Re: Divorce

Its Me LuLuBelle2 · ‎10-12-2016

@Shanus, thank you for your kind words. I haven't thought of my ex in years. Looking back I think of that experience as one of those bumps in the road on our journey thru life. I learned I was tougher than I ever thought and everyone is not what they present themselve's to be. Two very valuable life lessons. I was also much wiser and took my time before marrying a second time. It's all good! Best, LuLu

Citrine1 · ‎03-09-2010

Most of my friends are still married (as am I), but both of my sisters and my brother are all divorced.

KathyM23 · ‎11-20-2010

I think that one of the things that contributed to the high divorce rate, particularly among the younger generation was changing the divorce process. At one time, it was an expensive and long plrocess from separation to final decree. Then along came dissolution making it way too easy to end a marriage. No time for reflection and possibly deciding to try to save the marriage. Just come to a custody and financial agreement and 30 days later - no longer married. Not saying people slhould stay married if they do not want to - I am divorced myself, just an observation on the high rate of ending marriages.

And @Cakers3 your comment on lower income/less educated divorces, I disagree with that finding. In my circle of friends of 9 couples we socialized with, 7 couples, me included, are now divorced and only two couples remain married. And I don't think the two still married are particulary happy together. All of us were in upper middle class group (not wealthy, but comfortable financially - professional and/or business owners and educated beyond high school. I think the divorce rate is pretty even - no matter your income or education.

Carmie · ‎10-25-2010

I met my husband when I was 15 and got married when I was 19. We have been married 45 years.

i never thought about divorcing him, but I came close to killing him a few times ( being scarcastic)

All but one of my very dear friends are married. The one that is divorced has been divorced twice and I didn't like either fellow and knew before their wedding that it wouldn't work. One was abusive and the other one crazy and controlling with an adult deadbeat son who lived with them.

AuntG · ‎03-09-2010

Most of my acquaintances have had just one marriage and are still married. Of course, there were divorced people in my office, and my DH has a pretty high divorce rate in his family.

proudlyfromNJ · ‎05-01-2010

@KathyM23 wrote:
I think that one of the things that contributed to the high divorce rate, particularly among the younger generation was changing the divorce process. At one time, it was an expensive and long plrocess from separation to final decree. Then along came dissolution making it way too easy to end a marriage. No time for reflection and possibly deciding to try to save the marriage. Just come to a custody and financial agreement and 30 days later - no longer married. Not saying people slhould stay married if they do not want to - I am divorced myself, just an observation on the high rate of ending marriages.

And @Cakers3 your comment on lower income/less educated divorces, I disagree with that finding. In my circle of friends of 9 couples we socialized with, 7 couples, me included, are now divorced and only two couples remain married. And I don't think the two still married are particulary happy together. All of us were in upper middle class group (not wealthy, but comfortable financially - professional and/or business owners and educated beyond high school. I think the divorce rate is pretty even - no matter your income or education.

@KathyM23. I was divorced in the late 70's. I think we had to be separated one year. It was not expensive.

KathyM23 · ‎11-20-2010

@proudlyfromNJ That was also about the time of my "divorce" I had a dissolution. That was a new thing about that time. My mention of expensive referred to attorney fees when you need interloculary decrees, more paperwork, the final decree. The time period I know about was the 1960's when a friend was tryilng to get a divorce.

Katcat1 · ‎07-21-2011

Years ago people had hard times but they stuck together. Today they divorce at the flick of a hat. They don't want to put in the effort. Yes, there are some that work it out and go to counseling but not many care to. It seems in years to come people will not marry at all. So many women are having children without being married now and in my day it was unheard of -- a shame, a disgrace. Boy, times sure have changed. p.s. I am divorce but I gave it all I could (a few years) and had to leave a bad situation.

kindness is strength

proudlyfromNJ · ‎05-01-2010

@KathyM23 wrote:
@proudlyfromNJ That was also about the time of my "divorce" I had a dissolution. That was a new thing about that time. My mention of expensive referred to attorney fees when you need interloculary decrees, more paperwork, the final decree. The time period I know about was the 1960's when a friend was tryilng to get a divorce.

@KathyM23. Hi Kathy. We did each have a lawyer but I don't remember the fees being too bad. Neither of us contested it so basically just paperwork although we did have to go to court and testify to get the final decree.

JeanLouiseFinch · ‎10-03-2011

I honestly don't know too many divorced people be it friends or family. My DH and I met and started dating in 1974. I couldn't imagine a day without him. We've had a journey filled with immense joy and immense tragedy, and everything in between. I'm thankful and blessed that I had parents who were each others first and only spouse, and for the godly example they set for my sisters and me on what it means to be a failthful partner. DH's parents married young and were divorced from their first spouses after a few years but found each other soon after so they had a long marriage to each other, too, until my FIL passed away. At our son's wedding a couple of months ago, it was my oldest sister and BIL who "won" for the longest marriage - 50 yrs., and my other sister and BIL were the next longest - 47 yrs. DH and I will celebrate our 40th wedding anniversary in just a couple of weeks. Sure he's made me mad more times than I can count. I'm sure it's probably far more for the times I've frustrated him. We've shared the best and the worst in life, made plans together and saw them realized, did some stupid stuff in our youth but wised up with age. No, I don't know what happens behind closed doors, but sometimes I wonder if some people have a misguided idea of what marriage is. Certainly there are some very valid reasons to part ways but I have to wonder if some folks go into marriage with unrealistic expectations and throw in the towel to soon. JMHO