Fashion

[goodstuff]

Destination weddings: Dramatic and pretty, but totally self-centered and inconsiderate unless the wedding family plans to foot the bill for all the attendees! My daughter, who is on a tight budget, just returned from a close college friend's wedding held on a cruise! I'm sure it was beautiful and fun, but could my daughter really afford to be a part of that event? The answer is NO. People who want to get married in far-away scenic places should just do it quietly on their own.

[curlywhitedog]

DD and her husband had a destination wedding in Puerto Rico and it was absolutely lovely. It took place in a wonderful resort under a gazebo with the ocean as a backdrop on a beautiful early August afternoon. Nonsense? Not at all, it was the bride and groom's wish (for reasons not important to share here) and, for their circumstances, it made perfect sense. The judgements about destination weddings are personal and I respect those feelings but will stop short of calling those feelings nonsense. Why can't we have a mutual understanding and respect for those who might choose something different for themselves?

Anywho, it was a small and very lovely family affair. We didn't invite those who we knew wouldn't come so as to not place upon them a burden for a gift but in true fashion and generosity, most of those who weren't invited gave gifts later on anyway.

Weddings are for the day, marriages are for the lifetime and in the end, where or how you get married is of little consequence, it's how you live the marriage that counts.

Maria

[DukeBlueNan]

Lola, are you a stylist? You always have the best suggestions and I really appreciate them. As you can tell I'm fairly new to this gig and hope you don't mind my question.

[magicmoodz]

On 4/15/2014 curlywhitedog said:

DD and her husband had a destination wedding in Puerto Rico and it was absolutely lovely. It took place in a wonderful resort under a gazebo with the ocean as a backdrop on a beautiful early August afternoon. Nonsense? Not at all, it was the bride and groom's wish (for reasons not important to share here) and, for their circumstances, it made perfect sense. The judgements about destination weddings are personal and I respect those feelings but will stop short of calling those feelings nonsense. Why can't we have a mutual understanding and respect for those who might choose something different for themselves?

Anywho, it was a small and very lovely family affair. We didn't invite those who we knew wouldn't come so as to not place upon them a burden for a gift but in true fashion and generosity, most of those who weren't invited gave gifts later on anyway.

Weddings are for the day, marriages are for the lifetime and in the end, where or how you get married is of little consequence, it's how you live the marriage that counts.

Maria

curly, it sounds as though your daughter had a beautiful and classy destination wedding.

[lolakimono]

On 4/15/2014 Jazzgrl said: Lola, are you a stylist? You always have the best suggestions and I really appreciate them. As you can tell I'm fairly new to this gig and hope you don't mind my question.

Nope- I'm a MS teacher.

I like to help, if I remember seeing things online or if I have time. It's my spring break now, so I have more free time than usual.

[circles]

my second son and his soon to be wife decided to have their wedding at Disneyland....

I don't travel.....terrified of planes/trains...well known to the family and friends...I was not told about this arrangement till I was sent an invitation...(strained relationship)

His father and I had been divorced for many years....

I only worked part time...making little more money then to pay my rent and food...I could not afford this trip...even if I could travel....Hotels....food...spending time at Disneyland...etc etc..so I didn't get to see my son get married....

My friend offered to go with me....by car...but I couldn't afford my own expenses much less then hers, too...though I thought it was nice of her to ask...

None of our family or friends live near Disney....so everyone who attended had to pay their own way ...

I feel its selfish and self indulgent to expect people to have to incur such costs...as stevie said for a 15 minute service....

sorry for the rant......

[dosey]

On 4/15/2014 stevieb said:

Oh good Lord, why don't people just get married and stop all this 'destination' nonsense...?

I know a woman (a business acquaintance) who had a destination wedding in the Bahamas. She was very angry that only a few people were going to attend. Hmmm. I wonder why??? When she and her husband returned home, they decided to have a big reception locally. At the reception, they placed cameras on each table with a note asking guests to take pictures, develop the film, put the pictures in albums, and give the albums to her. Again, she was angry because the guests took pictures, but they left the cameras on the tables. This is a woman whose father bought a business for her which she decided to close because it was too much work.

[goodstuff]

On 4/15/2014 circles said:

my second son and his soon to be wife decided to have their wedding at Disneyland....

I don't travel.....terrified of planes/trains...well known to the family and friends...I was not told about this arrangement till I was sent an invitation...(strained relationship)

His father and I had been divorced for many years....

I only worked part time...making little more money then to pay my rent and food...I could not afford this trip...even if I could travel....Hotels....food...spending time at Disneyland...etc etc..so I didn't get to see my son get married....

My friend offered to go with me....by car...but I couldn't afford my own expenses much less then hers, too...though I thought it was nice of her to ask...

None of our family or friends live near Disney....so everyone who attended had to pay their own way ...

I feel its selfish and self indulgent to expect people to have to incur such costs...as stevie said for a 15 minute service....

sorry for the rant......

Yep. Selfish, self-indulgent, inconsiderate..........and that's just for starters. Any bridal couple who thinks their friends and relatives will be delighted with having to spend hundreds/thousands of dollars for long distance travel, food, hotel, etc. to attend their destination wedding is clueless. There may be a few folks with fat wallets who won't mind the time, trouble, and expense.......but most people either won't attend or will fervently wish you had decided to have a less grand affair in your home town.

[dosey]

Gee, I forgot to answer your question. A summery dress in a lightweight fabric that isn't too long would be perfect. Something cool and breezy. I wouldn't choose a dark fabric because it would be too hot for me. I also wouldn't wear nice shoes on the beach. If any part of the ceremony is moved indoors, have a pair of cute sandals on hand. Otherwise, I would wear flip flops. Don't forget sunglasses.

Bring an umbrella, too. The only beach wedding I ever saw was on the last day of our vacation. It was storming badly. That did not deter the bride. The wedding took place as planned on the beach. Even though they had a tent, the wedding party got soaked, but the guests were lined up in front of the windows watching the ceremony from inside the hotel complete with someone's very vocal complaints and ridicule. I really wanted to tell her to shut up.

[goodstuff]

On 4/15/2014 Dosey said:

Gee, I forgot to answer your question. A summery dress in a lightweight fabric that isn't too long would be perfect. Something cool and breezy. I wouldn't choose a dark fabric because it would be too hot for me. I also wouldn't wear nice shoes on the beach. If any part of the ceremony is moved indoors, have a pair of cute sandals on hand. Otherwise, I would wear flip flops. Don't forget sunglasses.

Bring an umbrella, too. The only beach wedding I ever saw was on the last day of our vacation. It was storming badly. That did not deter the bride. The wedding took place as planned on the beach. Even though they had a tent, the wedding party got soaked, but the guests were lined up in front of the windows watching the ceremony from inside the hotel complete with someone's very vocal complaints and ridicule. I really wanted to tell her to shut up.

The outspoken person who had spent big bucks and taken time off to attend the destination wedding -- only to find herself watching rain-drenched nuptials from inside a hotel -- was probably vocalizing the sincere lamentations of all the longsuffering guests. If you had told her to "shut up" you might have gotten quite an earful.