Community Chat

[hckynut]

not on fb. no i would not

hnj

[stargazergal]

How sad........ A well wish for special occassions does not have to be on FB. , but

for them to not even acknowledge you on special occassions would truly hurt a

moms heart deep down.   I hope that you have communicated this to them

at one time or another.   Facebook is nice to get to see family photo's etc.

I would communicate to them truly how you feel.  They should know.

They may not even realise how much they are hurting you as they just

may be consumed in their own busy lives.  Maybe try reaching out more

often.... make more contact.... don't wait for them to, just do it..... see how

it goes.  Sending you a hug..... and hope things get better down the road.

Did something happen in the last several years to cause such avoidance?

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@QVCalm wrote:

I haven't had that exact FB post/pic, but my son and daughter disrespect me 100% by avoiding any personal mention about them--to me--and never in more than 7 years have never mentioned that I am a FB Friend, my birthday, Mother's day, any holiday. ALL their post leave me OUT. Yet, it is the only place I can see them, know how they are, where they work, where they live, who they love. And, I ask for more--just enough to keep a sense of family connection--so I keep my post 'personally open' when I message on their FB page/email. I must keep the door open to them, but my heart is breaking.......

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[Nancy Drew]

My whole extended family is on FB. We only post pictures for others to see. The occasional share of an article they might like. Nothing political even tho we are mostly on the same page. I don't know how we all became to agree on this but am so happy we did. No one engages in any family drama. We make calls if there are problems even the young ones. However if some family some disrespected me on FB I would unfriendly them family or not. Just because they are family doesn't mean I have to like them.

[GCR18]

To keep the peace, I'd ignore the post.  I'd also not get into a disagreement with the DIL.  Keep it light and pleasant if you have to interact on Facebook.  Yes, it was disrespectful.

[MomCat]

I think it really depends on that relationship to know if this is bad, or just light humor. Disrespect hurts more when it's family, but unless you are the type to take the hits to keep peace, you have to avoid the negative as much as possible. I have a good friend who refuses to put up with her grown daughter's drama, and they go periods of time without speaking. The daughter always gives in, which makes me laugh. My friend is determined to live a peaceful life, so she stands her ground. Good for her! And, she feels better about herserlf for it.

[Marcail0825]

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@GCR18 wrote:

To keep the peace, I'd ignore the post.  I'd also not get into a disagreement with the DIL.  Keep it light and pleasant if you have to interact on Facebook.  Yes, it was disrespectful.

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ITA with your post.

[KathyPet]

There is no win for you in a disagreement with a DIL.  She has the power over your son and the grands.  If you want to see them then you zip your lip and nod agreement with everything she says.  Sad but true.

[Mominohio]

It would depend on who the conversation was with (how close we are), and their sense (and mine I guess) of humor. It would depend on the subject matter, and if we had the kind of relationship that we 'sparred' often.

Mostly I'd have to say that I wouldn't be offended and would have the tendency to laugh about it. But it is hard, with the written word, to always understand the exact tone of what people are 'saying'.

[YorkieonmyPillow]

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@felinemom wrote:

Thank you ladirs for your thoughtful advice. Didn't mention this is my DIL and if I get too fresh with her she won't let me see my gks. As it is I haven't seen them in 18 mths. I am going down (out of state) for a couple of days, will stay in a hotel.  My son whom I love very much won't really take a stand. Tries to keep the peace.  We were having a tiny disagreement, no joking around, when she did that. Felinemom     P,S. I'm not a martyr, just trying to see the gks whom I adore.

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You poor thing.

This is JMO, but if you haven't seen them in 18 months, and you have to tiptoe around your darling DIL - I wouldn't go.

I would just leave them to it.  I don't think you're being treated right. You won't get to have a real relationship with your grandchildren anyway; she will prevent that.

Usually I would agree that a man's loyalty must be to his wife, but in this situation, unless FM has done something she's not telling, I don't think a man should allow his wife to keep his mother at arm's length.

Sorry your son is whipped!