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Valued Contributor
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Registered: ‎03-09-2010
On 4/15/2014 magicmoodz said:
On 4/15/2014 curlywhitedog said:

DD and her husband had a destination wedding in Puerto Rico and it was absolutely lovely. It took place in a wonderful resort under a gazebo with the ocean as a backdrop on a beautiful early August afternoon. Nonsense? Not at all, it was the bride and groom's wish (for reasons not important to share here) and, for their circumstances, it made perfect sense. The judgements about destination weddings are personal and I respect those feelings but will stop short of calling those feelings nonsense. Why can't we have a mutual understanding and respect for those who might choose something different for themselves?

Anywho, it was a small and very lovely family affair. We didn't invite those who we knew wouldn't come so as to not place upon them a burden for a gift but in true fashion and generosity, most of those who weren't invited gave gifts later on anyway.

Weddings are for the day, marriages are for the lifetime and in the end, where or how you get married is of little consequence, it's how you live the marriage that counts.

Maria

curly, it sounds as though your daughter had a beautiful and classy destination wedding.

magicmoodz:

Thank you for your kind words, the wedding was indeed both beautiful and classy.

Maria

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Registered: ‎10-16-2010
On 4/15/2014 GoodStuff said:
On 4/15/2014 Dosey said:

Gee, I forgot to answer your question. A summery dress in a lightweight fabric that isn't too long would be perfect. Something cool and breezy. I wouldn't choose a dark fabric because it would be too hot for me. I also wouldn't wear nice shoes on the beach. If any part of the ceremony is moved indoors, have a pair of cute sandals on hand. Otherwise, I would wear flip flops. Don't forget sunglasses.

Bring an umbrella, too. The only beach wedding I ever saw was on the last day of our vacation. It was storming badly. That did not deter the bride. The wedding took place as planned on the beach. Even though they had a tent, the wedding party got soaked, but the guests were lined up in front of the windows watching the ceremony from inside the hotel complete with someone's very vocal complaints and ridicule. I really wanted to tell her to shut up.

The outspoken person who had spent big bucks and taken time off to attend the destination wedding -- only to find herself watching rain-drenched nuptials from inside a hotel -- was probably vocalizing the sincere lamentations of all the longsuffering guests. If you had told her to "shut up" you might have gotten quite an earful.

That's why I did not say a word. However, I do not think the guest should have been insulting the bride for choosing to go forward with the wedding on the beach. For whatever reason, the bride wanted a beach wedding. That is what she got.

Paws and enjoy life.
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I have mixed feelings about "destination" weddings. While they can be really lovely, I agree they can be a burden on guests who would like to attend but just can't afford to spend a lot. It's asking your guests to spend on your wedding what they would for a vacation!

The OP never said that this was a destination wedding but a beach one. Millions live within a reasonable drive to a beach. My best friend's daughter had a beach themed wedding a few years ago at the Jersey shore. It was an afternoon wedding and the ceremony and reception was held at a nice club on the beach. The ceremony was not actually on the beach but next to it in a large patio area overlooking the water. Luckily for her she had perfect weather. The reception was indoors in a banquet room with large windows overlooking the beach. So while it was beach themed, no one had to get sand in their shoes, feet or on their clothes but we could all enjoy the view in comfort and air conditioning.

The ceremony was at 3pm and we were home that evening....all in a day.

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On 4/15/2014 Dosey said:

Bring an umbrella, too. The only beach wedding I ever saw was on the last day of our vacation. It was storming badly.

It hardly ever rains in southern California. You might need that umbrella for shade.

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On 4/15/2014 circles said:

my second son and his soon to be wife decided to have their wedding at Disneyland....

I don't travel.....terrified of planes/trains...well known to the family and friends...I was not told about this arrangement till I was sent an invitation...(strained relationship)

His father and I had been divorced for many years....

I only worked part time...making little more money then to pay my rent and food...I could not afford this trip...even if I could travel....Hotels....food...spending time at Disneyland...etc etc..so I didn't get to see my son get married....

My friend offered to go with me....by car...but I couldn't afford my own expenses much less then hers, too...though I thought it was nice of her to ask...

None of our family or friends live near Disney....so everyone who attended had to pay their own way ...

I feel its selfish and self indulgent to expect people to have to incur such costs...as stevie said for a 15 minute service....

sorry for the rant......

Now this is really unacceptable and very sad! How could your son not have his mother at his own wedding?!! He should have offered you a round trip ticket and hotel accommodations. I understand about your fear of flying but if he offered you a ticket perhaps you might have gone anyway. I don't like to fly either but if I want to see my mother I have to since she's in south Florida and I'm in Pa.

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On 4/15/2014 stevieb said:

Oh good Lord, why don't people just get married and stop all this 'destination' nonsense...?


I can understand if you live NEAR the beach, which we do. They don't. Every family member is going to have to fly to get there, and have the expense of a hotel as well. They have lived together many years and built an incredible house 2 years ago. Her mother was the one who talked him into it. We have a small family, and this nephew is special to us. I know a lot of DH's family, who all live in the same area (we're the ones who don't), will not be able to afford to go. So they're going to have a reception for them when they return.

I wish her mother hadn't talked him into this. The funny thing is - they don't even like the beach! They came on vacation with us one year and spent a total of about one hour a day on the sand. We're out there all day and into the evening, every day! They could have been married at their home and spent their honeymoon there!

We still haven't decided what to do. The kids want us to go because of him, and I'd like to also, but it will be a big expense for all of us. **SIGH**

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On 4/15/2014 ennui1 said:
On 4/15/2014 Dosey said:

Bring an umbrella, too. The only beach wedding I ever saw was on the last day of our vacation. It was storming badly.

It hardly ever rains in southern California. You might need that umbrella for shade.

Great idea! A pretty umbrella that coordinates with the dress.

Paws and enjoy life.
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On 4/15/2014 beach-mom said:
On 4/15/2014 stevieb said:

Oh good Lord, why don't people just get married and stop all this 'destination' nonsense...?


I can understand if you live NEAR the beach, which we do. They don't. Every family member is going to have to fly to get there, and have the expense of a hotel as well. They have lived together many years and built an incredible house 2 years ago. Her mother was the one who talked him into it. We have a small family, and this nephew is special to us. I know a lot of DH's family, who all live in the same area (we're the ones who don't), will not be able to afford to go. So they're going to have a reception for them when they return.

I wish her mother hadn't talked him into this. The funny thing is - they don't even like the beach! They came on vacation with us one year and spent a total of about one hour a day on the sand. We're out there all day and into the evening, every day! They could have been married at their home and spent their honeymoon there!

We still haven't decided what to do. The kids want us to go because of him, and I'd like to also, but it will be a big expense for all of us. **SIGH**

If it will deprive your family of time off together or a trip you would like to make, or be a financial burden, don't go. Don't give it a second thought.

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I just wanted to know what would be appropriate to wear to a beach wedding!

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On 4/15/2014 curlywhitedog said:

DD and her husband had a destination wedding in Puerto Rico and it was absolutely lovely. It took place in a wonderful resort under a gazebo with the ocean as a backdrop on a beautiful early August afternoon. Nonsense? Not at all, it was the bride and groom's wish (for reasons not important to share here) and, for their circumstances, it made perfect sense. The judgements about destination weddings are personal and I respect those feelings but will stop short of calling those feelings nonsense. Why can't we have a mutual understanding and respect for those who might choose something different for themselves?

Anywho, it was a small and very lovely family affair. We didn't invite those who we knew wouldn't come so as to not place upon them a burden for a gift but in true fashion and generosity, most of those who weren't invited gave gifts later on anyway.

Weddings are for the day, marriages are for the lifetime and in the end, where or how you get married is of little consequence, it's how you live the marriage that counts.

Maria

I think that's more or less the point...

Glad your daughter's wedding met all expectations. It sounds lovely and as though it was primarily for them rather than a cast of thousands, and that's a whole different kettle of fish...


In my pantry with my cupcakes...