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Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 5,777
Registered: ‎02-22-2015

My parents divorced when I was in the fifth grade. They were both much happier and my dad was able to pursue the career he really wanted.

 

The amazing thing was my mom, who had never worked, found her education was useful and she thoroughly enjoyed working! She thrived as an editor and became well-known as a journalist and literary & book reviewer. It was her career that really took off nationally! 

 

I'm so proud of the accomplishments of both parents, but my mom far exceeded anything she ever anticipated. Her second marriage (after we were raised) was happy and compatible, full of travel and great friends. They made the best grandparents for my son!

 

In our family, divorce was a blessing in disguise for all concerned. My sister and I loved both parents equally. 

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Valued Contributor
Posts: 826
Registered: ‎01-21-2011

@indoor kitty  So true.  I didn'y marry until I was in my 40's.  My whole family, all my friends, everybody I knew was married, happy or not.  I really wanted to be married.  Well you know the old saying...be careful what you wish for.  I met my husband when I was 41.  I had a really good job, a nice life but lonely especially around the holidays.  He's a lot older than me, but at the time it didn't make a difference.  He's attractive, stable, and had been married for over 30 years before she died at a fairly young age.  Well 20+ years later, I'm old and he's really old.  We're generations apart in thinking and while I have a good life in many aspects, I'm mentally and physically worn out by being the spouse who does mostly all the things in and around the house.  I truly give credit to the women who are strong enough to leave and try to find happiness in whatever time we have left.  

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Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 6,956
Registered: ‎06-25-2012

We are the only ones still married (40 years) in our group of friends. What I find astonishing....every single one of my kids friends all come from divorced familes. ALL of them! That is very, very sad. 

"Pure Michigan"
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Honored Contributor
Posts: 26,549
Registered: ‎12-17-2012

I watched family stay together for the kids.  Worst mistake they could make.  Children know.

 

My DD wasn't happy when her dad and I split, but now that she is older, she wonders how we ever got along.  LOL  I felt the same way about my parents and she did, too.  It amazed her that we all were "married couples" because of our different personalities. 

 

The good part is that we all remained friends ... even if for the sake of my DD.  We love each other for reasons different than why we got married.  I guess we were/are blessed in that area. 

 

I wish everyone could go into and thru divorce like they do marriage... with the best outcome possible.

Fate whispers to her, "You cannot withstand the storm." She whispers back, "I am the storm."

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Honored Contributor
Posts: 9,636
Registered: ‎06-17-2015

I believe the statistics indicate that lower income/lower education couple divorce at higher rates than educatied/higher income couples.

 

 

""Out beyond the ideas of right-doing and wrong-doing, there is a field. I will meet you there." -Rumi
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Respected Contributor
Posts: 3,821
Registered: ‎01-18-2012

There are 10 of us ladies who meet once a month and go out for dinner - only myself and one other  are still married to the same husband the rest all been married once, twice one lady 5 times currently divorced and one lady is a widow.

 

The conversation always goes how lucky they all are and how hard it must be for us married ones cooking, doing laundry, etc.,  and then the big one 'being not free'.

 

Whilst I think if you are unhappy then divorce is good as if you are in an unbearable relationship good for you to get out but, I am as free as I want to be and would not ever want to be without DH - we are a team - have travelled the world, have great kids and are still on our journey.  This is just referring to my group of ladies and my experience with them.

 

 

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Honored Contributor
Posts: 13,869
Registered: ‎04-28-2010

SunValley:  Yes, sometimes having a lazy partner is frustrating, especially when there isn't enough money to hire handy-persons. 

 

'More or less', 'Right or wrong', 'In general', and 'Just thinking out loud ' (as usual).
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Honored Contributor
Posts: 26,549
Registered: ‎12-17-2012

@Cakers wrote:

I believe the statistics indicate that lower income/lower education couple divorce at higher rates than educatied/higher income couples.

 

 


Well, that may be true now, but I'm not sure about years  ago.  Women needed the income from their menfolk.  Now ... we make it on our own.  Education had nothing to do with the choices they made...Income did.

 

I also know some that won't marry because the state gives them more money to support their kids than they would ever get out of the babydaddy.  Have them in my family.   

 

Every person has their reasons.

Fate whispers to her, "You cannot withstand the storm." She whispers back, "I am the storm."

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Valued Contributor
Posts: 625
Registered: ‎03-14-2010

I have no interest in deciding what is right for other people.  We all have to choose our own way.

 

For me, being married is a ride I wouldn't have missed for anything.  We're coming up on 32 years of marriage next month.  I was 22 when we married, 20 when we met.

 

We've traveled the world, raised an outstanding daughter, and now we are grandparents to two grandsons.

 

My husband was there when my grandma made ice cream and burnt peanut butter cookies for my 20th birthday.  She's been dead for twenty years.

 

I remember his grandmother.  We used to exchange letters.  I found my old correspondence in her bible after she died.  She's been gone a long time.

 

If he dies before me, I will never marry again.  For me, marriage is a treasure, an opportunity to share a life, with all of its wretched agonies, and all of its unmitigated joys.  There's no one else whose memories are so precisely matched to mine.  It's quite a thing.

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Honored Contributor
Posts: 9,763
Registered: ‎05-01-2010

I have been divorced for about 40 years as are the friends I have now. We never even think about it. We are close friends as are our current husbands. I don't think any of us even remember our first ones! Another past life. Things happen.