"Save the Date" announcements, and what they mean

Mominohio · ‎08-08-2010

Several months ago, we received a 'save the date' announcement about a wedding this month. It was one of those picture type cards that people have made up for graduations, weddings, showers etc. at places like Walmart. It contained pictures of the couple and the date of the upcoming wedding, with 'Save the Date' in the center.

It had no venue or time listed.

Well, the date is fast approaching and we have received no invitation.

My question is, because this 'save the date' thing is rather new to me, are those now considered the invitation to an event?

I was under the impression, because only a date was given, not a location or time, that an actual invitation of some kind would follow.

I have no issue with being invited or not. These are from some friends/neighbors who's son is to be married. The family and the event were to be very casual, so I wasn't expecting a formal engraved invitation, but something, even an email, with updates.

They are casual friends, not very close to us, and we would be sending/bringing a card and money, invited or not, so this post isn't anything about being snubbed, being hurt, asking if we are obligated to gift etc. I have no problem one way or the other about being invited, and my gift would be the same either way.

What I am trying to do, is find out if in today's practices, are these 'save the date' announcements considered an invite? Is the recipient supposed to contact the sender for more information (there was no rsvp info or request).

My husband said he'd just stop by the parent's house and ask. I said not to, as during the planning, they may have discovered they had more people than funds for the event, and trimmed the list. It may have been an oversight, and I certainly wouldn't want to make anyone uncomfortable. To me, it would kind of be like inviting yourself. Like I mentioned, we will be gifting anyway.

I'm just looking for what the standards are today with these 'new to me' kind of invites.

Plaid Pants2 · ‎03-14-2015

I'll be the first to say it, it sounds like another way to do a "gift grab".

hoosieroriginal · ‎03-04-2012

Sorry, but a "save the date" card would do nothing for me - I would plan my life as usual - I think it's rude. It's like "we think we might get married on that date, hold it just in case".

bri20 · ‎03-10-2016

"save the date" announcements are not an invitation. It's just telling you that an event is on such and such a date.

Could it be that the wedding was called off or postponed?

Preds · ‎12-17-2012

The Save the Date is just a "heads up" that you may recieve an invitation. I think they are a waste of time and money, but they are part of the package now. My DD sent hers out several months in advance for people who will need to travel or take time off to prepare for the wedding. Her invitations went out last week. Her wedding is in July.

Fate whispers to her, "You cannot withstand the storm." She whispers back, "I am the storm."

beckyb1012 · ‎03-09-2010

The ones I have received in the last few years are just that, to save the date for the wedding. Usually get the card many months before the wedding since most are big blow out type weddings. The actual invite with reception info., and all the glitter comes a few weeks before the big day with the RSVP card included.

So far the save the date cards have photos on the front and back of the happy couple and the web site listed to read how the engagement (photos included of one groom on his knees at the restaurant), how they met, and members of wedding/house party names. Some web sites have been like books others have been just a couple of pages.

"Live frugally, but love extravagantly."

Silver Fox1 · ‎08-14-2015

A "save the date" is not an invitation. You said it the grooms parents you know, sounds to me that the grooms parents wanted you invitied and the bride and her parents, who send out the invitations didn't invite you. I would let my husband stop by and ask, I'm sure they have no idea you haven't been invitied. Were you don't care one way or another weather you go at least it will let them know you haven't snubbed them.

itsmagic · ‎08-08-2011

I've received a few of those "save the date" cards and they were kind of a pre-invite but not the actual invitation. Personally I would ask your neighbors - I think that's the only way you could know for sure. You could always give them an "out" by saying you understand if circumstances have changed.

Mominohio · ‎08-08-2010

@Beachy1 wrote:
"save the date" announcements are not an invitation. It's just telling you that an event is on such and such a date.

Could it be that the wedding was called off or postponed?

That is possible. We aren't that close to these people, and the kids both just got nursing degrees and jobs, so there is a lot going on in their lives, and that is possible.