Community Chat

[Shorty2U]

Last week there was a murder suicide 2 blocks away from one of my family members (which I don't want to mention which family member due to privacy). It was in a nice suburban neighborhood.

I cant get this out of my head because children were involved. They looked like a beautiful happy family in pictures, but of course we don't know what goes on behind closed doors.

It was 5 people and the dog. (The parents, 3 children, and their pet). They are going to have a press conference Monday to announce which parent did this but I think it was the dad because the mom was planning to leave him that day. (Whichever parent did it left a note but I guess they didn't sign it so the police had to do an entire investigation and will release that information Monday).

The mom had posted her plans to leave on facebook which to me is ridiculous. NO I'm NOT blaming her but that wasn't too smart to do. She was evidently typing on facebook how he mentally abused her (way before this), and her plans to leave in detail. If only she had gone to a place for help to transition to get away from him (along with taking the children along), maybe things would have turned out different.

Its sad enough about the entire story, especially the children and dog. But also their youngest daughter got a heart transplant as a baby and they were having trouble getting the medicine at 4 thousand dollars a month. Very said that this baby got a 2nd chance at life with someones heart only to die in this manner.

And it just breaks my heart, and I will never ever understand why people do this to the entire family if they are the one that is sad and doesn't want to be here.

Lastly the news wont let up on this story and lots of people are upset because the extended family is suffering enough. It also made national news because the NY paper or magazine (I forget which) had done a story on them before about the baby with the new heart.

PS The dad of the dad made a comment to the news that he wished he would have done more. Its not his fault, but can you imagine the suffering the other family members are going through? Heartbreaking.

[Yardlie]

@Shorty2U ... What a sad, sad story. I never understand either why people think they have to take their whole family (and dog) with them when they decide to end their life.

This story is especially sad about the little one who received a heart transplant. I can imagine the burden that the mother was feeling. Isn't it sad that people have to worry about who is going to pay for the medications after something like a heart transplant???

There needs to be some national organization that will help families like this. Actually, it should just be required that the insurance pay for the medications after a transplant. I recently gave to a Go Fund Me request for someone I went to high school with. She had a bone marrow transplant for her cancer. Her medications were costing several thousand a month. She ended up dying from graft vs. host disease. Sometimes you wonder if they didn't have to worry about the financial end of things if they would have a better outcome...maybe more drive to fight. Who knows?

[Mz iMac]

Saw the story on the local news.

[ChynnaBlue]

They're called family annihilators and, for the most part, are men. It's another symptom of fragile and toxic masculinity in our society. When some men feel like they aren't living up to the societal view of manhood, it can morph into toxic masculinity and cause different forms of violence, from self-harm, abuse of others, to shooting women who turn you down romantically, (as in the case of the Riverside killer and far too many others), or familicide. 

This article is from 2010, but I think it's still relevant today: http://www.newsweek.com/inside-mind-family-annihilators-75225

[KarenQVC]

Police are waiting until next Monday to say which parent did it.  When I heard the dog was shot, I assumed it was the man.  A woman would let the dog out of the house.

[Tinkrbl44]

@Shorty2U

I don't think you saying if it was near a nameless sister or aunt's home somehow "violates" anyone's privacy, but ITA  ...   this is a very sad story.

I have often wondered what goes on in the head of a man who thinks he "owns" the woman and she cannot leave ... or else.   Very,  very disturbing.

[MickD]

@Shorty2U - very sad....why the dog??? I think when a person does this kind of thing it boils down to months and months and months of severe stress and sadness.  The person just becomes psychotically depressed and sees no other way out.  About 6 ish years ago a grandmother killed her daughter and two grand daughters, then herself a block away from where we live.  The daughter was a former colleague of my husband.  She was relocating to another state.  She had talked to my husband and he said that they could stay with us.  She declined as the grandmother new friends who had a house down the street....that was a tough one to get over....my son had spent time with the girls at a few company get togethers.  I didn't tell him what happened until he was older.  My husband was racked with guilt ....if they would've stayed with us....he thought it wouldn't have happened.  No winners.  I get anxious just thinking about it again....jeez.

[Marianne1]

This is local for me too.  

Originally, the "rumors" were that the wife was the shooter, because she wrote on blogs about her having PTSD in regard to her daughter's medical issues.

And now, people are speculating that it was the husband that was the shooter.

I am just going to say that I will wait for the police reports and conclusions before I lay the blame on any party, because this situation is horrific enough without adding theories that have not been proven thus far. 

[Gooday]

I met my BFF in sophomore year of h.s.  We were inseperable.  Her mom died in childbirth with her sister who was 5 years younger than my friend.  She had 4 older siblings.  Her dad remarried within 2 years.  The new wife had 3 children of her own and they had one together.  She was the step-mom from Cinderella and drank to boot.

My friend's dad was a well known newspaper reporter and was a Pulitzer Prize winner.  However, he suffered from depression after the death of his wife.

My BFF ended up living with us because the situation got so bad as time went on.  Her father was very grateful but he felt like a failure.  On one of her visits with her dad, he tried to hang himself in front of her.

8 years later my friend was getting married.  It was Labor Day weekend.  Her dad had been in treatment with a psychiatrist.  He went back with his 2nd wife after divorcing her but going back with her.

The day after the wedding, he went to the rest of his grown biological children who were all married and on their own.  He asked each one of them how they were situated financially.  The next morning he got up and took a gun, stood in front of the mirror in the bedroom and killed his wife and himself.  He died immediately and she lasted 3 days in the hospital.

Her dirty rotten offspring went into the house and cleaned it out.  He had no will so, since she outlived him by 3 days, her children got EVERYTHING.

The family sued the psychiatrist because the doctor's records said what good progress he had been making.  They found notes begging for help all around the house.

Strange things happen.  Thankfully, my BFF has had a wonderful 38 year marriage, 3 grown children with terrific jobs and 3 beautiful grandsons.  She said she was not going to raise her children like she was raised...in a verbally abusive home.

On another subject: when a person has a transplant of any kind, the hospital and/or drug company works diligently with the family to make sure the recipient gets their anti rejection medications.  I know this for a fact.

[151949]

These murder suicides have been around forever. It is just another form of abuse. Of course the worst. One of my many cousins next door neighbor did this when we were kids. I remember her well, she was a lovely lady who was always calling us kids over to give us a coke or something then she'd sit out on the steps and talk to us. We really liked her. I don't remember ever seeing her husband but at some point he killed her and himself. 

I am always so appalled at these people who go and shoot up a bunch of people at a movie or a mall and then kill themselves. I can't understand the need to kill other people first.