Reply
Respected Contributor
Posts: 3,875
Registered: ‎04-27-2015

Re: ELIMINATING FRIENDS WHO BRING YOU DOWN


@hoosieroriginal wrote:

You can just tolerate a negative attitude from a friend so long.  It starts bringing you down, makes you not want to be with that person.  I think people have enough negativity around them nowadays and are looking for someone or something to lift them up.  As you all know, I recently dumped a friend for her multiple times of being totally rude and inconsiderate of me.  I cannot and will not tolerate this type of treatment anymore.  A friendship is a two-way street.  Life's too short to put up with this kind of rudeness.


We are here to lift each other up, not to take up space. You are right, life is too short for this rudeness.

Respected Contributor
Posts: 3,605
Registered: ‎07-11-2010

Re: ELIMINATING FRIENDS WHO BRING YOU DOWN


@chrystaltree wrote:

@catwhisperer wrote:

I am a very negative person with a lot of personal issues, yet friends and relatives call me constantly looking for advice. Go figure. ???


 

     No mystery to that.  They come to you because you are honest with them and you give them good advice.  People think that friends are supposed to be all sugary and sweet and give hugs and kisses and tell you what you want to hear.  No true!  Our true frriends, the ones who care about us and want what is best for us will tell us the truth and give wise counsel based on the facts of a situation....whether it's pleasant for us to hear or not.  You think of yourself as negative but I think that the people who come to you for advice do so because they think of you as realistic and honest.


@chrystaltree...I think you hit the nail on the head. I will lend a sympathtic ear, but I also tell it like I see it, without sugar coating and just telling people what they want to hear.

I promise to remind myself every day that I am strong, courageous, and resilient.
Respected Contributor
Posts: 4,510
Registered: ‎03-11-2010

Re: ELIMINATING FRIENDS WHO BRING YOU DOWN

Yup.  Surround yourself with good, positive people.  If a "friend" tries to undermine your confidence, or doesn't seem too happy when things are going well for you, that's not a true friend.

Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 6,175
Registered: ‎10-26-2010

Re: ELIMINATING FRIENDS WHO BRING YOU DOWN

[ Edited ]

There are some people who don't like to see others happy or in a good mood.

Honored Contributor
Posts: 20,648
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: ELIMINATING FRIENDS WHO BRING YOU DOWN

I think that, as we get older, we go more for quality and less for quantity.  Smiley Happy

Frequent Contributor
Posts: 110
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

Re: ELIMINATING FRIENDS WHO BRING YOU DOWN

I have done the same.  I know a University Admissions Director who asks applicants how many best friends they have - if they answer many, he often will not consider them for admission to his university, if they answer 1 or 2, he knows they have their priorities straight, and that they understand that it is not the number of friends you have, it is the quality of those friends. 

Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 6,475
Registered: ‎03-14-2015

Re: ELIMINATING FRIENDS WHO BRING YOU DOWN

Here are my qualifications for friendship.

 

I must be able to be my true, authentic self.

 

You accept me as I am, warts and all, and I'll do the same for you.

 

You allow me to vent when I am having a bad day, or something is ticking me off, and I'll do the same for you.

 

 

If someone says that they only want happy, positive people in their life, then I am not the friend for you, because in life, **** happens, and we all can't be happy and positive 100% of the time.

 

I really have to wonder about those who say that they only want happy, positive people in their lives. Would they drop a friendship simply because a friend has a husband who was diagnosed with a terminal illness, and that friend was sad, scared and depressed about it, and wanted a shoulder to lean on, and someone to talk to about it?

 

Or should that person put on a fake smile, and fake happiness, just to please others who only want happiness and positive energy from everyone around them?

 

 

Let's be honest here, life can be like a vacuum cleaner sometimes ( can't say the "S" word), and we all need a friend that we can talk to even when we don't feel happy and positive.

 

As for those who only want happy and positive people in their lives? Well, I hope that nothing bad ever happens to them because if it were to, they just might need a friendly shoulder to lean on, and they just might find themselves dropped, simply because they were not happy and positive all of the time.

 

Honored Contributor
Posts: 12,882
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: ELIMINATING FRIENDS WHO BRING YOU DOWN

I've never had a friend that brought me down, co-workers, yes, but they did it to everyone.  Easy to avoid!  I kept things work related and ignored anything that had to do with outside of the office.  Others' noticed and did the same.  Those toxic people sort of implode and that takes care of that....

 

I did give up a friendship that had started in the 2nd grade.  She didn't bring me down, but did something that was on the verge of (insurance) fraud.  I couldn't get past the fact that she didn't see the wrong of it.  I let her go and it didn't bother me at all.  She, as I understand it, had a hard time of it.

 

I have two sisters that I am very close with.  Their friends are my friends, their in laws are like inlaws to me.

 

I have a good circle of friends of my own.  But I'm not afraid to go out and meet other people.  I've met and befriended wives of my husbands co workers. 

 

We purchased a summer home in a town I didn't know anyone and can tell that I'll really like my neighbors.   I hope to call them friends some day.  We're not moved in yet and it will be a while.

 

I remember when we were pulling up to the house in our realtor's car, the next door neighbors were on the front porch talking and laughing.  They didn't notice us until we closed our car doors. 

 

To be laughing that hard and not be ogling who's pulling up--that's my kind of people.  Laughter--I couldn't stand a life without it!

Respected Contributor
Posts: 2,580
Registered: ‎02-04-2014

Re: ELIMINATING FRIENDS WHO BRING YOU DOWN

Yes, I recently had to stop a friendship of 40 years.   Once she remarried "money", and got a taste of it....her personality changed.   I, now, was of a "lower status" ....and it reflected in her new friends and exotic vacations.

Honored Contributor
Posts: 13,913
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

Re: ELIMINATING FRIENDS WHO BRING YOU DOWN

 

I was never good or close friends with anyone that was pessimistic or thought they were better than those around them, over were biased when it came to others.

 

Getting older for me meant not being out and about with my friends near as much as previous years, even decades. I love our home and being in it and with our wife and furry family. 

 

 

 

hckynut(john)

hckynut(john)