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Respected Contributor
Posts: 3,181
Registered: ‎04-04-2015

@Goodie2shoes wrote:

I think she thought at their age of 65  he would be ready to settle down and not play games. They traveled, her family loved him and they seemed meant for each other. 


I wonder if it had to do with finances - and inheritances for the kids.  That can be tricky at that age.

 

I had a friend who was a widow and married a widower.  She sold her house and moved into his.  The "agreement" was that the money from her house was hers - and her kids' inheritance and that his house would go to his kids.  Of course, she didn't contemplate his dying before her.  She then expected to be able to live in the house for the rest of her life.  However, his kids had different ideas  - gave her a year and then sold the house.

 

Needless to say there were extremely hard feelings all around.

Honored Contributor
Posts: 12,514
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

She needs time to heal,and understand that this relationship for him ,was a convenience, not a love , i will be there for you.

When you lose some one you L~O~V~E, that Memory of them, becomes a TREASURE.
Honored Contributor
Posts: 16,986
Registered: ‎10-04-2010

@Goodie2shoes   know you didn't ask for anyone's point of view, so I think you're doing what you can for your friend.  Hope she heals in due time.

Respected Contributor
Posts: 3,140
Registered: ‎04-23-2010

 

I highly doubt that she was blindsided. 

“The soul is healed by being with children.”
— Fyodor Dostoyevsky
Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 7,493
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Every one is blaming the guy, she needs to take some responsibility for letting it go on for 4 years before saying something. 

Valued Contributor
Posts: 975
Registered: ‎06-20-2015

geese wisdom.jpg

Honored Contributor
Posts: 8,170
Registered: ‎11-24-2013

@Goodie2shoes IMO he wasn't "playing games." People say that when something doesn't turn out the way they want/hope.

 

He was happy with things as they were. That's NOT playing games. It's living life the way a person wants to.

Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 5,520
Registered: ‎03-30-2014

Too bad your friend found her aims didn't match his.  I would not say he was gaming her though.  I know couples who choose to keep their own homes.  

She just needs time.

Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 5,908
Registered: ‎05-18-2017

@Goodie2shoes  - Maybe he met someone.

Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 7,290
Registered: ‎10-01-2013

I am sorry to hear about your friend. It is kind of sad that the topic didn't come up sooner. It may have helped her to understand what he was looking for in a relationship and she could have decided to stay or leave.