How Do You Feel When a Friend Constantly Corrects You?

Fashionista17 · ‎03-12-2010

One of my friends constantly corrects the way I and others in our circle will pronouce a word. For example, I pronounced the word "hygienist" as "hygeenist." OK, maybe that's not the right way to say it but then my friend laughed and said she couldn't believe I pronounced the word the way I did. It's happened other times with me and others in our group and just this past weekend once more. Maybe I'm being silly but I wouldn't bring up to someone that they pronounced a word the wrong way - or at least if I wanted to correct someone I wouldn't laugh and make fun of the person. Do you think she is doing this to show us up and show how intelligent she is? It is very annoying. I always get good advice and comments from this community and I'd love to know what you think. Thanks!

Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.

Cranberries · ‎03-09-2010

The next time she mopes that she "feels so tired" comment that she looks really tired too. Or agree with her that those pants make her butt look big.

Just kidding ... I don't know what to suggest, but it would be very annoying. Not sure why someone would do that, maybe a superiority complex?

ChynnaBlue · ‎05-22-2012

@Fashionista17 wrote:
One of my friends constantly corrects the way I and others in our circle will pronouce a word. For example, I pronounced the word "hygienist" as "hygeenist." OK, maybe that's not the right way to say it but then my friend laughed and said she couldn't believe I pronounced the word the way I did. It's happened other times with me and others in our group and just this past weekend once more. Maybe I'm being silly but I wouldn't bring up to someone that they pronounced a word the wrong way - or at least if I wanted to correct someone I wouldn't laugh and make fun of the person. Do you think she is doing this to show us up and show how intelligent she is? It is very annoying. I always get good advice and comments from this community and I'd love to know what you think. Thanks!

I'd tell her it's annoying and ask her to stop. Some people lack social skills and honestly have no idea they are being annoying or offensive and won't know unless they are told. I know plenty of those people and am related to some, as well. Some of them are often very intelligent and I've always seen this as a side effect. I used to say my sister was such a genius that it left no room for things like where she left her shoes or how to talk to strangers.

If you let it be known that you don't appreciate it and she continues, keep repeating that you don't like it a few times. (Even smart people don't learn something the first time.) If she keeps doing it after that, forget it. She's either wired in a way that she can't make the change (like someone with Asperger Syndrome might be) or she's doing it intentionally. Move on and decide if you want to bring her with you as she is or leave her behind.

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YorkieonmyPillow · ‎01-13-2013

I would probably ask her why she "can't believe it," since she appears to be a self-appointed expert. I would find the company of such a person rather draining.....I'd rather hang out with my dogs. LOL

shoptilyadropagain · ‎03-19-2014

I had a co-worker do that several years ago One day after I gave him "the look:, he informed me that it was annoying. I told him know-it-alls are annoying too! He never did it again.

I had a friend who also did that to me so I started doing it back to her and she got offended. She started getting really snarky with me after that whenever she was correcting something I said wrong. I asked her why the attitude. She informed me that she was paying me back because I did it to her all the time. I quickly informed her that she was the first to correct me and I only started when she became obnoxious about it. We're no longer friends but this was only a minor issue I had with her. I eventually backed off the friendship.

Knowledge is knowing that a tomato is a fruit, but Wisdom is knowing not to put it in a fruit salad.
- Author Unknown

moto · ‎03-09-2010

I have to admit, I was that person and never new it. Not so much with pronunciation of words, but with correcting a story for accuracy. My husband finally pointed it out to me and it shocked me into awareness. Now I sit back and let the the small inaccuracies go as it usually doesn't influence the heart of the message the storyteller is sharing. It also made me aware that my sister constantly does the same as I used to.

In terms of being corrected for pronunciation - I actually need it from time to time, but it doesn't bother me for someone to correct me. If it did get to the point of irritating me, I would try to find a gentle way to share this with the person, as they probably don't even realise they are doing it.

colliegirls · ‎05-13-2012

She is rude, tell her to stop it.

Laura14 · ‎06-09-2014

I think there is enough ugliness and attitude in the world. If she really is a friend or even not, taking her aside for a polite "You know it really bothers me when you...." is usually something appreciated by most people and saves her from being made to feel uncomfortable in front of the others which is what she is probably unintentionally doing to you.

Most people, including myself, don't realize how they are coming off in the moment and get caught up in trying to express themselves. A gentle correction or request will probably get you further in correcting her behavior and bonus: you'll maintain being a nice person yourself.

Burnsite · ‎03-10-2010

Is she a teacher? They are so used to correcting small mistakes that sometimes they can't switch it off. I have a distant relative like that who is otherwise basically the kindest person in the world, so I have always assumed this is an occupational hazard faced by teachers.

On the other hand, to share a correction is one thing but to say "I can't believe you didn't pronounce that right" is not friendly.

Yahooey · ‎07-09-2010

If it is an regional accent - I don't go correcting people. But if it is an incorrect pronounciation, I have corrected a friend in private. She is extremely intelligent. Thai. Let's go for thigh food. Is it better not to say anything so she can continue saying it to coworkers when choosing a cuisine?

When tanzanite first came on the scene. I pronounce Tanzania as Tan Zan ia (ala mania). Someone corrected me and I was appreciative of that fact and remembered it for the future.

I agree that laughing when correcting in front of others is rude.