I Need Encouragement.....A Lot - Page 2

Catty2 · ‎09-06-2014

I'm so sorry to hear about everything going on right now. Hoping that your husband gets to feeling better and that you get over your sinus infection. Sending best wishes and hugs your way. Take care.

Puppy Lips · ‎05-09-2010

So sorry you are going through this. Please try to get some help. I can see how this must be overwhelming for you. Do your best and don't beat yourself up over not doing more.

Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else. Margaret Mead

aroc3435 · ‎09-30-2010

@bootsanne Understandable to have a pity party. You're anxious and exhausted and have a sinus infection to top off all the stress you are experiencing. Was his cataract surgery done in the hospital?

Not sure if they do it in hospital anymore since it has been streamlined so much from many decades ago.

Maybe he picked up the pneumonia there. In any event my experience with seniors with weird symptoms or side effects after a medical episode or surgery is to ask that one doctor should look at all the medications being taken to be sure there are no drug combinations "fighting" each other. The doctor should also consider the patient's size and weight. (They often forget to do this with dosages for slightly built women--I've experienced that in my medical treatment and it is not fun.)

I do not work in the medical field, by the way. I wish you and your husband the best. I will keep you in my meditation chain. Do not forget to attend to your own well being. That won't help him or you.

With warm thoughts,

aroc3435

LTT1 · ‎03-09-2010

@bootsanne

You have a lot on your plate.

There are some excellent suggestions here.

With a sinus infection it is hard sometimes to think straight....ask me, the sinus infection queen.

I hope you can get your DH into a nursing home for pt and f/u care so you can rest up and get well.❤️

~Have a Kind Heart, Fierce Mind, Brave Spirit~

bootsanne · ‎01-21-2011

@SharkE To make matters even worse is the fact that my husband has a lot of money but has been very lax in making plans for his passing. He is very secretive about his money and I don't believe his will has been updated since before our marriage. There is no advanced directive, no poa. I on the hand have everything in order even down to my cats. I'm not worried about the money because I am secure with my own. As for him going to rehab, he would have fought that tooth and nail. I'm a veteran of several surgeries that required a lot of aftercare, but this has been a huge set-back for him emotionally and physically . This pneumonia has been harder on him than the cancer.

sunala · ‎03-09-2010

@bootsanne wrote:
My husband is 21 years older than me which makes him pretty old. I'm in my mid 60's so you can do the math. For the past year he has been dealing with several health issues, spinal stenosis and sciatica being the worst. He has Macular Degeneration, A-fib, and is a 16+ year cancer survivor with a small reoccurence 4 years ago. He also runs a very high white blood count so our lives have been a constant stream of doctors. Even with all these issues he has been very strong, his mind sharp, eats like a horse, never gains an ounce.

In October he had his Medicare physical. All his doctors are amazed at how well he looks--at least 15 years younger than actual age. He was scheduled for cataract removal at the end of November so that meant another round of physicals and EKG. He sailed through the cataract surgery but was complaining of loss of appetite and fatigue with a cough. Cataract removal was on a Monday and by Saturday he was sick enough to go to Urgent Care. UC took X-raysof his chest--all clear, no fever, no chills, bp good. Sent him home with cough medicine.. Sunday sicker, Monday even worse. I heard him breathing funny around midnight, wasn't in bed, but had fallen on the floor and was too weak to get up. I called an ambulance and he was taken to ER at our local hospital.

He was in A-fib plus had double pneumonia. He was in ER 12 hours before they put him in a room. He was very confused, agitated, coughing horribly, Doctors changed all his meds but he was really ill. Because of his agitation and restlessness, they gave him a shot of morphine to calm him. Wrong...he became completely combative and disoriented. Nurses found him in another room yelling at the patient to get out his house. They finally medicated him and got him calmed down. Did a battery of tests which all came back negative for stroke or neurological.

When I went in Tuesday after being there almost a week hooked up to IV's and oxygen, he informs me he's being sent home. Nurse said he needs no oxygen and will have people coming to the house for pt, nursing, etc. Well he's home and I am overwhelmed. All new meds which are causing all kinds of side efects. He can't sleep, is restless, won't do his pt. Plus I have a severe sinus infection.

Sorry this is so long, but today has been a constant stream of phone calls, about his meds and his home health care plus the nurse who was here saw how upset I am. I'm doing this all myself and I'm emotionally and physically drained. I realize at his age, if he recovers, it will be a long process. I'm having a huge pity party for myself but there is no joy in my life right now.

@bootsanne- I'm so sorry for all you and your husband are going through. I agree that you have to talk to someone to help you get some relief from your 24/7 job. Please take the good advice of others who posted before me. I hope you will be able to get some help to care for him so that you will be able to care for yourself as well. Best regards.

"That's a great first pancake."
Lady Gaga, to Tony Bennett

RetRN · ‎10-01-2013

I feel sorry for you.

I will never understand why people do not have POA for healthcare, POA for finances, and a will completed. Nothing is gained by putting it off, it only creates a multitude of problems for the family.

1Snickers · ‎03-19-2016

@bootsanne. Your husband needs a medical power of Attorney. Someone( you) needs to be in charge of his care if he's incapacitated. The Hospital may be able to do this or his Dr. My hospital has one on file.

He can set up a living Trust that he can control while living but will save money and not go into probate. Please talk to him about this.

i made a Trust when my Parents died. Every State is different and there are new tax laws.

My husband had Cancer and had bypasses. He was controlling and had type A behavior.. He was 8 years older than me.

I finally told him if he didn't help me and get some help I would put him in a VA Hospital on the other side of the Country.. He believed me!

You can set up home health care (since he has money) and it's a help but not as much as being in a respite place. Also,get a maid or help around the house. You can't do it all.

We are lucky to have a place called Hospice House.Its run by donations and volunteers. The people are Angels! My Husband was only there a few weeks before he passed away but I couldn't have continued much longer .They also do respite care even for a few days to give you a break.

Sinus infections are terrible! I get them also and they make you feel so bad. YOU need rest! I understand your situation since mine was similar and wish you well!

Mom2Dogs · ‎03-09-2010

@bootsanne...I cannot 'help' you but sending you good thoughts and lots of energy to get you thru this crisis.....do you have any children that could come over and help you out?

I hope your husband recovers soon...it does sound like his tests have come back with good results, so no other serious illness except for the pneumonia, which I know is serious, but he was in otherwise good health so I am sure he will make it thru that diagnosis. Come here and vent anytime you feel the need!

Take care.