How can I handle this? - Page 2

Lucky Charm · ‎03-09-2010

Why don't you plan on once a month driving to her and having your one on one?

It's too much for her to see everyone she wants to and do a major shopping trip. Maybe you can pick up some items for her on the way, things she specifically shops for when she comes to town.

I'd drive the miles to see a good friend.

ItsME · ‎03-10-2010

I'm with @Abrowneyegirl @on this. Your friend gets to town once a month. She has multiple friends she wants to see. You are one of them. Be grateful! If you want one on one time, travel to see her.

KingstonsMom · ‎03-09-2010

@TX-starlight

I would just kindly express to her how much you look forward to your lunches with her for the one-on-one time it affords, when it's just you two.

I think she would understand and appreciate that you miss the intimacy of the friendship between just you two.

I know I would!

You never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have.

Sooner · ‎03-10-2010

My take is life changes. Friends come and go and have different roles in our lives.

Like others said, if you can't go to her for one on one visits, then I think it is just a point where life changes, you two don't see one another often, and as time goes on you share fewer experiences and have less to talk about.

Maybe the real key is thinking about who lives close that you might have lunch with, invite to your house, and grow to share more with.

Change is most often difficult isn't it? But change is really the only constant in our lives I think.

Imaoldhippie · ‎06-10-2015

Just say no. When she calls with the time and date tell her no thank you I will wait until for a time when it is just the 2 of us.

BE THE PERSON YOUR DOG THINKS YOU ARE! (unknown)

qbetzforreal · ‎08-28-2010

I would make an effort to visit my friend for one-on-one time. I wouldn't mind sharing time if she only comes in town once a month.

ahoymate · ‎05-30-2010

Imaoldhippie:

"Just say no. When she calls with the time and date tell her no thank you I will wait until for a time when it is just the 2 of us."

Oh, that will go over well. My way or the highway is not going to go over in a positive way. Surely, you don't do this to your friends?

chrystaltree · ‎05-10-2010

She's trying to get all of her visiting in at one time but that's selfish of her since you don't know the other people. I'm a big one for honesty when it comes to close family and friends. She must know you well enough to know that you are not a big time socializer who enjoys chatting with strangers. I'd just tell the truth. That you love seeing her when she's in town but you feel a little out of place when she invites people you don't know. Ask if it can be just the two of you, perhaps every other month.

AuntG · ‎03-09-2010

I'm guessing she has limited time and wants to catch up with friends and family. If it needs to be just the two of you to make it important enough for you, just decline her invitation.

BunSnoop · ‎05-22-2010

That's a hard one, but I understand.

I always meet with a friend that I had worked with many years ago once a year for lunch. One year my husband had a bad year with his health (13 hospital admissions in 1 year) and when he found out that I was meeting my friend at one his favorite restaurants, he asked if he could join us. I felt bad for him - he needed to get out and do things rather than just being at a hospital and/or doctors office so I brought him along.

My friend was very nice to him, but I think she was a little uncomfortable in my changing the routine and I think I was wrong in not telling her ahead of time that he'd be joining us too. She's a widow.

I still meet with her, we still meet at the same restaurant, and my husband still asks if he can join. His health is better now, he gets out and see's friends, etc. I have not had him join us anymore as I think my friend just wanted to have "girl talk" with me. As I said she was nice to him, but I think she probably prefers just my coming.