Tips on dealing with MENOPAUSE and husbands - Page 4

twocent · ‎03-09-2010

On 1/2/2015 Frannie said:
I remember sitting in a restaurant - sweat pouring off of my face and back of my neck - and my darling husband telling me it was my imagination. No they do not get it. A$$holes. How to deal - read 'em the riot act.

You'll find my heart at the Rainbow Bridge.

Gayle2 · ‎07-12-2011

There were several books I read on menopause. That has been years ago but there are 2 things that really stuck with me. When are hormones drop off.....besides the obvious of not being able to have kids ...the other part is that the drop off also equals a lesser ability to "nuture". Many women talk about the anger, impatience etc. but it is so hormone related. The other thing I read was about we perceive injustice differently. We want things to be fair etc and when they are not...watch out. I didn't realize the menopause brings out brain fog. I was forgetful and it did drive my spouse crazy. I finally made him read a book on menopause and he did. I think men only understand the hot flashes part but there is so much more. I would tell you the title of the book but when the brain fog I can't even remember. LOL

Lipstickdiva · ‎03-10-2010

I don't know but I think I'm in it or close to it.

Aunt Flo has been a very sporadic visitor and 1 week ago today, out of the blue, I started to get what I believe to be hot flashes. They are awful.

LolaMontez · ‎12-18-2011

Best tip I can give you is separate bedrooms. Otherwise, it's "on with the covers," "off with the covers," rinse and repeat. This means nobody gets any sleep and both are cranky. Once you get used to it, you don't want to share the bed with them anymore anyway. Sad, but true. Nothing better than your own bed and sleeping with the dogs. Hahahahaha

onlyshopsonline · ‎03-09-2010

OK...here it goes. I'm going to try to make this as short as possible. I'm 56. Had a hysterectomy at 35, but kept my ovaries. However, I did start having some hormonal issues anyway. Then all heII broke loose a few years later and I went into full blown Hashimoto's Disease...autoimmune thyroid disease.

I thought I was losing my mind. "They" kept telling me it was extreme anxiety and it took 8 years to get a diagnosis of thyroid disease. But, the first endocrinologist misdiagnosed me as having hot nodules instead of Hashi. She gave me a radioactive iodine treatment to kill off my thyroid and it took another 8+ years for that thing to die off.

In the meantime, I was flipping between severe depression and severe nervousness and anxiety. One idiot tried to tell me I was bi-polar. Then I found an endocrinologist who saved my life. He did the proper testing, explained what was happening and was my support system until my thyroid died off.

During all of this mess, I went into perimenopause, so it was hard to tell what symptoms were causing what. Then, last summer my meno symptoms went out of control....anxiety, and HORRID hot flashes. I put up with this for a year. We believe, based on a couple of years of FSH testing, that this is when I became post-meno. We also determined that the thyroid had finally died off.

For too many reasons to list, I didn't want HRT. I had a discussion with my gyn. and my endo. and both agreed that Prozac might help, as it is great for PMS symptoms. After one week on my starting dose, 90% of the anxiety and HORRID hot flashes were gone. I occasionally get a warm flush and a little nervousness, but that's it. It's been a miracle for me!

I am a "seasonal" person with my thyroid levels, and they have begun their winter decline and I've had to up my medication. I have body aches and pains, feel a little "down" and am sleeping all day. Come the middle of February, I'll start to bounce back. I will continue with this issue for the rest of my life. But, when I start to feel sorry for myself, all I have to do is think back to the heII I went through for years, and this is no big deal.

This whole journey took a little more than 18 years! To say my husband is patient and understanding is a complete understatement. He's a gem!!!

He also did a lot of reading and has a friend who is a research doctor for the military. His friend couldn't treat me as a patient, but he was a tremendous source of guidance for both my husband and me.

Now I'm in the process of losing the weight I gained over the years, and I'm in physical therapy to restrengthen some of the muscle I lost due to fluctuating thyroid hormone levels and inactivity.

It is because of the support of my husband, his friend, and my endocrinologist, that I survived this whole thing.

"I've been here since October 2006. Wow!"

Mint2 · ‎08-02-2010

On 1/2/2015 tends2dogs said:
On 1/1/2015 Wadzlla said:
Women do not talk about menopause much, except for the hot flashes. The hormones that make you a sensual woman are no longer being produced. Your ability to naturally reproduce is over. The effects of these changes are VERY hard on some women, some breeze through it.

There is not a lot of specific information about menopause. I will be 10 years into menopause in May. Still have hot flashes, intimacy is not the same, but it is better than 5 years ago.

I find it very difficult to accept that my body is no longer young.It makes me embarrassed. I keep fit and look good, but heads no longer turn when I walk into a room. It is hard to navigate not being youthful. There is a fine line between looking good at 60 and looking foolish.

You can't turn back the clock, but you can accept what is, and count your blessings, and love your husband. He still wants you to love him. He is still attracted to YOU. It's not about how you look anymore. Don't forget that. Took me 5-6 years to figure out how important that his attraction to me is. I don't know how long until one of us will be gone, and I am not going to spend my days being miserable or worrying about the past.

Bless you and I hope this made sense.

Beautifully said. You have written my story, except, I take bioidentical hormones and it has helped the intimacy part 100%. Of course, it is not the same as when you are in your 20's. But then again, in many ways it is better.......sweeter.

Your post made perfect sense......at least to me. Thank you.

Thank you so much for writing this. I am one of those women who is having a VERY hard time. I also have thyroid issues to compound the menopause symptoms. I feel like I am literally drying up. Intimacy issues for us right are difficult at best. You mentioning that it has improved for you has given me a small glimmer of hope.

My husband has been very supportive and tries to understand but I know that he just isn't able to put himself in my place.

chickenbutt · ‎03-09-2010

Wow, Shops! What a journey you've had. I'm glad you're on the upslope and you were very fortunate to have such a great husband at your side. Best wishes that only good things happen in your life from now on. Seriously - you deserve it!

BonnieBelle · ‎03-10-2010

On 1/2/2015 EGW said:
There were several books I read on menopause. That has been years ago but there are 2 things that really stuck with me. When are hormones drop off.....besides the obvious of not being able to have kids ...the other part is that the drop off also equals a lesser ability to "nuture". Many women talk about the anger, impatience etc. but it is so hormone related. The other thing I read was about we perceive injustice differently. We want things to be fair etc and when they are not...watch out. I didn't realize the menopause brings out brain fog. I was forgetful and it did drive my spouse crazy. I finally made him read a book on menopause and he did. I think men only understand the hot flashes part but there is so much more. I would tell you the title of the book but when the brain fog I can't even remember. LOL

These are definitely my symptoms. I don't have the physical symptoms of hot flashes, etc., just the mental symptoms. At times, it gets overwhelming, I think I'm going to lose my mind.

depglass · ‎03-10-2010

I have one of those tough guys who can get cuts that require stitches and slap on a bandaid. No point in explaining, I had a rough time getting through to him that there will be no children. I'm not kidding. Second marriage for both of us.

wagirl · ‎03-09-2010

On 1/2/2015 sidsmom said:
My BFF wanted to know what hot flashes felt like...I told him, for me, it's like having a high fever for about 20 minutes. Nothing external, like a fan, ice on the neck or less clothes, will lower the heat until it dissipates naturally.

wagirl: I started taking Prempro 1.5-2 yrs ago since I wasn't getting an ounce of sleep. The detriment of no sleep was outweighed by any other condition. My hormone/cortisol levels were @ their peak of 'wonkiness' (!!) then, but it's getting better now, I'm slowly trying to wean myself from Prempro this year...every 2 weeks reduce a day. Hopefully my sleep won't be affected. Does this sound like a do-able plan?

You know---I can't give you any advice about that. I was taking the lowest possible dose of estrogen and progesterone in 2 tiny pills as my sleep was affected too. I had NO family history of breast cancer. Had a normal mammo in June of 2011 and then April 2012, I found a pretty big lump that turned out to be stage 3a lobular cancer. Had surgery, chemo and radiation. My advice is to take as little as you can for as little time as you can, with sound advice from your dr. My symptoms of menopause were so totally benign compared to others that I should have just toughed it out. I started meno-p at age 45 and by 50 I was over it and at 58 had cancer. And I have been religious about mammos since age 40. Never missed one. Horrible!!!!