Community Chat

[SandySparkles]

This thread resonates with so many of us. I have a very close family member  that "practices" victimhood daily. It has taken me years to understand that the negative behaviors associated with it, were modeled for her by her caregivers( mother, grandmother etc) during her CRUCIAL formative years. Some people are just unable to escape their circumstances. Now, instead of judging, I try to understand and when I cannot, I pray for her.

~~~All we need is LOVE💖

[suzyQ3]

Okay, I was reticent to open this thread based on the header. I thought maybe it would be another one of those Nobody Takes Responsibility Anymore/Everybody Acts As If They're Owed Something thread.

So I was pleased to see that the opening post was about a particular  complainer who writes many negative reviews.

But bam, of course the thread immediately morphed into the sanctimonious territory that I feared. Yeah, yeah, everybody is litigious, too many expect too much, nobody takes responsibility, blah-blah.

I've read these refrains in countless threads when someone has allegedly been hurt in some way. I've read them in threads in which posters decry those depend upon anything or anyone outside themselves for help.

Of course we bear responsibility for our actions. But until you've walked in others' shoes, until YOU have been aggrieved or suffered in some way or not had a perfect life, maybe a little compassion and empathy is order.

[JJsMom]

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@suzyQ3 wrote:

But bam, of course the thread immediately morphed into the sanctimonious territory that I feared.

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I often find that those who scream the loudest about others playing the victim are often the most whiny and demanding people I know. I'm not saying this about the OP. It's just a general observation from personal experience and even some posters on this board. ;-)

[CrazyDaisy]

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@suzyQ3 wrote:

Okay, I was reticent to open this thread based on the header. I thought maybe it would be another one of those Nobody Takes Responsibility Anymore/Everybody As If They're Owed Something thread.

So I was pleased to see that the opening post was about a particular  complainer who writes many negative reviews.

But bam, of course the thread immediately morphed into the sanctimonious territory that I feared. Yeah, yeah, everybody is litigious, too many expect too much, nobody takes responsibility, blah-blah.

I've read these refrains in countless threads when someone has allegedly been hurt in some way. I've read them in threads in which posters decry those depend upon anything or anyone outside themselves for help.

Of course we bear responsibility for our actions. But until you've walked in others' shoes, until YOU have been aggrieved or suffered in some way or not had a perfect life, maybe a little compassion and empathy is order.

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The discussion was not designed to be about individuals, compassion or empathy rather how society has become a culture of victims.  I have tried many times to bring it back to that, however like yourself no one is going in that direction.

[JJsMom]

Back to the OT, I don't necessarily view your neighbor's behavior as playing the victim. She just seems like a negative, critical witch who is never happy.

Those who like to play the victim are quite often very nice on the surface. That's how they get away with it for so long.

[suzyQ3]

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@CrazyDaisy wrote:

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@suzyQ3 wrote:

Okay, I was reticent to open this thread based on the header. I thought maybe it would be another one of those Nobody Takes Responsibility Anymore/Everybody As If They're Owed Something thread.

So I was pleased to see that the opening post was about a particular  complainer who writes many negative reviews.

But bam, of course the thread immediately morphed into the sanctimonious territory that I feared. Yeah, yeah, everybody is litigious, too many expect too much, nobody takes responsibility, blah-blah.

I've read these refrains in countless threads when someone has allegedly been hurt in some way. I've read them in threads in which posters decry those depend upon anything or anyone outside themselves for help.

Of course we bear responsibility for our actions. But until you've walked in others' shoes, until YOU have been aggrieved or suffered in some way or not had a perfect life, maybe a little compassion and empathy is order.

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The discussion was not designed to be about individuals, compassion or empathy rather how society has become a culture of victims.  I have tried many times to bring it back to that, however like yourself no one is going in that direction.

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Well, then, @CrazyDaisy , I was misled. I would not likely have opened yet another thread about "how society has become of a culture of victims" because I take great exception to that view.

That view is a thinly veiled attack on accusers, people who have been wronged, opponents in just about any arena, and citizens who need help.

[CrazyDaisy]

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@suzyQ3 wrote:

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@CrazyDaisy wrote:

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@suzyQ3 wrote:

Okay, I was reticent to open this thread based on the header. I thought maybe it would be another one of those Nobody Takes Responsibility Anymore/Everybody As If They're Owed Something thread.

So I was pleased to see that the opening post was about a particular  complainer who writes many negative reviews.

But bam, of course the thread immediately morphed into the sanctimonious territory that I feared. Yeah, yeah, everybody is litigious, too many expect too much, nobody takes responsibility, blah-blah.

I've read these refrains in countless threads when someone has allegedly been hurt in some way. I've read them in threads in which posters decry those depend upon anything or anyone outside themselves for help.

Of course we bear responsibility for our actions. But until you've walked in others' shoes, until YOU have been aggrieved or suffered in some way or not had a perfect life, maybe a little compassion and empathy is order.

---

The discussion was not designed to be about individuals, compassion or empathy rather how society has become a culture of victims.  I have tried many times to bring it back to that, however like yourself no one is going in that direction.

---

Well, then, @CrazyDaisy , I was misled. I would not likely have opened yet another thread about "how society has become of a culture of victims" because I take great exception to that view.

That view is a thinly veiled attack on accusers, people who have been wronged, opponents in just about any arena, and citizens who need help.

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No that is not what it is about, but thats ok.  Done trying to have a civil discussion.

[JJsMom]

I thought the exchange was civil, but what do I know?

I think your comment, "However it does explain a lot of how our society has evolved recently," invited the ensuing comments.

[bathina]

My opinion only, this is not about individual perpetual martyrs, it is at its core about groups of historically oppressed peoples wanting equality and justice. Those are the people to whom "victimhood" applies in the original intent of the thread. Otherwise, why the comment about society? We've had martyrs and indefatigable whiners forever. But it is only recently that blacks, muslims, LGBTQ and others have begun to demand equality.

[Porcelain]

Sounds like some of you guys have really been victimized by this whole Victimhood thing, where people see themselves as victims. I feel bad for you since you feel victimized by this, but you suggest that I should avoid you because you have been victimized. Not sure how to react.