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Honored Contributor
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Registered: ‎03-09-2010

For some reason people on this board seem to not understand that the point of giving a wedding gift is to help the couple get started in life. It is a wish for the very best for them. A wedding gift can be given to any one you want to give good wishes to. 

The reason for a wedding gift is NOT to cover the cost of the wedding.That is a load of krap.

Respected Contributor
Posts: 2,308
Registered: ‎06-15-2016

First, you can do anything you want! But, If you are asking if you should gift your former trainer, I'd say it depends on how close you were, and if you've kept in close touch. If not so much, then I'd say a card with personal sentiments written inside would suffice. If you have a socialized a little, then send a small, token of thought for their happiness, like a cute sign similar to "Always kiss me goodnight" , one that might have special meaning for the newlyweds! His and Hers coffee mugs with a pound of DD coffee is also thoughtful. If you are still very close, gift away! Weddings today are quite expensive and often, if one has a large family, many good, close friends must be left off the guest list, only due to financial constraints! 

Never underestimate the power of kindness.
Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 6,889
Registered: ‎03-13-2010

A gift is a gesture, and shouldn't be contingent on an invitation. IMO one really has nothing to do with the other.

 

If someone wants to give a gift to anyone for any reason, then they should!  

Honored Contributor
Posts: 13,913
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

@151949 wrote:

For some reason people on this board seem to not understand that the point of giving a wedding gift is to help the couple get started in life. It is a wish for the very best for them. A wedding gift can be given to any one you want to give good wishes to. 

The reason for a wedding gift is NOT to cover the cost of the wedding.That is a load of krap.


 

 

Why would I give a gift to someone I do not know just because they are getting married? If I want to give money, it will go to my favorite charities.

 

Ever hear the newly weds beech about getting 2 of the same gift? I have, and more than 1 time. We had a small wedding and got no gifts. Why? Mainly because very few knew we were getting married.

 

Every wedding is not the 1st for many couples, nor is it to "help the couple get started in life". Our marriage specifically, was not a couple getting started in life. In this era in time, many marriages are similar to my wife and myself becoming wife and husband, and the 1st marriage for both of us, just later in our lives when we "had found ourselves and knew who we were/are.

 

 

 

hckynut(john/

hckynut(john)
Respected Contributor
Posts: 4,446
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

If you want to give this couple a wedding gift, it really doesn't matter whether you were invited to the wedding or not, you give someone a gift because you're thinking of them and want to give them something, no matter what the reason.  That's why it's called "a gift".  I've given many gifts to couples getting married when I wasn't invited to the wedding because I wanted to.  The daughter of a friend of mine is getting married and I've never met her daughter but  I am giving her a wedding gift, nothing grand, but something thoughtful because I think the world of her mother.  

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Posts: 3,369
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

There is no right or wrong in this. Just do what your heart tells you to. Nobody else's opinion matters.


'I refuse to engage in a battle of wits with an unarmed man'.......Unknown
Honored Contributor
Posts: 11,110
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

I am sure you would acknowledge and express congrats. to your favorite cashier/teller or other such person you see on a semi regular basis, so why not send a heartfelt card to someone even closer to you than that.  It would be sweet and touching. 

"Live frugally, but love extravagantly."
Honored Contributor
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Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: Wedding Gift Question

[ Edited ]

@hckynutWhen my husband & I got married I was 34 years old and a widow - he was 38 - we were not youngsters starting out but we were starting our new life together. We had a very small wedding (20 guests who were close family/friends). We sent  announcements out to notify everyone we knew of our marriage and to give out our new address and phone number. Many of those folks we sent announcements to sent us a wedding gift, which is what I have done on those occasions when I have received a marriage announcement. Whether or not there is a large wedding people are starting out in a new life together and it is a nice thing to wish them well and send them something nice so they have a few new things for their new home together. Not everyone wants to - can afford to - or feels comfortable having a large wedding but that doesn't mean that their friends and co workers or anyone who wants to can't wish them well and give them a gift - also not ALL wedding gifts are $$$ - some are actually a nice present , a momento they may cherish for years to come.

Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 6,889
Registered: ‎03-13-2010

@Hayfield wrote:

If you want to give this couple a wedding gift, it really doesn't matter whether you were invited to the wedding or not, you give someone a gift because you're thinking of them and want to give them something, no matter what the reason.  That's why it's called "a gift".  I've given many gifts to couples getting married when I wasn't invited to the wedding because I wanted to.  The daughter of a friend of mine is getting married and I've never met her daughter but  I am giving her a wedding gift, nothing grand, but something thoughtful because I think the world of her mother.  


 

Exactly!  I agree with you completely.

Honored Contributor
Posts: 20,019
Registered: ‎08-08-2010

One never needs to be invited to any event (wedding, birthday, anniversary, baby shower, wedding shower, graduation etc.) as a prerequisite for giving a gift.

 

It is nice if invited to do so, but simply because one won't be attending the event, in no way precludes one from congratulating or gifting the person(s) having the event.

 

I think it is very nice to gift to someone regardless of the status of the invite.