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Super Contributor
Posts: 355
Registered: ‎07-27-2010

 Hello all,

 

I just came to the realization that every single one of my close friends have been divorced. This occurred for various reasons… From infidelity to just growing apart.  No judgment… I support each of my friends decisions and I want them all to be happy. I just find it interesting how rampant divorce Is in my circle of friends.

 

Just to add some context, all of my friends are very nice, hard-working in and out of the household, smart, wonderful women. I don't want you to think they are superficial or flaky that's what makes this subject more impactful to me. 

 

The reason I posted this thread is I'm kind of shocked. Just surprised that marriages around me have NOT lasted

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Respected Contributor
Posts: 2,916
Registered: ‎03-14-2010

Statistics are about 1 in 2 end in divorce. Higher for second marriages. It's really a cultural revolution. Women don't need to stay with men they're not happy with. Into middle age many couples have assets and the dissolution of those assets gives the newly single a good chance of moving forward without being in poverty. Whether the decision to divorce was the right one, only the parties involved can say.

 

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Respected Contributor
Posts: 4,134
Registered: ‎03-04-2015

Divorce isn't always a bad thing. When I left mt ex I found myself...never been happier,and I was able to get off all my meds...

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Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 7,028
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

I have a few friends who have divorced.  One in particular has struggled a lot afterwards.  Another friend became a widow when her youngest was only in first grade.

 

Most of my friends are still together with their spouses.

 

The biggest surprise to me was when my former next door neighbor (for over 20 years) left his wife for another man.....totally unexpected!

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Respected Contributor
Posts: 3,720
Registered: ‎04-19-2010

I also have seen way too many long-time marriages with unhappy partners who just have stuck together despite wandering spouses, selfish partners, and lazy ones. They seem to have little warmth or respect judging by the way they speak to and of each other. Finding the right partner and enjoying the journey is a blessing.

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Honored Contributor
Posts: 18,709
Registered: ‎08-08-2010

Honestly I think it happens so much more now because women have options. They have educations, careers or jobs and the ability to financially take care of themselves.

 

In many previous generations, women stayed because they pretty much felt they had to. 

 

Also, I don't think that many people today really work hard at things. They might work hard at certain things, but many things in their lives are easy to give up on, like working at a marriage, because it is easier to do and there is less stigma now than in the past. 

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Respected Contributor
Posts: 4,748
Registered: ‎03-11-2010

My 96 year old mother is VERY old fashioned. When my daughter got divorced, Mom was worried that all my daughter’s married friends would desert her, fearing that their husbands might be stolen. I told my mother that times have changed and that modern, independent women have friends who are married or not. In fact, I too have friends who are married, divorced, and widowed. The thought that my single friends would go after my husband never entered my mind. Thinking that way really short-changes women as well as men. Those who want to cheat will do so, regardless of who their spouse’s friends are. My daughter meets once a year with three of her sorority sisters for a girls’ weekend. Two are married, one is in a long-term lesbian relationship, and one, my daughter, is divorced. Their friendship is three-decades old. Nothing will «tear it asunder.»

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Honored Contributor
Posts: 12,500
Registered: ‎03-11-2010

I know several people that have divorced. My best friend divorced years ago after she had an affair. She's married to the guy she had an affair with. I'm pretty sure 1 of her sons is his since he looks just like him. I kind of got caught in the middle of that since I was friends with both husband & wife. The husband thought I knew about it but I did not know until after the fact.

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Honored Contributor
Posts: 11,448
Registered: ‎01-22-2016

@haddon9 

 

Truth is more common than most people realize married men who really are not heterosexual marry the unsuspecting women live double lives. I know right! 

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Honored Contributor
Posts: 20,644
Registered: ‎05-17-2010

Hope this doesn’t sound selfish, but when many of our couple friends divorced, it was sad for them, but also affected us. The divorced women (when married, we all met for lunch), now formed their own groups of divorced women. The couples we went out with, of course now dissolved, left us with only a small group of friends.