Wellness

[roeroe1005]

@gloriajean,

I'm so sorry about your granddaughters.  I know it's a hard road ahead of the family.

My BIL's sister has 2 autistic boys.  Ryan was not diagnosed until he was about 3 years old.  He is now 19.  Ryan is high functioning, and I think alot has to do with the services he has received through the years, especially at school.  He would not go near anyone but his parents when he was younger.  Now he even hugs me and calls me "Aunt Roe" (not his aunt but I love it).   Danny, the younger son, is a bit more "lost".  He is 15 I think, but still needs to be watched carefully.

Your daughter and SIL will need to be sure that they get the right services for the girls, especially at school.  

I will keep your family in my prayers.  

[hayseed00]

@gloriajean  Sending prayers to your sweet grandbabies  and also for their Mom and Dad for God to give them hope and strength.

[pitdakota]

@gloriajean, so sorry to hear this for you and your daughter's family.  But hopefully many of the stories here by other posters will provide a little ray of sunshine as you all face this situation in your family.

I will also add that a good friend of my daughter has an autistic son.  He is 4 years older than my grandson, but they have been best buds for years.  And this young lad also holds a big place in our family.  He is an absolute delight and just graduated from high school this past May, on time.  His mother will be the first to tell anyone that the resources and assistance from his elementary school teachers were critical for his advancement and success.  She really does credit those early teachers for helping to lay the foundation so that he was educationally successful and did well in school.  So I obviously will second the other posts here about teachers and resources being critical in the early years.

We absolutely adore this young lad. Over the years he has spent quite a bit of time with us.  To this day, both he and my GS love to plan a weekend night to spend overnight here with us.  And we love having him.  This past August my husband had surgery and he actually asked his Mom if it was acceptable to us, that he would like to come stay with us for a couple of days to help to take care of my husband as he was recuperating from surgery. That was fine with us.  I wasn't sure how much he could actually help, but he is absolutely no trouble to have here so it was fine with us.  Well, let me tell you.....he was a fabulous help!  He could anticipate many of the needs DH had even before I did!  LOL!  He spent 4 days and 3 nights with us and I was really sad when he went back home!  

Currently, he has a job working at a local store while they evaluate what their next steps will be.  He is doing well and is thinking about going to college.  There are just no words for how much we adore this young lad and are proud to be his "adopted" grandparents!!  

Knowing his mother, I know one of the first things she would tell you and your family is to "take it one day at a time".  She will talk about when she first received her son's diagnosis and how overwhelmed she was.   A good friend of hers encouraged her to live in the moment and to take it one day at a time.  She always said that she had to work hard to do that, but says it made all of the difference in the world.  And as she would now say...."look at where he is today"!

So cyberhugs to you and your family.  The twins are absolutely adorable and very fortunate to have you all and their parents in their lives! 

[jubilant]

@gloriajean 

Some things are hard to understand but we know that there is purpose in all of this. My prayers for mom and dad, grandma's and grandpa's  and all families involved.  I pray for courage and patience. I pray for wisdom to lead you to the right doctors and teachers. 

Give those sweet little girls  big hugs for me.   I have a girlfriend who has twin boy grandsons who are both autistic. I will be talking with her next week and I will ask if she has any advise to give you.  God be with you all.

[Jersey Born]

I am sorry to hear about your granddaughters @gloriajean , and I hope that whatever therapies are provided to them (from ABA, to OT, to PT, and speech therapy) help them improve to the fullest extent possible.  They will face tremendous prejudice from some of their teachers, some of their therapists, and from the majority of their peers.  This is something that their parents will have to monitor closely.  Many children and adults, including some of those who work with children with autism, have preconceived, negative, and even incorrect misperceptions about children with autism, and it is crucial that your grandchildren be surrounded by caring, supportive individuals who believe your grandchildren will have a positive educational outcome.  Belief that an individual with autism is capable of succeeding at a task or at learning in school is imperative to that individual's success.  

All the best to your family.  It will be a challenging road ahead for sure, but a strong belief in your grandchildren that cognitive, social, and behavioral improvement can and will result over time may be the single most important factor in their achieving their goals toward learning, developing skills, and achieving independence. 

[lolakimono]

@gloriajean 

I know you said they were learning their ABCs.  Are they verbal?  I wonder if they can learn some common signs in ASL to communicate their needs/wants, to help eliminate frustration, especially when they are away from each other and their parents.  There is a site that I use for pictograms for language learning.  Their parents may think about using pictures around the house to help with communication.  

[gloriajean]

lolakimono - yes they can talk, and sing. They put words together with their abc's. But they don't keep a conversation. They let you know what they want. They are good at putting puzzles together. Academitally they are good, but not the motor skills. And have sensitivity disorder, but they can talk, and do that alot.  But now, how to discipline one who is autistic and doesn't understand. Seems like time outs don't work.  

[RetRN]

I am very sorry to read your post. Of course you and your family will be in my thoughts and prayers. 

My BFF has a son with autism and to say it changed their lives forever is an understatement. He will never drive or live on his own. His social skills are greatly diminished, he has been able to stock books in a library and has worked as an usher at a theater. 

I know how much your sweet little girls are loved. Blessings to all. 

[lovesrecess]

I spent many years working with children with autism. Your granddaughters have autism...they are not autistic...don’t let that word define them! They sound beautiful and bright....but early diagnosis and intervention can make a world of positive difference in their lives....and their family’s, so kudos to their parents for seeking answers right away. It can be a gut-punch to hear your child has any issue at all...I have had to deliver such news to parents and I have seen the pain and bewilderment it brings....but the opportunities now are just fantastic for interventions, training for parents as well as the child....much brighter outcomes ahead! Treasure your grandgirls for who they are! They sound wonderful. Never, ever believe anyone who tells you there is something they will not ever be able to do....those who say this are usually wrong!

[gloriajean]

lovesrecess - thank you so much for this post!  So - if they have autism, what is autistic then? Is there a difference?  Yes, Yes! I truly believe that they will come out just fine, with the help they are getting. I'm so glad you posted to me, you are an expert.  I needed to read this.

God bless you!