Community Chat

[CalminHeart]

There is a lot that others don't know about divorced couples.  I'm glad you aren't judging your friends.  They need support.

In all the years since my divorce, I have told only 3 people what really happened. I didn't even tell my BFF of 40 years until many years after.   There are just so many things others don't know.

[moon_gazer]

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@fourpaws56 wrote:

@moon_gazer I am sorry you are going through this..I left my ex three years ago, best thing I ever did...off topic but how is your furbaby? I tried reaching out to you on the pet thread but never heard back..

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@fourpaws56

How very sweet of you to ask about my precious golden lab! He is doing good for now.He is his usual lovable, playful self. Aside from a slight cough, you would not even know that anything is wrong with him. Have him on pain meds and just finished a round of steriods that helped very much to shrink the swelling in his lymph node around his neck. Took him to vet on Friday and he said we will just continue to monitor and keep him pain free and comfortable for as long as we can. 

[Oostende]

I would certainly agree that not everyone is cut out to be married.  

I have an uncle who is too selfish to be married.  He wants to watch what he wants on television when he wants to watch it.  

He doesn't wish to be interrupted when he is reading.

He wants his glass to be where he put it, not in the sink, or washed and back in the cupboard.

Those are not terrible flaws, and no one likes being interrupted while reading, etc., but his irritation is overblown.  He's set in his ways, and as another poster said, he is unable to grow and change enough to accommodate another human being.

That's okay.  There's no law that says he has to.

Personally, I think marriage gets a bad rap.  It's neither a fairlytale, nor a chain around the neck.  It is a source of strenth and hope and warmth and love if you are fortunate enough to find yourself in a good one. 

But not everyone is cut out for it.  And that's okay.

[Shanus]

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@Its Me LuLuBelle2 wrote:
@Shanus, thank you for your kind words. I haven't thought of my ex in years. Looking back I think of that experience as one of those bumps in the road on our journey thru life. I learned I was tougher than I ever thought and everyone is not what they present themselve's to be. Two very valuable life lessons. I was also much wiser and took my time before marrying a second time. It's all good! Best, LuLu

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@Its Me LuLuBelle2  🌺

[fourpaws56]

thank you for the update, I was very concerned, glad he is comfortable, hugs xo

[moon_gazer]

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@JeanLouiseFinch wrote:

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@moon_gazer wrote:
I am about to end an almost 49 year marriage. If I had been smart, I would have walked out 20 years ago. My husband finally admitted that he doesn't love me, nor does he care much about me and hasn't for so many years he doesn't even remember when he stopped caring. I've wasted the best years of my life trying to figure out why I have been so depressed . He is going to have to find someone else to do the laundry, cooking, house cleaning, shopping, bill paying. My gosh, I even did our tax returns and he would never even ask if it had been done or not!

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@moon_gazer- I'm sorry to read this, sorry that you've been unhappy for so many years, and sorry for the hurt in hearing those words from your husband.  Even though you are obviously competent, starting over on your own at this age must be somewhat scary.  I wish you the best.

@JeanLouiseFinch

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Yes. Extremely scary at this age. I still think it is worth it, though, to spend the years I hopefully have left in a happier state of being. 

[Financialgrl]

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@Mominohio wrote:

Honestly I think it happens so much more now because women have options. They have educations, careers or jobs and the ability to financially take care of themselves.

In many previous generations, women stayed because they pretty much felt they had to. 

Also, I don't think that many people today really work hard at things. They might work hard at certain things, but many things in their lives are easy to give up on, like working at a marriage, because it is easier to do and there is less stigma now than in the past. 

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@Mominohio  I was about to post the same thing.