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Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 7,226
Registered: ‎06-16-2015

Re: How Do You Feel When a Friend Constantly Corrects You?

I am an English major, so I don't get a lot of people correcting me, unless it's my pharmacy friend telling me how to pronounce certain meds. I don't correct adults usually unless they ask me because I think it's rude and sometimes there are extenuating circumstances. For instance, I have a teacher friend who mispronounces gynogologist to the point of absurdity,  among other things. But she told me once that she never had any phonics in her early education and that pronunciation has always been a problem.  Another one of my friends mispronounces many words, even simple ones. For instance she constantly says ablum when she means album. It drives me crazy, but I don't say anything because she has hearing aides and still can't hear things very well, She misses entire syllables. I would also venture a guess that she too didn't have phonics in early education. I can always tell the difference between the phonics and non phonics people. Give them an obscure word to pronounce, and the phonics person is aware of patterns and combinations which attlow them a better chance at correct pronunciation. A disclaimer here because I don't want to get jumped on for something I'm not trying to convey, I have in no way implied that there is a universal application. Some people are just more intuitive verbally than others with or without phonics. I just don't think that people appreciate being corrected by others they consider friends.

Honored Contributor
Posts: 13,775
Registered: ‎07-09-2011

Re: How Do You Feel When a Friend Constantly Corrects You?

[ Edited ]

Hummm.... If she really does it frequently it does seem pretty intentional to me.  I'd give her the benefit of the doubt of perhaps having good intentions.  That said, I would tell her in private something like - 'I like to know if I'm pronouncing something wrong, but I would prefer that you don't point it out in a group.'  I'm sorry, it certainly sounds unpleasant for you.

 

If it happens again, I'd look directly at her and be absolutely silent until she had a chance to remember your request, then change the subject. 

 

One more time and I'd remind her in the group that you'd asked her to stop, and you would appreciate her not doing it again.

 

Hope you figure something out.

"Animals are not my whole world, but they have made my world whole" ~ Roger Caras
Honored Contributor
Posts: 25,929
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: How Do You Feel When a Friend Constantly Corrects You?

My DH constantly corrects EVERYTHING I say. I find it exceedingly irritating and I am always asking him to stop doing it, but he doesn't. He is a good man in almost every way, and I do dearly love him, but this is a ****** in the armor so to speak. It wouldn't bother me as much if he was correct but frequently he is wrong. (sigh) No one is perfect, everyone who is married lives with some irritating traits in their mate.

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Posts: 20,648
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: How Do You Feel When a Friend Constantly Corrects You?

I don't mind being corrected as long as the person is right.   If ya don't know what you're talking about, however - shut it!  hehe  Smiley Happy

 

Don't correct or admonish me unless you are certain that you are right.  I've had people on this board (years ago) call me names such as 'stupid' and 'an idiot' (yeah, I remember the words, just not who said them) BUT, in the course of doing so, they used misspelled words and poor grammar.  I just let that set for what it was because I found it amusing.  So, go ahead and correct me but just know what you're talking about and I will gladly accept the help.  Smiley Happy

 

Here's the thing - On one hand I wouldn't want to sound like a fool so I really don't mind being corrected and I learn from it because I never forget having to be corrected with a given word use, grammar, etc.

 

OTOH,  one should probably temper that a bit.  If she is constantly correcting you that just isn't going to be well accepted.  Either - the person is just not paying attention to the corrections, the person doesn't want to be corrected and doesn't mind saying/doing something incorrectly, or the person is downright tired of being corrected all the time.

 

I've never had to be corrected constantly (I'm probably the one on the other end but I learned, years ago, to zip it) but if I were, I would probably insist that the person 'get offa me'.  Seriously, enough already.

Frequent Contributor
Posts: 129
Registered: ‎02-11-2015

Re: How Do You Feel When a Friend Constantly Corrects You?

It wasn't a friend who corrected me, it was my aunt.  I was visiting her on Long Island when I was around twelve years old. We were talking about this and that and I pronounced a French perfume incorrectly.  She corrected me.  Then the next day, I pronounced yet another word not to her liking and she corrected me again.

 

It must have rubbed off as I got older because to this day, I am a dictionary and pronunciation fanatic.  Was she right?  Or wrong?  I know at the I felt humiliated as a teen but maybe it was a good thing.  If a friend constantly corrected me now though,, I'd say something like, "Oh, it's an optional pronunciation."    

Spoiler
 
Valued Contributor
Posts: 597
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

Re: How Do You Feel When a Friend Constantly Corrects You?


@chickenbutt wrote:

I don't mind being corrected as long as the person is right.   If ya don't know what you're talking about, however - shut it!  hehe  Smiley Happy

 

Don't correct or admonish me unless you are certain that you are right.  I've had people on this board (years ago) call me names such as 'stupid' and 'an idiot' (yeah, I remember the words, just not who said them) BUT, in the course of doing so, they used misspelled words and poor grammar.  I just let that set for what it was because I found it amusing.  So, go ahead and correct me but just know what you're talking about and I will gladly accept the help.  Smiley Happy

 

Here's the thing - On one hand I wouldn't want to sound like a fool so I really don't mind being corrected and I learn from it because I never forget having to be corrected with a given word use, grammar, etc.

 

OTOH,  one should probably temper that a bit.  If she is constantly correcting you that just isn't going to be well accepted.  Either - the person is just not paying attention to the corrections, the person doesn't want to be corrected and doesn't mind saying/doing something incorrectly, or the person is downright tired of being corrected all the time.

 

I've never had to be corrected constantly (I'm probably the one on the other end but I learned, years ago, to zip it) but if I were, I would probably insist that the person 'get offa me'.  Seriously, enough already.


The part of your post I bolded made me think of the famous Mark Twain quote:

 

"It is better to keep your mouth closed and let people think you are a fool than to open it and remove all doubt." 

 

I need to think of and apply this quote to myself more often than I would care to admit.  Woman Wink

Be yourself; everyone else is already taken. -- Oscar Wilde
Honored Contributor
Posts: 20,143
Registered: ‎04-18-2012

Re: How Do You Feel When a Friend Constantly Corrects You?

I'd rather know I'm saying it wrong tham continue to say it wrong without knowing. 

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Respected Contributor
Posts: 4,936
Registered: ‎07-02-2015

Re: How Do You Feel When a Friend Constantly Corrects You?

[ Edited ]

I've either gotten more tolerant or more lazy when it comes to even noticing grammatical lapses, unless I see them in print.

 

  I commonly make one particular type of error, but am too lazy to correct or edit myself much of the time. (The  error is mixing a singular word with a plural one--"When someone does something nice, I want to tell them". "Them"' should be "him/her")

 

Once, I did refuse to stand down against bad English.  One day, I was in a room with my soon-to-be-spouse and three of his buddies.  One of them (who was prone to talking out of his hat, anyway) just about made me fall out of my chair by declaring that he had a "photogenic memory".

 

  I mean, really, how would he know whether his memory was good-looking enough to qualify as photogenic????........  Tried to explain that  he probably meant to say photographic memory and that professional models are photogenic,  but he insisted he was right.......... and all the guys in the room agreed with him. (yikes) 

Honored Contributor
Posts: 20,143
Registered: ‎04-18-2012

Re: How Do You Feel When a Friend Constantly Corrects You?

I just don't understand the concept of wanting to remain ignorant. The idea that people feel it's rude to be educated is just, I don't even know what to say. It's sad and hilarious at the same time. 

Don't Change Your Authenticity for Approval
Honored Contributor
Posts: 13,775
Registered: ‎07-09-2011

Re: How Do You Feel When a Friend Constantly Corrects You?

[ Edited ]

jaxs mom wrote:

I just don't understand the concept of wanting to remain ignorant. The idea that people feel it's rude to be educated is just, I don't even know what to say. It's sad and hilarious at the same time. 


I don't understand your post.  After re-reading all the other replies I don't see anyone who said they wanted to remain ignorant.  

 

What I did notice was that most don't think it's necessary to be rude.

"Animals are not my whole world, but they have made my world whole" ~ Roger Caras