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Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 7,453
Registered: ‎03-19-2014

It might be a little immature and disrespectful but it's actually pretty mild compared to some stuff I've seen on FB when two people are in the midst of a disagreemtnt..

Knowledge is knowing that a tomato is a fruit, but Wisdom is knowing not to put it in a fruit salad.
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Honored Contributor
Posts: 11,153
Registered: ‎05-22-2012

I think it depends on the family member. If it bothers you, you can delete comments you don't like from your own posts. You can also message the person directly and let him or her know how you feel about it why you deleted it, if you choose to do so. I've done that with friends before. Most of my family isn't on Facebook.

Regular Contributor
Posts: 164
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

Thank you ladirs for your thoughtful advice. Didn't mention this is my DIL and if I get too fresh with her she won't let me see my gks. As it is I haven't seen them in 18 mths. I am going down (out of state) for a couple of days, will stay in a hotel.  My son whom I love very much won't really take a stand. Tries to keep the peace.  We were having a tiny disagreement, no joking around, when she did that. Felinemom     P,S. I'm not a martyr, just trying to see the gks whom I adore.

Respected Contributor
Posts: 4,148
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

If everything is kept in the private message I wouldn't care as much.    Without knowing the entire context of the disagreement it's hard to say if any of this is disrespeful. Not enough information to form an opinion.

Honored Contributor
Posts: 20,648
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

I suppose I would just chalk it up to immaturity and be amused that the person doesn't seem to have the cognitive or intellectual tools to have a grown-up conversation.

 

I don't think it is even worthy of being assigned disrespect because it's so ridiculous.

Respected Contributor
Posts: 3,120
Registered: ‎04-17-2015

@felinemom wrote:

Thank you ladirs for your thoughtful advice. Didn't mention this is my DIL and if I get too fresh with her she won't let me see my gks. As it is I haven't seen them in 18 mths. I am going down (out of state) for a couple of days, will stay in a hotel.  My son whom I love very much won't really take a stand. Tries to keep the peace.  We were having a tiny disagreement, no joking around, when she did that. Felinemom     P,S. I'm not a martyr, just trying to see the gks whom I adore.


Ah, this is unfortunate....that you feel you have to walk on eggshells with your DIL (who is lacking in maturity) in order to see your grandchildren.  Not an uncommon problem.  And, unfortunately, your son is caught between the proverbial "rock and a hard place", but his loyalty obviously needs to be with his wife.

 

I wouldn't give this particular respnse of hers a second thought as it comes from a place of immaturity.  With such an individual, and with the situation being as it is, however, I would try to stay clear of any disagreements with her, if at all possible.

 

 

Respected Contributor
Posts: 2,254
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

I would first consider who the family member is and if their opinion really mattered to me. If the answer is not really then I wouldn't feel like it was personally disrespectful to me I would just think they are childish and obviously don't have a very good vocabulary if they have to resort to those kinds of emoticons. If it was a personal close family member I would probably ask them about it in a nice way and let them know that I really thought it was rude on their part then let it go.

Honored Contributor
Posts: 14,917
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

the DIL is making things difficult for your son and the grandchildren.i think it is sad that she has such poor feelings for you.I have a son too and I always worry about his future wife and if she will like me....seems that most of the younger ones feel that their guy isn't a man unless he doesn't have much to do with his mother.I love my son and want his happiness first so I would back away from any conflict with his partner.

i really hope that you have a nice visit with your sons wife as well as your son and grandchildren.I think if you go into the visit with positive thoughts that maybe it will bring a little kindness from your DIL.You can never have too many people to love,

Honored Contributor
Posts: 11,093
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

@felinemom wrote:

Thank you ladirs for your thoughtful advice. Didn't mention this is my DIL and if I get too fresh with her she won't let me see my gks. As it is I haven't seen them in 18 mths. I am going down (out of state) for a couple of days, will stay in a hotel.  My son whom I love very much won't really take a stand. Tries to keep the peace.  We were having a tiny disagreement, no joking around, when she did that. Felinemom     P,S. I'm not a martyr, just trying to see the gks whom I adore.


Bite your tongue keep your comments to yourself and just kiss those babies.  The grandchildren are all that matters.  I had a sister-in-law for a "short time" (she did not last but 5 months) who always wanted to cause trouble for me.  My brother told me how much more he loved and respected me for never complaining about her or giving into her anger.  I just continued on drawing her out and making her laugh.  My brother noticed my effort and told me he appreciated it.  Grandkids are from God.

"Live frugally, but love extravagantly."
Respected Contributor
Posts: 2,664
Registered: ‎05-13-2010

OP--Your DIL is clearly a hopeless piece of work.  I have a trick I use when having to interact with my brat of a DIL.  I give her the distant respect I would give the housekeeper.  I got the idea from how my son treats her!  Just part of the scenery.  Sad but true.