Community Chat

[CrazyDaisy]

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@wishmoon wrote:

I think "Victimhood" is more of a "thing" today because ppl refuse to take personal responsibility for their actions resulting in blaming others. I, too, dislike this in ppl and steer clear of their drama.

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It goes beyond personal responsibility.  A couple of the articles talk about whole groups of people who are deemed as the victims and how society reacts. 

[esmerelda]

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@dex wrote:

I have a friend who is the nicest person and does so much for others but then she complains about it to the rest of us.She says people take advantage of her...is she a complainer?I can’t figure her out.I always say do want you enjoy doing and say no once in awhile if you are feeling overwhelmed.Other friends say she likes to be a victim.

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@dex She’s a martyr. Equally unpleasant to be around. 

[dex]

@cherry @I hope you post about how wonderful your families tong term experiences have been.That the restaurant is clean and the people and food are enjoyable.

[dex]

@esmerelda @Yes I think you are right...now I understand.

[SilleeMee]

To me martyrs are victims by choice.

[Sooner]

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@CrazyDaisy wrote:

I have a new neighbor who I consider a "professional victim".  Everyone else is wrong. everyone should help her and very negative, so I tend to avoid her.  While looking a reviews of a local place her name came up with a post of a very negative review.  The owner responded with an offer of a free meal to make up for it.  Well courisity took over and I looked at other reviews she has posted.  Saw the same pattern with many other businesses. 

I googled professional victim and was amazed at all the information and studies concerning this matter.  It was interesting some of the reasons how and why people act that way.  Some want the sympathy and attention, others look for material gaines and others to justify their situation because of some wrong they feel has been done to them. 

After reading some of the articles you have to start to feel sorry for these people, in most cases they are doing this to themselves.  However it does explain a lot of how our society has evolved recently.

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@CrazyDaisy Yep.  They get people to feel sorry for them for some "injustice" whether real, imagined or simply made up to get something.  There is an awful lot of that going on today and people fall for it. 

[Grouchomarx]

Ugh I used to have a neighbor like this.  She drove me nuts. It was one sob story after another. And she never cared a lick about anything happening in my life. She always needed something or other, always knocking on my door at inopportune times. She was an attention hog. I would have paid her much more attention if she could have been pleasant for once.  

[Cats3000]

Yes, there is "victimhood" and there are "victimologists".  It's much too political a discussion for this place.

[CrazyDaisy]

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@Cats3000 wrote:

Yes, there is "victimhood" and there are "victimologists".  It's much too political a discussion for this place.

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While there can be political connotation, it is much more an issue with society in general and how we view eachother.

[BlueFinch]

@CrazyDaisy I think those who continually view themselves as victims are emotionally wounded individuals.  They're trying to control things externally to deflect from their own emotional instability and feelings of inferiority.  

They use projection and scapegoating of others and for a moment feel better in seeing others as inferior. They thrive on such secondary gain.  

The best advice is to redirect their negativity.  If unsuccessful, avoid.  The worst of these individuals can only be helped with professional counseling, if then. Too many fall into the web of trying to help, or rescue these folks, only sinking into their toxin, themselves.