I Need Encouragement.....A Lot - Page 4

jubilant · ‎06-10-2010

So sorry to hear about you husbands problems. You're at a hard place for sure. I hope you find the help you need. If this goes on for very long you will surely need it. I said a prayer for you both. My grandfather was 21 yrs. older than my grandmother so I know it can present some challenges.

lovesrecess · ‎03-14-2010

The role of caregiver is the toughest of all...overwhelming and exhausting. I think so much of the problems such as your husbands begin when they start messing around with medications and then just try and sedate to make it easier on the nurses while they are hospitalized. Some real personality changes can happen...they always chalk it up to age but it is the meds...have seen it in my father in-law, my mom, my aunt, and a few others. Try and write down as much info as you can regarding his behavior and see if there is a pattern as to it and when he is given is meds. You also may want to consider assisted living. Bless you and your dear husband.

Mistic · ‎12-08-2010

@bootsanne ~

I am so sorry that you are having to try to deal with all of this on your own. My heart goes out to you.

I've been through this, but with my Father, which I know is not the same.

But, I do know the physical and mental exhaustion you are experiencing. I have 2 Sisters, but one was in Minnesota, and the other in Florida. I live in Pennsylvania. So, pretty much on my own, but with "lots" of "do this ~ do that" advice.

I hope that you can get some help, and soon!

{{{Gentle Caring Hugs To You}}} Mistic

If you want to change the tenor of your interactions, you must become aware of the impact of your words...Karen Casey

Gorgf · ‎03-10-2010

I worked in Assisted Living and we had people come in for family respite care and even Hospice. Spouses who could not handle the care stress and children who needed a vacation The nursing is not skilled but we had access to nurse on call. You may look in to this as less costly than a Nursing Home. Outside PT is offered, meds and full cares. Some left, some stayed and some transferred to a Nursing Home. Sometimes the stay was a couple of weeks.

It sounds like you need a mental and physical break to get your husband's. medical situation stable. We all need to get our affairs in order sooner or later, including myself. I hope his medication gets straightened out. Sometimes it takes a few weeks. Sounds like he has some positives going for him , a good mind in general,and this is hopefully a temporary health situation.

blackhole99 · ‎08-22-2013

OMG 21 years older, my husband is only 8 years older than I am and his ageing is scary for me. If your husband is with it mentally, I would be honest with him and tell him how you are feeling. I would suggest a private duty nurse or better yet nursing home care if money is not a concern. It's a little late to save him a nursing home bill or tax bills after his death if he has no will. I would call a lawyer who deals with elder care law and see what your options my be at this late stage. Good luck.

software · ‎06-08-2016

The social worker at the hospital should have worked with you to get your husband into some type of rehab before sending him home.

To do it now, directly from home will cost more.

Medicare pays for I think at least 21 days after a hospital discharge.

You do have joy.

You still have your husband.

He will get better, get more help.

Lucky Charm · ‎03-09-2010

Just imagine if you were his age! You'd be dealing with this in your 80's. Not any easier--for sure.

I see my parents both in their mid 80's helping each other out, they don't have any major issues. But my brothers and one sister are close by to help out should the need arise.

Does him not having a will bother you? Was it ever a sticky issue when and if brought up? My FIL wasn't all lovey-dovey with my MIL, but he made sure she was taken care of. Every t was crossed and every i dotted. He had everything in order. I know it made my MIL feel like he did care for her deeply.

Be happy you still have him. Open up to him about how this has stressed you out, too, when he gets better.

AuntG · ‎03-09-2010

Small wonder there is no joy right now. I think you need to get medication for your sinus infection and do what you can for your husband. It will be rough going but I hope things start to improve.

Lindsays Grandma · ‎03-10-2010

@aroc3435 wrote:
@bootsanne Understandable to have a pity party. You're anxious and exhausted and have a sinus infection to top off all the stress you are experiencing. Was his cataract surgery done in the hospital?

Not sure if they do it in hospital anymore since it has been streamlined so much from many decades ago.

Maybe he picked up the pneumonia there. In any event my experience with seniors with weird symptoms or side effects after a medical episode or surgery is to ask that one doctor should look at all the medications being taken to be sure there are no drug combinations "fighting" each other. The doctor should also consider the patient's size and weight. (They often forget to do this with dosages for slightly built women--I've experienced that in my medical treatment and it is not fun.)

I do not work in the medical field, by the way. I wish you and your husband the best. I will keep you in my meditation chain. Do not forget to attend to your own well being. That won't help him or you.

With warm thoughts,
aroc3435

Hi aroc3435, don't mean to change the subject but I'm responding to your question of where cataract surgeries are done. I had both eyes done in 2015 in a hospital, not the same day. The second is done a week or two later. Fantastic results, I saw colors I hadn't seen in a long time, I had been looking at the world through a fog. I sincerely hope and pray that bootsanne gets help in taking care of her husband.

The moving finger writes; And having writ, Moves on: nor all your Piety nor Wit Shall lure it back to cancel half a Line Nor all your Tears Wash out a Word of it. Omar Khayam