Re: Dutch Treat Reception ???

Deanie · ‎03-09-2010

@missy1 wrote:
@Ms X wrote:
What will they think of next?

Virtual wedding. Just send in the gift.

Great reply. May I add to your thought? Virtual wedding, virtual gift...send a picture of a gift you were thinking about sending. It is a Dutch gift giving opportunity, you pay for your own gift.( I am surprised a PC individual has not spoken against the obvious slight on the term "Dutch" ):

gidgetgh · ‎03-09-2010

This would be an easy one for me. I just wouldn't go. Put the RSVP in the mail today. Done. I'm assuming I'd also have to put my own postage stamp on the RSVP. Thank goodness postage just went down.

If you want to throw a party and invite me as your guest, you need to pay for the party. I shouldn't have to pay my own way to your party. Additionally, I shouldn't have to guess at how much my share costs and give a gift that "covers the plate" (NEVER heard of that until I started posting here).

Why is it, when I have a 50/50 guess at something, I'm always 100% wrong?

vermint · ‎04-05-2010

@NYC Susan wrote:
@proudlyfromNJ wrote:
@151949 wrote:
I don't go to obvious gift grab weddings and this one is screaming gift grab.Send back the RSVP that you will not be attending and absolutely do not send a gift.
I don't know anyone who would have a "gift grab" wedding thank goodness. My friends are not like that.

Mine aren't either. I've never heard the term "gift grab" except on these forums, and I've never been invited to a wedding that ever - by the wildest stretch of the imagination - felt like a gift grab.

And I have been to a lot of weddings!!

@NYC Susan Oh, just give it time, lol! I received an invitation just 2 weeks ago to the wedding of my cousin's child...I've never met the cousin nor her child, and the wedding is across the country from me. The cousin's mother is my aunt--I've seen her maybe 6 or 7 times in the 50 years since we moved across the country. I call that a gift grab! I RSVP'd "no" (could do this online) and will not be sending a gift.

151949 · ‎03-09-2010

@proudlyfromNJ wrote:
@151949 wrote:
I don't go to obvious gift grab weddings and this one is screaming gift grab.Send back the RSVP that you will not be attending and absolutely do not send a gift.
I don't know anyone who would have a "gift grab" wedding thank goodness. My friends are not like that.

My father was one of 16 children, so I have 52 first cousins and many of them live far away.Yet I constantly receive invitations to things for my cousins and for their children who I have never even met. Many of the cousins I haven't seen in 50 years. I call those gift grabs.

RainyDayGal · ‎03-09-2010

@missy1 wrote:
Tacky, just like cash bars and potluck ones. They should just elope.

Is there a menu price list and you send a check?

We had a tacky wedding I guess. There were around 20 of us (family and a couple of close friends). Simple ceremony on the beach, we paid for dinner and non-alcoholic beverages. Those that wanted alcohol paid for their own. Shame on us.

BTW - One of the best weddings I ever attended was potluck. We didn't mind bringing a dish.

Mrsq2022 · ‎03-10-2010

@vermint wrote:
@NYC Susan wrote:
@proudlyfromNJ wrote:
@151949 wrote:
I don't go to obvious gift grab weddings and this one is screaming gift grab.Send back the RSVP that you will not be attending and absolutely do not send a gift.
I don't know anyone who would have a "gift grab" wedding thank goodness. My friends are not like that.

Mine aren't either. I've never heard the term "gift grab" except on these forums, and I've never been invited to a wedding that ever - by the wildest stretch of the imagination - felt like a gift grab.

And I have been to a lot of weddings!!
@NYC Susan Oh, just give it time, lol! I received an invitation just 2 weeks ago to the wedding of my cousin's child...I've never met the cousin nor her child, and the wedding is across the country from me. The cousin's mother is my aunt--I've seen her maybe 6 or 7 times in the 50 years since we moved across the country. I call that a gift grab! I RSVP'd "no" (could do this online) and will not be sending a gift.

Maybe, but I'm not sure about this being a gift grab.

With relatives, it is hard to keep up with who is doing what. Inviting you to the wedding means that 1- they are telling you that they are getting married and 2- if you wanted to make the trip out it would be nice to reconnect with people.

Say that they didn't invite you, but later sent an announcement that they were married. Would that appear to be a gift grab? If so, they can't win!

i have relatives that I know of but have met maybe 6 times in my entire life. We send each other every important announcement and invitation of our lives and our children's lives (marriages, babies, graduations, etc). That is how we do it in our family. It's the only way I'd know who married who and how many kids they have lol!

Lipstickdiva · ‎03-10-2010

@Lucky Charm wrote:
@missy1 wrote:
@Ms X wrote:
What will they think of next?

Virtual wedding. Just send in the gift.

Don't laugh. I know a few people who have been invited to virtual showers!

I'm guessing a virtual wedding isn't far behind.

Lipstickdiva · ‎03-10-2010

@Mj12 wrote:
I've never heard of this. But I would have much preferred a dutch treat reception than the one we went to last Fall for a niece. The bride's mother had the (bad) DJ make at least 3 announcements that guests could not go for 'seconds' of dinner, that there wasn't enough food for that.

Hahahaha. I attended a wedding a number of years ago that was basically a steak fry, which is okay. But the bride made an announcement that they had alloted for 1 sour cream per person so if you took more than one (they were in those squeeze boxes), you were supposed to go put it back and everyone else should be sure to only take one!!! ROFLOL

Trinity11 · ‎11-16-2014

We were invited to a 50th Anniversary party for his aunt and uncle by my husband's cousin. There were 5 adult kids and not one of them could come up with the moola so I guess they thought the relatives should pay.

What I didn't know when accepting was that it was Dutch Treat. She went around the room asking everyone for the price of their meal. There was nothing on the invitation except for "family pays." I guess I missed that because I had never encountered anything so tacky. If you can't afford to pay, then why even hold a party with rented room in a restaurant. Why not just take your parents out for a nice meal....

12andcounting · ‎03-10-2010

Seriously, every day I just shake my head and think can our society get any more strange. And every day I find the answer to that question is yes! My thought is this -- if you can't afford a reception, don't have one. I certainly wouldn't attend a reception where I had to pay for my own meal. Good grief -- what a world we are living in. Tacky does seem to be the appropriate word here, in my opinion.