Re: How can I handle this?

Mom2Dogs · ‎03-09-2010

@TX-starlight ....I don't blame you. I have a similar situation....the sister of my friend almost always joins us....it's just not the same. The close relationship we once shared has diminished a bit. We are still friends, but I don't look forward to our outings like I used to....we all live in the same area.

I don't think there is a way around it....I don't want to look petty about it so I just go with the flo....you either have to tell her or do the same and try to enjoy the outing with everyone that she includes.

SXMGirl · ‎07-07-2010

@TX-starlight Ask her to let you know when the two of you can meet to catch up. I do hope that she lets you know ahead of time that she will be bringing someone with her. Be honest with her and let her know how you feel and see how she reacts. I learned the hard way that when you try to consolidate visits, that quite often nothing good comes from it.

The next time that I hear salt and ice together, it better be in a margarita!

K9buddy · ‎03-09-2010

Your friend comes once a month to your town. Why don't you go to her town once a month to see her alone if it's that important to you. Why should she only have to accommodate you?

Puppy Lips · ‎05-09-2010

@TX-starlight I don't think you are being selfish. We only have so much time in each day and in our lifetime. It sounds like she is trying to get the most friend time with each visit by inviting more friends to join you. But, if you truly don't enjoy sharing the time with your friend with other people that you don't know, then you should not have to. Either let your friend know that, so you can make other arrangements, or go visit her once in a while so you have control.

Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else. Margaret Mead

TX-starlight · ‎03-10-2010

@K9buddy She isn't "accommodating" me at all. I've offered several times, to drive to her location. I am also driving 25 miles to meet when she comes to town. I don't live in the town where we meet, it's her former hometown.

qbetzforreal · ‎08-28-2010

@chrystaltree wrote:
She's trying to get all of her visiting in at one time but that's selfish of her since you don't know the other people. I'm a big one for honesty when it comes to close family and friends. She must know you well enough to know that you are not a big time socializer who enjoys chatting with strangers. I'd just tell the truth. That you love seeing her when she's in town but you feel a little out of place when she invites people you don't know. Ask if it can be just the two of you, perhaps every other month.

The friend isn't being selfish as the purpose of her visit is to shop. The lunch with friends and family is in additional to the shopping.

jubilant · ‎06-10-2010

You consider her a dear friend and value her friendship very much. Considering how important this relationship is to you, I think it's worth letting her know that you miss your one on one time with her and see if you could meet each other half way on this. If she considers you the same, she should be honored...not offended.

K9buddy · ‎03-09-2010

@TX-starlight wrote:
@K9buddy She isn't "accommodating" me at all. I've offered several times, to drive to her location. I am also driving 25 miles to meet when she comes to town. I don't live in the town where we meet, it's her former hometown.

Sorry, that wasn't clear from your post. It seems like your friend is fine with seeing you at the same time as her other friends. Seems like you're going to have to initiate the meeting and say you'd love to catch up with her one on one. She's apparently trying to kill 2 birds with 1 stone.

jannabelle1 · ‎09-12-2010

@TX-starlight, I get it now with your further explanation....so you and your friend are both driving 25 miles to meet for lunch. I don't think you're being sefish at all, and I'd be really disappointed that others are invited by your friend when you think it's just going to be the two of you.

If this happened to me, I'd probably tell her that while I love getting together with her, I really miss the one-on-one lunches, and that maybe we could pick a day/time that would work for just the two of us. Put the "burden" on yourself - sometimes you enjoy chatting about things with her that you're not comfortable talking about with people you don't really know....that's why you value your friendship with her!