Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 5,883
Registered: ‎03-20-2010

Have to wonder if some here are aware of these type of registries.  They are just like any other wedding/shower registry.  They are not simple requests for money.  The couple picks specific activities they would like to do on their honeymoon, often already reserving the time.  Destination places will often help them build the package and keep track of what is pay for ahead of time.  You can then gift them to the couple just as you would a place setting of china. It is not about paying for a vacation they cannot afford.


Just like any other registry you can choose a gift from there or not.  If you are going to give a gift as other have said I would pay for it about a month ahead of time then just enjoy the wedding.

Someday, when scientists discover the center of the Universe....some people will be disappointed it is not them.
Respected Contributor
Posts: 2,180
Registered: ‎05-05-2010

I personally like the idea, in lieu of pulling up a gift registry at the store and picking something from the list, then having it shipped or bringing it to the wedding.  It goes against "tradition", so it will be met with some side-eye.  But, I'm all for making it convenient and giving the couple something they actually want.

Valued Contributor
Posts: 508
Registered: ‎10-15-2011

I have to add my two cents here. My daughter recently married a wonderful young man from South Africa. (She lives and works there). They came back to the states for a visit and we had a reception for them in our town. We had questions from relatives as to the best way to give a gift. Because of the difficulties in transferring money internationally, mailing a gift/card to South Africa, or just transporting physical gifts back to the country, they asked that people use a plan on their wedding website to give them a monetary gift. (They also said that they valued their guests "presence more than a present", and really did not expect a gift.). We also set up a joint bank account (Wells Fargo) so that any checks given on or after the date could be endorsed by me, and deposited to the account. We had to consider the practicalities, and acted accordingly. It was not a money grab--we were trying to make things run as smooth as possible for all. Please don't judge a couple because they don't do things the "traditional" way. Wedding websites, unusual requests, and deposit accounts are sometimes the only way to handle a sensitive situation with grace.

Honored Contributor
Posts: 17,073
Registered: ‎06-17-2015

I suppose this is the same as being registered at a store(s) where the guests choose from a wish list.  It is really the same thing-asking to buy something still requires cash.


It's just seems to be the "thing" nowadays-the honeymoon gift.


I would send the check at least a month in advance.


I do wonder how many guests will do this, though, and still buy an Insta-Pot instead.


I do find it a tad tacky, though.  Years ago asking for $$ was a big no-no.

""I speak for the trees for the trees have no tongues."-The Lorax
Respected Contributor
Posts: 2,115
Registered: ‎03-02-2016

Telling guests what to give for a wedding gift is a No No. Tacky.  Asking for money outright is as another poster said just a money grab.  Ugh.  If you must succumb to their demands, write a check and bring it to the wedding and put it in the card well.   smh

Honored Contributor
Posts: 29,758
Registered: ‎05-10-2010

I have heard of requests for cash gifts,  I think it's tacky and greedy but I'd rather give those couples money than a present that they don't want and that will gather dust in a basment or be re-gifted.  I don't want to waste my money.  But this type of request is a new one for me.  I can only speak for myself.  I'd give they money when I chose to give the money.  I would give no thought whatsoever to when it would be convenient for them to receive.  They can always refund me my money if they get it too late.   We all know THAT isn't going to happen....LOL

Respected Contributor
Posts: 3,954
Registered: ‎03-19-2010

Things are different now then years ago and I have adjusted and go with the flow.  Our standard wedding gift now is a check, which I take to the reception or mail early if not attending.


I don't care what the couple uses it for, ie., towards house, honeymoon or car.  All I hope for is their happiness and a thank you note.


Honored Contributor
Posts: 14,052
Registered: ‎11-03-2018

I agree - I'd rather give them money than a nick nack that's going to be given away or collect dust somewhere.



Respected Contributor
Posts: 3,629
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Tacky and greedy - it's the new normal.


But to answer your question - I'd just give them a check at the reception as usual.


No need to stoop to their level.

Respected Contributor
Posts: 2,187
Registered: ‎03-13-2010

I see no problem with the concept of this - but think it's tacky when an invite outright states/requests money only. 


For years I've bought a gift from the registry for the shower and given a card/check in it for the wedding.  It's hard to buy gifts for couples these days bc most weddings I've attended the couple has been living together for years and have already combined households and have everything they need.