a lot - especially spoiled kids.  She probably doesn't even want to spend the night with you but thinks you have something (snacks, movies) that she wants.  

Super Contributor
Posts: 303
Registered: ‎10-22-2015

"How do I say no to her without sounding mean?  I don't think I could handle her on an overnight visit"

 

You answered it yourself :-)

 

old saying

"Yes and no, are answers"

"In the end, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends." MLK
Valued Contributor
Posts: 773
Registered: ‎05-08-2015

Take it as a compliment!  This little girl looks up to you and thinks you're fun.  My niece and nephew sleep over a few times a year.  They are very different with me than they are with their parents.  I agree- set the ground rules ahead of time...."If I have to tell you more than once XXXXX, you will need to go home." and be prepared to stick to it.

Enjoy!

 

You have sacrificed nothing and no one.
Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 5,337
Registered: ‎01-09-2011

How about "no", as in "No Sweetie, I don't think that will work out."

"Cats are poetry in motion. Dogs are gibberish in neutral." -Garfield
Respected Contributor
Posts: 4,038
Registered: ‎03-11-2010

Re: Need Advice

[ Edited ]

I would just say that "overnight" would not work, but we could do something else fun (go somewhere she likes--movie, zoo, whatever, then do lunch).  In other words, say no nicely and move on right away with a different subject.  If she presses (why?), say that you would enjoy doing something with her in the daytime more than an overnight.  Tell the truth as much as possible without being hurtful.

 

If you don't think you could "handle her," if you don't want her overnight, you should not have her!  Don't do it!   The visit could be something that isn't good for either of you. It could spoil your relationship with her and her parents.

Valued Contributor
Posts: 665
Registered: ‎12-09-2013

@Mrsq2022 wrote:

Unless you have a child, it would be odd for her to sleep over at your house.  JMO.  So I'd just say "sorry, no sleepovers!" if she asks again.  Nicely, and don't over-explain to kids is my recommendation.  Kids ask for a lot - especially spoiled kids.  She probably doesn't even want to spend the night with you but thinks you have something (snacks, movies) that she wants.  


 

I totslly agree with you  Very odd for the 10 year old to sleep over at your house if you don't have a child her age.

Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 6,901
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: Need Advice

[ Edited ]

How about - I appreciate that you would like to stay at my house but that wouldn't work for me right now.  If she asks why I wouldn't go into detail, but just repeat that it wouldn't work for you right now.