Community Chat

[bootsanne]

My husband is 21 years older than me which makes him pretty old.  I'm in my mid 60's so you can do the math.  For the past year he has been dealing with several health issues, spinal stenosis and sciatica being the worst.  He has Macular Degeneration, A-fib,  and is a 16+ year cancer survivor with a small reoccurence 4 years ago.  He also runs a very high white blood count so our lives have been a constant stream of doctors.  Even with all these issues he has been very strong, his mind sharp, eats like a horse, never gains an ounce.

In October he had his Medicare physical.  All his doctors are amazed at how well he looks--at least 15 years younger than actual age.  He was scheduled for cataract removal at the end of November so that meant another round of physicals and EKG.  He sailed through the cataract surgery but was complaining of loss of appetite and fatigue with a cough.  Cataract removal was on a Monday and by Saturday he was sick enough to go to Urgent Care.  UC took X-raysof his chest--all clear, no fever, no chills, bp good.  Sent him home with cough medicine..  Sunday sicker, Monday even worse.  I heard him breathing funny around midnight, wasn't in bed, but had fallen on the floor and was too weak to get up.  I called an ambulance and he was taken to ER at our local hospital.

He was in A-fib plus had double pneumonia.  He was in ER 12 hours before they put him in a room.  He was very confused, agitated, coughing horribly,  Doctors changed all his meds but he was really ill.  Because of his agitation and restlessness, they gave him a shot of morphine to calm him.  Wrong...he became completely combative and disoriented.  Nurses found him in another room yelling at the patient to get out his house.  They finally medicated him and got him calmed down. Did a battery of tests which all came back negative for stroke or neurological.  

When I went in Tuesday after being there almost a week hooked up to IV's and oxygen, he informs me he's being sent home.  Nurse said he needs no oxygen and will have people coming to the house for pt, nursing, etc.  Well he's home and I am overwhelmed.  All new meds which are causing all kinds of side efects.  He can't sleep, is restless, won't do his pt.  Plus I have a severe sinus infection.  

Sorry this is so long, but today has been a constant stream of phone calls, about his meds and his home health care plus the nurse who was here saw how upset I am.  I'm doing this all myself and I'm emotionally and physically drained.  I realize at his age, if he recovers, it will be a long process.  I'm having a huge pity party for myself but there is no joy in my life right now.

[SeaMaiden]

@bootsanne    Can not help you in  this difficult time... but sending you love and caring thoughts  and ((hugs)). I can only imagine how difficult this for you. 

[Misplaced Parisian]

@bootsanne Oh, sweetie, first give yourself a big pat on the back!  You are doing beautifully.  I can imagine you are overwhelmed.  Since the nurse saw upset how you are, overwhelmed by all that is going on perhaps nurse can advocate that you get full time nursing help at home?  Perhaps your husband could be moved to extended care while he recovers so it gives you a chance to fight your sinus infection, gets some rest, etc.?  Sending lots of love your way.  Hang in there.

[SharkE]

If you have medical power of attorney I'd have the Dr. to sign for him to go into nursing home. Sounds like you don't have any family to help from either side. Your only one woman. Have to take care of yourself.

[x Hedge]

Talk to your own Dr about the effect this is having on you. This won't be his first encounter with this situation. He will be able to point you toward help.

[grandma r]

sending hugs and prayers.

Thankfully you are able to help him.  In recent years I have found that either the patient or loved ones have to advocate and actually insist on proper care.

Hope both of you will get thru this.

[MalteseMomma]

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}  so sorry....

Been there ,done that ,although my DH was just a few yrs older than me.It is not easy

.Do NOT try to do this alone.(like I did)  Accept any help offered.Look for groups in the same situation..........

[NickNack]

It sounds like he should have gone to a rehabilitation place instead of coming home.  Could his doctor send him there now?  I'm so sorry you're going through this.  

[EastCoastGal]

I'm so very sorry you are going through this!! 

Prayers and  to both of you. 

[qualitygal]

NO< NO< NO< NO< you are not having a pity party.  I'd say you are strung out from being a care giver. You need someone to help you with him.  Is there anyone you can call.  Who would you call if you collapsed?  If you do nothing else and can get someone in to help you for awhile, till the fur quits flying, do that for the both of you first thing.