Community Chat

[Kachina624]

I had the same feeling about the house my parents bought for their retirement.  I never lived there, although I visited often.  It's as though if mom and dad are there, it's your base, your safe haven.  I noticed I was more relaxed there and even slept better.

Like @Plaid Pants2  Dad, sold the house after mom died because the maintenance was too much and his heart was no longer in it.  I thought about buying it as it was a gem, but it was a patio home with a postage stamp-sized yard, and I have four big dogs that need more room.

I completely understand the feelings people have about the parental home.

[Lucky Charm]

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@italia8140 wrote:

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@ValuSkr wrote:

I don't know how you could be attached to a house you never lived in yourself.

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I don't either.

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You know, it could be sitting in the kitchen that's bathed in morning sun and enjoying a cup of coffee with your mother and/or father.   

Or watching them through the curtains out in the back yard tending to a tomato plant or watering a flower bed and knowing how much they enjoy each and every tomato or flower.

Our parents won't be here forever and we know that.  And they know that.  But you wish you could change that somehow and they would stay and their tomato plants will stay and the sheer curtains will stay.

[Kalli]

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@ValuSkr wrote:

I don't know how you could be attached to a house you never lived in yourself.

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I only lived in our old farm house for a few years, my late teens to early 20s.  It's not those years I'm sentimental about.  It's all the years that followed.

We had countless holiday family get-togethers, weddings, 4th of July picnics, Easter dinners, at that old house.  My children grew up visiting Grandma and Grandpa there, getting their heights penciled onto the old original beam that stands between the hallway and kitchen.  At that house they camped out with my dad, hiked our small "mountain", played in the stream, played cards and games with my mom.  All my brothers and sister returned home for those special events with their spouses and eventually their own children.  

It almost seems the house is part of our family.

[Kalli]

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@Lucky Charm wrote:

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@italia8140 wrote:

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@ValuSkr wrote:

I don't know how you could be attached to a house you never lived in yourself.

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I don't either.

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You know, it could be sitting in the kitchen that's bathed in morning sun and enjoying a cup of coffee with your mother and/or father.   

Or watching them through the curtains out in the back yard tending to a tomato plant or watering a flower bed and knowing how much they enjoy each and every tomato or flower.

Our parents won't be here forever and we know that.  And they know that.  But you wish you could change that somehow and they would stay and their tomato plants will stay and the sheer curtains will stay.

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What a wonderful sentiment and so poignant and so true.  We wish we could hold onto our parents forever.  Even though I've always thought I cherished my mom and dad, now that they're descending into dementia, I feel like I didn't and wasted time not thinking/believeing this day would ever really come.  

[Anniecamp]

I've loved reading this thread.  It's so comforting to see that others feel or felt the same way that I did when I had to sell my parents' home & lake home.  Also when we sold our first home.  My parents owned their home for 54 years, and it was difficult to let it go.  I had to sell it to pay for Mom's nursing home care.  She had terrible dementia and didn't seem to realize I'd had to sell it.  I remember the "last dinner" we had there.  My family, neices and nephews got together before we sold it.  Mom wasn't able to be there, and Dad had died a couple of years before.  It was a nice way to say "Farewell".

I still like to drive by their old home, as well as our first house, when I'm near there.  Thankfully, the new owners have cherished those homes and taken good care of them.

[Nomore]

Likewise, my parent's/mother's house of 56 years was sold a couple of years ago to take care of the nursing home expenses of my mother. My dad had died many years ago when I was a teen. 

It was difficult to see it sold to a flipper then sold again. But what happened terribly 2 months ago in the house, I can't even drive by now. The incident happened in my old bedroom according to news/police reports. 

[Plaid Pants2]

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@Kachina624 wrote:

I had the same feeling about the house my parents bought for their retirement.  I never lived there, although I visited often.  It's as though if mom and dad are there, it's your base, your safe haven.  I noticed I was more relaxed there and even slept better.

Like @Plaid Pants2  Dad, sold the house after mom died because the maintenance was too much and his heart was no longer in it.  I thought about buying it as it was a gem, but it was a patio home with a postage stamp-sized yard, and I have four big dogs that need more room.

I completely understand the feelings people have about the parental home.

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Exactly!

Since my parents & I lived in the same town, I would visit them often.

Dinners, conversations, holidays, etc.

Yes, I may have never lived there, but it was still "home" to me.

[Lilysmom]

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@Nomore wrote:

Likewise, my parent's/mother's house of 56 years was sold a couple of years ago to take care of the nursing home expenses of my mother. My dad had died many years ago when I was a teen. 

It was difficult to see it sold to a flipper then sold again. But what happened terribly 2 months ago in the house, I can't even drive by now. The incident happened in my old bedroom according to news/police reports. 

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@Nomore, I am sorry your memories are affected by this recent event.  It's like something you can't get back I fear.  Some times it is better not to know.  LM