Community Chat

[itiswhatitis]

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@Moonchilde wrote:

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@itiswhatitis wrote:

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@Moonchilde wrote:

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@itiswhatitis wrote:

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@Moonchilde wrote:

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@Melania wrote:

Why do you require a label? Will it change anything? 

You have pretty much made up your mind. What more do you want?

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Validation? Attention?

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Some may consider me a lot of things but an attention seeker is not one.  I don't need validation from people I don't know either.  How would that work @Moonchilde?  On a forum with people I will never meet or lay eyes on? 

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Well, it wouldn't work for ME, I know that. But it very clearly does work for some people who post on these forums every day, day in and day out. I don't know their whys and wherefores, I just know that I (and others) see it, because I am not alone in feeling that some posters on these forums DO seek validation and attention. Others comment similarly about this in threads I haven't even participated in.

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I don't post on here every day.  Your response was directly related to why I used a "term" to describe someone. Inferring that I could be a poster who comes here every day to seek validation.  How about yourself?  How often are you here @Moonchilde?  Aren't you then, here as often as others to see that they need this validation you speak of?

SMH.

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It was not my intention, nor did I single you out (in fact, the reverse) as far as "inferring" you specifically were anything.  I said there are people who come here every day for validation. Following on, that would be a logical reason to think someone might be doing same - because it is seen. You had asked why would I think (you or anyone) was an attention-seeker. My response was, because they exist here, they're not rare or subtle.

Yes, I'm here every day - to say what I think about topics that interest me, not to seek validation or recognition. But yes, I do see that behavior in a few others, and I'm not the only poster who does. Seeing it does not mean I in turn must necessarily do it.

And FWIW, it's relatively rare for any thread-starter, no matter who it is (including me), to escape judgment of some kind. That's human nature. Do we like it when it's directed at us? Of course not. But it's part of the everyday of the forums.

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You did try to infer that "I" might need validation or attention.  All the rest is irrelevant.  I don't need a thesis.  I saw it for what it was.  Why can't you stand in your own truth?  You and I both know why you wrote what you wrote @Moonchilde.

Get over it already.

[Moonchilde]

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@itiswhatitis wrote:

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@Moonchilde wrote:

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@itiswhatitis wrote:

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@Moonchilde wrote:

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@itiswhatitis wrote:

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@Moonchilde wrote:

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@Melania wrote:

Why do you require a label? Will it change anything? 

You have pretty much made up your mind. What more do you want?

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Validation? Attention?

---

Some may consider me a lot of things but an attention seeker is not one.  I don't need validation from people I don't know either.  How would that work @Moonchilde?  On a forum with people I will never meet or lay eyes on? 

---

Well, it wouldn't work for ME, I know that. But it very clearly does work for some people who post on these forums every day, day in and day out. I don't know their whys and wherefores, I just know that I (and others) see it, because I am not alone in feeling that some posters on these forums DO seek validation and attention. Others comment similarly about this in threads I haven't even participated in.

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I don't post on here every day.  Your response was directly related to why I used a "term" to describe someone. Inferring that I could be a poster who comes here every day to seek validation.  How about yourself?  How often are you here @Moonchilde?  Aren't you then, here as often as others to see that they need this validation you speak of?

SMH.

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It was not my intention, nor did I single you out (in fact, the reverse) as far as "inferring" you specifically were anything.  I said there are people who come here every day for validation. Following on, that would be a logical reason to think someone might be doing same - because it is seen. You had asked why would I think (you or anyone) was an attention-seeker. My response was, because they exist here, they're not rare or subtle.

Yes, I'm here every day - to say what I think about topics that interest me, not to seek validation or recognition. But yes, I do see that behavior in a few others, and I'm not the only poster who does. Seeing it does not mean I in turn must necessarily do it.

And FWIW, it's relatively rare for any thread-starter, no matter who it is (including me), to escape judgment of some kind. That's human nature. Do we like it when it's directed at us? Of course not. But it's part of the everyday of the forums.

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You did try to infer that "I" might need validation or attention.  All the rest is irrelevant.  I don't need a thesis.  I saw it for what it was.  Why can't you stand in your own truth?  You and I both know why you wrote what you wrote @Moonchilde.

Get over it already.

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Yes, I wrote it because I thought it was entirely possible that it certainly *could* be true. You, however, insisted it wasn't - and have continued calling me out by name in post after post - but *I* need to "get over it"?

There has not been anything you've said for me to "get over." But carry on, do.

[itiswhatitis]

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@Moonchilde wrote:

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@itiswhatitis wrote:

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@Moonchilde wrote:

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@itiswhatitis wrote:

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@Moonchilde wrote:

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@itiswhatitis wrote:

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@Moonchilde wrote:

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@Melania wrote:

Why do you require a label? Will it change anything? 

You have pretty much made up your mind. What more do you want?

---

Validation? Attention?

---

Some may consider me a lot of things but an attention seeker is not one.  I don't need validation from people I don't know either.  How would that work @Moonchilde?  On a forum with people I will never meet or lay eyes on? 

---

Well, it wouldn't work for ME, I know that. But it very clearly does work for some people who post on these forums every day, day in and day out. I don't know their whys and wherefores, I just know that I (and others) see it, because I am not alone in feeling that some posters on these forums DO seek validation and attention. Others comment similarly about this in threads I haven't even participated in.

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I don't post on here every day.  Your response was directly related to why I used a "term" to describe someone. Inferring that I could be a poster who comes here every day to seek validation.  How about yourself?  How often are you here @Moonchilde?  Aren't you then, here as often as others to see that they need this validation you speak of?

SMH.

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It was not my intention, nor did I single you out (in fact, the reverse) as far as "inferring" you specifically were anything.  I said there are people who come here every day for validation. Following on, that would be a logical reason to think someone might be doing same - because it is seen. You had asked why would I think (you or anyone) was an attention-seeker. My response was, because they exist here, they're not rare or subtle.

Yes, I'm here every day - to say what I think about topics that interest me, not to seek validation or recognition. But yes, I do see that behavior in a few others, and I'm not the only poster who does. Seeing it does not mean I in turn must necessarily do it.

And FWIW, it's relatively rare for any thread-starter, no matter who it is (including me), to escape judgment of some kind. That's human nature. Do we like it when it's directed at us? Of course not. But it's part of the everyday of the forums.

---

You did try to infer that "I" might need validation or attention.  All the rest is irrelevant.  I don't need a thesis.  I saw it for what it was.  Why can't you stand in your own truth?  You and I both know why you wrote what you wrote @Moonchilde.

Get over it already.

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Yes, I wrote it because I thought it was entirely possible that it certainly *could* be true. You, however, insisted it wasn't - and have continued calling me out by name in post after post - but *I* need to "get over it"?

There has not been anything you've said for me to "get over." But carry on, do.

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[Cakers3]

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@itiswhatitis wrote:

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@Cakers3 wrote:

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@itiswhatitis wrote:

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@Cakers3 wrote:

@itiswhatitis  I'm not sure what you are looking for.  You already determined that this person has all the negative qualities you listed.  Whether one needs to refer to her as a narcissist is not relevant.

It's a toxic situation and since you are trying to remove yourself from her company then there really isn't much else to do-unless you want to show her that list.

I find that diagnosing another individual without credentials is only what you see and you may not necessarily be right regarding all those negative qualities.

Only you can keep your distance; eventually she will move on to somebody who can supply what she needs.

 I have some knowledge, though I don't consider myself credentialed.  I am not.  They are observations I've made concerning her behavior when in my presence.  I don't need someone to agree that she is a narcissist (my opinion) @Cakers3.

As for her keeping her distance (she has not).  That's part of the problem.  It's like a game to her, almost (imo).  I've tried the diplomatic approach, but maybe telling her straight out I don't like her and tell her why would be a good idea too.

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@itiswhatitis I'm sorry I didn't mean to imply that you have no idea what you were saying.  I simply don't care for labels. 

It's all good.

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Yes it is all good @Cakers3.  You label people just like I do.  You just won't admit it.  We all do it.  It's part of being human.

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@itiswhatitis  Whoa-hold on a minute here.  I'm referring to psychology labels.

I was being polite.  And quite frankly what I would or would not admit to is my determination, not yours.

And no, I would never label a person's mental health condition here. 

[itiswhatitis]

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@Cakers3 wrote:

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@itiswhatitis wrote:

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@Cakers3 wrote:

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@itiswhatitis wrote:

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@Cakers3 wrote:

@itiswhatitis  I'm not sure what you are looking for.  You already determined that this person has all the negative qualities you listed.  Whether one needs to refer to her as a narcissist is not relevant.

It's a toxic situation and since you are trying to remove yourself from her company then there really isn't much else to do-unless you want to show her that list.

I find that diagnosing another individual without credentials is only what you see and you may not necessarily be right regarding all those negative qualities.

Only you can keep your distance; eventually she will move on to somebody who can supply what she needs.

 I have some knowledge, though I don't consider myself credentialed.  I am not.  They are observations I've made concerning her behavior when in my presence.  I don't need someone to agree that she is a narcissist (my opinion) @Cakers3.

As for her keeping her distance (she has not).  That's part of the problem.  It's like a game to her, almost (imo).  I've tried the diplomatic approach, but maybe telling her straight out I don't like her and tell her why would be a good idea too.

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@itiswhatitis I'm sorry I didn't mean to imply that you have no idea what you were saying.  I simply don't care for labels. 

It's all good.

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Yes it is all good @Cakers3.  You label people just like I do.  You just won't admit it.  We all do it.  It's part of being human.

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@itiswhatitis  Whoa-hold on a minute here.  I'm referring to psychology labels.

I was being polite.  And quite frankly what I would or would not admit to is my determination, not yours.

And no, I would never label a person's mental health condition here. 

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@Cakers3 Welp, I was not trying to diagnose her.  I was trying to find a term to explain what I experience with her.  Narcissim is a widely used term to describe someone with the traits I listed above.  I'm not a physician so I wasn't trying to diagnose her.  And yes you do judge people without really considering you do.  We all do this.  Yes, we all do this.

You've never referred to someone as difficult, greedy, selfish, hard headed, stubborn, strange, pretty, ugly, off their rocker?  We all have adjectives we use to describe one another.  When we use them we are judging a set of character traits that fit those terms.