Do You get along with - Page 6

proudlyfromNJ · ‎05-01-2010

@Anonymous032819 . Oh ok, I thought you mentioned assisted living. My parents were in that and had the very small kitchenette. Laundry done for them, assisting with bathing etc. Also had meals in the dining room.

There was also a section for patients needing much more care.

so sorry I asked as I didn’t think you were at the age for assisted living.

Anonymous032819 · ‎03-29-2019

@proudlyfromNJ wrote:
@Anonymous032819 . Oh ok, I thought you mentioned assisted living. My parents were in that and had the very small kitchenette. Laundry done for them, assisting with bathing etc. Also had meals in the dining room.
There was also a section for patients needing much more care.
so sorry I asked as I didn’t think you were at the age for assisted living.

@proudlyfromNJ

No, I'm not at that age now (I'm 48), but I wil be some day, and it never hurts to think about one's future, and to see what is out there, and to make plans.

Since I have never married, and I don't have any children, I have to think about my future, and my care.

The Sky looks different when you have someone you love up there.

deedledeedeedle · ‎05-27-2014

Not sure I understand the question, but being the oldest child in my family I can tell you that in adulthood I was extremely close with one sister, and the other sister not so much. They were twins (both deceased) and couldn't be any more different.

dee

Anonymous032819 · ‎03-29-2019

@deedledeedeedle wrote:
Not sure I understand the question, but being the oldest child in my family I can tell you that in adulthood I was extremely close with one sister, and the other sister not so much. They were twins (both deceased) and couldn't be any more different.

dee

@deedledeedeedle

The o/p is 81 and got in to an argument with her 61 year old son.

The Sky looks different when you have someone you love up there.

NicksmomESQ · ‎08-19-2014

Good children should want to help their parents.But parents should never take advantage of their adult children. They have their own families that they need to care for.

All that being said families through communication should be able to reach the right balance.You need to talk to each other. If you feel you need help with something it’s okay to ask but don’t demand.Chances are you will get help but you have to be patient.At the same time adult children ask their parents for help too.They ask them to babysit, pet sit etc.

Always remember to thank your kids when they do help you.In turn they should thank you for your help. Be close to them.Have a warm loving relationship with them irrespective of the help you give eachother.

RedTop · ‎09-01-2010

@halfpint1,

I know you and Bob would be lost without each other, but in the years since your husband passed, it’s been obvious your son had never given much thought to what happens when dad dies, and mom is left all alone, no family or friends available to help you, just him.

It always sounded like your husband took care of everything as long as he was able, and Bob wasn’t called on for help that much. He came around and visited often enough, all of you went out to eat occasionally, he saw that you and dad were doing okay, life was good. With dad gone, Bob has realized his role as son, has increased tremendously, and he wasn’t ready for the level of responsibility that has fallen on his shoulders.

I barely remember a time in my life when I wasn't taking care of someone in my family. I understood their needs from an early age, and just grew up with the responsibilities of helping out, and being there without having to be asked.

You and Bob will figure it out; he will be there when you need him, but at 61, I’m sure he’s had thoughts about who’s going to be there for him!

CrazyKittyLvr2 · ‎05-11-2013

I only ask my kids to do things I abolutely can't do. My son took over lawn duties after DH died. He comes when he can, usually every 7 to 10 days. He works out of the area most days and is on call a lot. Fine with me. They are both more than willing to help but I didn't have kids to take care of me. I hate asking anyone, family or not, for assistance.

My Mom, in her later years, wanted my sister to do everything immediately. She lived with DS and if the water. electric or gas bill came she called DS and wanted her to come home from work and pay the bill. Mom would have never done that in her younger years.

Mindy D · ‎05-23-2010

@halfpint1 wrote:
a older child

an adult child? Last night over the phone we had an awful argument.. I have only one-a son-61. I wanted to help me with putting flea stuff on my cat and then it went into other things. He lives about 4 blocks away and not married. He resents doing things for me. Don't know how to talk to him anymore.

/

Half pint, to answer your question, next time you call, try to stick to the topic you are calling about. If the call is about a need of yours, ask for the help, but qualify your plea by saying that if he can’t or does’t want to help that is fine with you and that you will understand. I’m sorry your cat needs treatment that you need help applying.

FrostyBabe1 · ‎05-09-2016

After my Dad passed away, Mom called me a lot. A LOT. Yeah, she reverted to parenting me and demanding to know where I was and what I was doing. It really wasn't her business, but it was while Dad had his brief, 4 month battle with cancer that we realized that Mom had cognitive problems. That, coupled with the grief of loosing your spouse of 54 years and suddenly being alone made life pretty tough for Mom.

I started doing something that I continued to do once we were able to find a spot in a fantastic care community for her (she wanted to go - she tried to sell the house and move while Dad was sick!). I made a weekly list, showing the days and times that I was going to be at her house, and the tasks we were going to accomplish. For example, on Monday I'd arrive at 2:00 PM and we'd strip her bed and put on fresh sheets. Then we'd do laundry. If I needed to leave by a certain time, I put that on the schedule. I hung it on the refrigerator every Sunday night. While Mom sometimes lost track of the day and time, it really cut down on the "you need to come over and do ________ right now" calls.

@halfpint1

Perhaps a schedule similar to this would be helpful to both you and your son. You can jot down things that you need help with and in consultation with him, you can add them to the schedule for whatever days/times he's able to assist you.

~The more someone needs to brag about how wonderful, special, successful, wealthy or important they are, the greater the likelihood that it isn't true. ~

lovesrecess · ‎03-14-2010

I have three daughters..,all are married and have children...two of my daughters I have great relationships with. One daughter I do not see or hear from but maybe once a year. She and her family live approx 8 miles from us but are busy with social life, seeing and being seen...I see photos of her and her husband in local magazines at various social events...but if I text her because I need information for something, which happens maybe twice a year, I get an auto response saying she can’t talk. She does not respond to texts or phone so I have withdrawn from attempting contact with her or her kids, who are in junior high. Breaks my heart, but my other two daughters are wonderful and have a similar relationship with their sister. She simply doesn’t want to be part of our family. You can’t have a relationship with someone unless they want it. I would tell OP to just wait for her son to initiate contact with her. I never want to be seen as a burden or a problem for anyone else....especially my own children. They are the last ones I would ask for anything.