@mistriTsquirrel wrote:
@Mominohio wrote:
@SeaMaiden wrote:
It just seems like more and more the criminal is getting more rights than the victims anymore.....due to political correctness or whatever.....soon, drug dealers will be called business entrepreneurs.....
I found this quote and it says it says exactly how I feel about referring to ex convicts as felons:
“It helps people make important decisions about hiring, about renting, about associating with people who have shown a proclivity to break the law,” he said. “Shame is not a bad thing. It’s helped civilization rise. And people who cannot be trusted, who have committed violent crimes in the past, there’s nothing wrong with calling them exactly what they are – and that is felons.”
@SeaMaiden
The highlighted sentence above is no longer politically correct, or seen as a proper tool in raising children. And it is one major reason why we are where we are today.
People used to have some shame. You were raised to understand what it was, to feel it at some point (usually when your parents pointed out bad behavior and taught you to be ashamed of it) when you did wrong or made bad decisions, and was a valuable tool in learning right from wrong.
I just finished raising a son (now 20) and so many parents today would never shame a child or allow them to feel it. I always believed ( and still do) that the best way to learn things is to experience them. At some point we got away from holding people responsible for their actions, and away from pride in themselves and their good deeds/actions, and shame in their bad ones.
@Mominohio
I'm not sure that shame--in and of itself--is necessarily the best way to do things. I think there's a way to punish people by saying, "this is what you did that's unacceptable, and this is the consequence."
Shame may be a byproduct of that, but you aren't calling the person worthless when you're doing that. A child needs to know that an action won't be tolerated, but if/when you make him feel like a piece of garbage, he will begin to feel hopeless and like nothing he does--good or bad--matters. That's a problem.
These things need to be approached in a more rational manner, not a manner based on emotions. When the person associates a bad behavior with a bad consequence, but does not see himself as a waste of a life just because he did something bad, he is more likely to see a reason to redeem himself. If he thinks he's just garbage and having constructive goals and aspirations is a hopeless pipe dream, he has no incentive to stop the bad behavior.
See, this is exactly what is wrong with society. No one said that if you have shamed yourself, that you are worthless or a piece of garbage.. That is just a bunch of bunk, and has nothing to do with shame.
And people need to understand emotions. Their actions have emotional consequences on others, and making them understand and feel that is necessary for changing bad behaviors.
Doing something that you are/should be ashamed of doesn't make you a waste of life, at least not initially. But people who know no shame can indeed become all of those negative things you listed. Understanding shame and feeling it, just might prevent that from happening.
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