Re: Gift Not Well Received

JJsMom · ‎03-10-2010

@ScrapHappy wrote:
@JJsMom wrote:
After she received gift, she called my BIL. Told him what we sent and said something along the lines "where am I going to put it?" And went on to say she'd have to give some of it away. BIL called my husband and asked why we sent that. When husband spoke to his Mom, she again said "where am I going to put it?
She has a new refridgerator with a very large drawer pull out on the bottom. Can easily take items out of individual boxes and would have no problem. It's all individualized freezer portions. Her freezer is never full. We thought it was a nice gift and be easy on her so she doesn't have to go to grocery store and packages fo. easy storage and use (it's just her). Much better than the frozen dinners BIL has gotten her. She can drive and get around, it's just not as easy as it was for her. Do I judge her too harshly? I don't think so. This is what she does. I don't expect her to be over the moon about it, but more appreciative and grateful...yes.

Ok, yeah, that's kind of a rude response. I think I am used to the bluntness of some people as they get older. It doesn't make it right, but please try not to take it personally because it's not a reflection on you. That was a very thoughtful gift. In the future, I'd buy a scaled down gift or do a gift card.

If you are neutral in situations of injustice, you have chosen the side of the oppressor. ~ Desmond Tutu

Maggie Nolia · ‎03-09-2010

I vividly remember Mama saying, "If someone gives you a mop, you act like you needed a mop, wanted a mop, and that is exactly the mop you had your eye on."

Rockycoast · ‎03-02-2016

Live and learn. Don't buy your MIL food gifts anymore. Food storage was a real problem for her. I'm sure she worried about where to put it all (from your description, it did sound like way to much food for a single person). Just give her a nice card next year and let your husband worry about what gift to get her.

That being said, her response was not a gracious or respectful one to you and your husband. A simple thank you would have sufficed.

CrazyDaisy · ‎03-20-2010

@ScrapHappy wrote:
Bought my MIL a food gift. Steaks, burgers, chicken, hot dogs, potatoes and a dessert. I have gotten this in the past from someone else, I liked it and appreciated it. Shortly after my MIL received it, my husband got a call from my BIL asking why he sent that. The following day, my MIL said she doesn't have enough room in freezxer and she will have to give some of it away. It's clear to me that she called my BIL and complained about it and doesn't like it. I thought it's a nice gift and would make it easier for her to plan meals and since she doesn't get around easily, one less trip to the grocery store. I don't know why this is bothering me so much. My husband doesn't some bothered.

Not sure why people always jump to conclusions. Honestly, while I might enjoy this type of gift, I physically could not use that much at one time and certainly not have enough freezer space to store it. She was probably trying to find someone who could use the items rather than complaining. Would you rather she just smile and throw it all away?

Someday, when scientists discover the center of the Universe....some people will be disappointed it is not them.

San Antonio Gal · ‎05-18-2017

@ScrapHappy - I read through all the responses in this thread and I don't agree with the ones that said you should apologize for getting her this gift she didn't want or you should have asked her ahead of time if she wanted this gift.

What you did was very thoughtful. You knew she wasn't vegan, had plenty of room in the new fridge, and was trying to help by providing her food.

You don't owe her an apology for getting this gift. As you stated, she could have easily opened the boxes and stored the food with no problem.

For all future gifts, let hubby and your BIL take on the task, purchase an Amazon gift card, or donate to charity in her name.

icezeus · ‎10-30-2010

I think that it's a very thoughtful gift, but next year as others have mentioned I would giver her a gift card to a place that she actually likes to shop at.

I personally would have been gracious and said thank you. However, I understand not having room. I have my regular freezer on top of my refrigerator and a 7 cubic foot chest freezer that I was trying to shove items in from Costco the other day.

I know that purchasing that much meat was not inexpensive, so lesson learned. You gave it in the right spirit, from the heart.

lovescats · ‎03-10-2010

I think she should have known her mil would not have wanted it because she writes about how her mil wanted to know all the details about her mother's lift chair that the op wanted to give her before she took it.

mjmm · ‎03-12-2010

Don't give Christmas gifts. It's not in the bible. It's secular. And your hard earned money and time and your thought processes could be wasted because people do throw gifts away or give them away or donate them to salvation army.