ELIMINATING FRIENDS WHO BRING YOU DOWN

Shanus · ‎05-17-2010

I realized the other day, watching a table of young women enjoying a cup,of joe, that over the years, I have narrowed down my circle of friends to those special few who made the "cut".

Those friends can be counted on for support when I'm down, listen to my dilemmas and offer advice, not solutions and most importantly are not Debbie Downers.

Although my friendships are equally give and take, at this age, I don't have patience for someone who always brings me down.

Have you pared down your circle of friends?

pugvette74 · ‎06-11-2010

Same for me. It is sad to say but if I didn't do it, I wouldn't be a true, honest. loving friend...

nana59 · ‎05-12-2012

Yes, I have. And I'm finally at the age (66) where I don't feel as though I have to explain anything to anyone.....

sandraskates · ‎06-26-2014

I have never been someone that has a lot of friends just to have a lot of friends.

My circle of friends has always been small, yet they are true friends.

Over many years there have been 3 that I gave up on because I felt that they dragged me down with their downer attitudes.

One of them has found my work address and has been trying to get me to be friends again. I am not really sure if her request is genuine or if there is a motvie behind it. I may create a post of my own asking for opinions on that!

chrystaltree · ‎05-10-2010

No and I don't think I ever will. I was never one of those women or girls who had 30 or 40 friends. I never travelled in a big posse. All my life I have only had a handful of very good friends and my younger sister is one of my bff's. Yes, I have had friends come in and out of my life but not because I had issues or problems with them. Sometimes, you are friends with someone because you had shared experiences or because you both happened to be at a certain point in your lives or due to proximity. When things change, those bonds break. People don't change. If a friend "brings you down" or disappoints you in some way, that friend always did that. From day one. So, I don't understand why after 10, 20, 30 years it becomes a problem. Every friendship begins as an acquaintance, not all acquaintances go on to become my friends. That's why I only have 5 or 6 true friends.

panda1234 · ‎04-27-2015

I have done this too. There is no room for toxic people in my life. If someone does not add to your life and is always taking, draining you then they should go.

Shanus · ‎05-17-2010

@sandraskates wrote:
I have never been someone that has a lot of friends just to have a lot of friends.
My circle of friends has always been small, yet they are true friends.

Over many years there have been 3 that I gave up on because I felt that they dragged me down with their downer attitudes.
One of them has found my work address and has been trying to get me to be friends again. I am not really sure if her request is genuine or if there is a motvie behind it. I may create a post of my own asking for opinions on that!

We're always here to listen and support your decisions. 💐

catwhisperer · ‎07-11-2010

I am a very negative person with a lot of personal issues, yet friends and relatives call me constantly looking for advice. Go figure. ???

I promise to remind myself every day that I am strong, courageous, and resilient.

Shanus · ‎05-17-2010

@catwhisperer wrote:
I am a very negative person with a lot of personal issues, yet friends and relatives call me constantly looking for advice. Go figure. ???

Maybe you have more to offer than you think. Don't sell yourself short.

chrystaltree · ‎05-10-2010

@catwhisperer wrote:
I am a very negative person with a lot of personal issues, yet friends and relatives call me constantly looking for advice. Go figure. ???

No mystery to that. They come to you because you are honest with them and you give them good advice. People think that friends are supposed to be all sugary and sweet and give hugs and kisses and tell you what you want to hear. No true! Our true frriends, the ones who care about us and want what is best for us will tell us the truth and give wise counsel based on the facts of a situation....whether it's pleasant for us to hear or not. You think of yourself as negative but I think that the people who come to you for advice do so because they think of you as realistic and honest.