Community Chat

[Lipstickdiva]

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@151949 wrote:

I'm so sorry that you all think that sending out an announcement of a wedding is a gift grab and I can assure you it is the PROPER thing to do. I am also just as sure that the bride and groom would much rather not get a gift from you than to get one that was sent in a begrudging attitude. It is certainly much more proper than going in debt having a wedding you can't  afford.

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Who is the "you all" you are posting about?  Because they aren't in this thread.

You seem to have some misconstrued idea in your head that hasn't taken place on this thread at all about what you posted.       

[chrystaltree]

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@Marp wrote:

I would take that kind of invitation as a way of saying we'd really like to have all our friends and family at the reception but can't afford it.

For a money strapped couple and those that would really like to attend both the church service and a reception dinner it could be a win/win situation. 

This way no one is left being invited to the wedding service but not the reception.

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       Well if that's the case, why not just make it a "brown bag" dinner.  Just tell the guests pack their own meals and join the festivities....lol   Don't forget to bring your canned sodas!

[ECBG]

They could also have a small reception with make your own small sandwiches and different salads with tea.

There are many ways to do inexpensive.

They are trying to have too many people if the whole church is invited.  I'm sorry this is her first, but sometimes you have to deal with reality.

Are they having a honeymoon?  Have a cookout for close friends when you get back, or even on the first anniversary.

[stevieb]

I'm not big on weddings anyway. My personal view is that there's too much hoopla and expense associated with most of them, given what they are supposed to be and supposed to represent. I never much liked the circus as a child either... I'd even go so far as to say that unless it's very close family or a dear friend, I'm 'one and done'. I'll 'celebrate' your first trip down the aisle, but if this guy is going for number two and pushing 40, I'd feel way less compelled to be involved at all, much less to foot the bill for my dinner... Mere acquaintances and friends of friends can save the price of my invitation and the cost of the stamp altogether.

[DoneTryin]

I thought people didn't bother getting married any more.  One of my younger co- workers moved in with her BF last year & some office mates threw her/them a party with gifts & all.  Almost the same as a wedding, eh?

Guess I'm old school.  Have a wedding that fits your budget & don't ask guests to pay for their own dinner.

[ROMARY]

I'd probably have a wedding/reception combo: With a coffee and cake reception with a glass of champagne for the toasting to the couple.  (BTW, many years ago, this was fairly common, and those folks had plenty of money, too.)  All in all, I enjoyed the reception(s).  Didn't drag on for hours upon hours, etc.  Very lovely.   

[Ms X]

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@RedConvertibleGirl wrote:

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@missy1 wrote:

Tacky, just like cash bars and potluck ones. They should just elope.

Is there a menu price list and you send a check?

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We had a tacky wedding I guess.  There were around 20 of us (family and a couple of close friends).  Simple ceremony on the beach, we paid for dinner and non-alcoholic beverages.  Those that wanted alcohol paid for their own.  Shame on us.

BTW - One of the best weddings I ever attended was potluck.  We didn't mind bringing a dish.

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It's not tacky if only your nearest and dearest friends and family are involved.  People understand and are happy to pitch in when the bridal couple don't want to bankrupt themselves for the wedding.  However, it seems to me that this kind of wedding is inappropriate for more distant friends and relatives.  It only becomes a gift-grab situation when the wedding format is inappropriate for the type of people invited.

A niece of mine decided to have a destination wedding on an expensive cruise for a whole week.  No one outside of her immediate familiy was invited, although my mother said the groom's family was much better represented.  She then had a party in the backyard months later to celebrate her wedding for those NOT INVITED.  I did not attend and bought her a present but could never bring myself to send it.  I have not seen her since either.  She chose to have a small wedding and should have been happy with that.  I believe the low-budget party was a gift grab, given that the invitations did not say "no gifts, please."  It is tacky to accept gifts from people who you didn't see fit to invite to your wedding, especially when it is a great many gifts.

[ROMARY]

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@stevieb wrote:

I'm not big on weddings anyway. My personal view is that there's too much hoopla and expense associated with most of them, given what they are supposed to be and supposed to represent. I never much liked the circus as a child either... I'd even go so far as to say that unless it's very close family or a dear friend, I'm 'one and done'. I'll 'celebrate' your first trip down the aisle, but if this guy is going for number two and pushing 40, I'd feel way less compelled to be involved at all, much less to foot the bill for my dinner... Mere acquaintances and friends of friends can save the price of my invitation and the cost of the stamp altogether.  ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------StevieB:  I thought I was the only young child who wasn't crazy about the Circus!  After several years of our annual Circus visits, I finally told my mom that I didn't want to go anymore.  She was shocked and thought that I liked going. ( I always wanted to sit in the very back row because I was uneasy about being so close to the large animals, etc. )  Although now, (and for many, many years), I love many wild animals, and I've often wished that I could hold a lion or tiger cub.  Ironic.

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[SahmIam]

Nope and I wouldn't attend. Tacky, money grubbing, desperate, cheap... pick your word and fill in the blank as to what these people are.

As long as society goes along with this ******, it will just get worse.

[queendiva]

Thank heaven I have not received this kind of invitation (yet!)

Does this mean a guest who responds Yes to the invite is expected to travel to the church and/or restaurant , offer a gift and is STILL required to buy their own meal? Did anyone in the families and bridal party explain to the bride and groom how awful this idea is before they sent out invitations? They sound like quite a pair.

DSs are both in their 20s. One wedding invite on the calendar for later in the year, to which we will all be invited. Future in-laws. Should be interesting, but not nearly as "interesting" as a Dutch reception.