Community Chat

[Ibby114]

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@conlt wrote:

I would never go to this wedding. Covid stays in the air, people will be dancing breathing hard. I guess it is the RN in me that says "no". In my opinion this wedding is risky. Right, now, not counting patients, I know of 20 people who have Covid right now. Some friends, coworkers and extended family. 

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@conlt  it's the common sense in me that would say "no way"!!

[reviewer from sc]

I think it's your own personal decision. If you're not comfortable going, then politely decline--maybe send a nice gift to their new home with a note of congrats. On the other side, I think it's also a person's free choice to hold a wedding. I would invite the guests that I want there, and I would perfectly understand if some of the guests said they don't feel comfortable attending. If some don't mind coming, that's great. If they want to come with a mask on, that's great, as well. Bottom line--it's a free country. Just know the facts and do what is comfortable. 

[DonLR]

I live in the world of "what if".  What if you went and became infected and didn't know it and spread it to loved ones or co-workers and one of them or their family died? I don't want to be responsible for basically killing someone.  Following your gut won't ever let you down and it seems like you did that when you declined the invite.

[Ibby114]

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@gidgetgh wrote:

Ok, I'm in a blunt mood tonight and haven't read the other responses yet.

I think it is unconscionable that they are holding a potential super spreader event in the middle of a raging pandemic.  I have massive amounts of disdain for that.  Zero respect.   None.

I would have absolutely no guilt at all in saying he.. to the no, I'm not going.  Easiest decision I'd make all year.  

ICU's at or near capacity, overworked medical personnel, but hey none of that matters.  The wedding does.  I could go further, but I'll stop.

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@gidgetgh I know, half the replies I was 'thinking of' posting would get this thread poofed so fast!   "...do what you're comfortable with..." ?? - that's half the problem with the spread! 

[Cakers3]

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@happycat wrote:

I feel bad. A relative is getting married this weekend, we were invited. If it weren't for covid, I'd be there. There were 100 people invited to the wedding.

I told the mom of the groom, that we just weren't comfortable going, that I felt like it would be like playing russian roulette. That I would feel like a heel if I didn't go, but be irritated if I did go and got sick.

First time I have missed a family function, and now I'm second guessing my decicion. I know I made the right decision for my dh and myself though.

Has anyone else run into this? Now I feel like people are mad at me. The bridal couple are very sweet and I think the world of them, but I don't think they are taking covid seriously. 

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@happycat   You already have your answer and it would be healthier for you to stop second-guessing yourself.

It doesn't matter if you feel people are mad at you because even if they are, they'll get over it.

This wedding isn't about you; you did what was best for you (and I totally agree with your decision) so send whatever gift you had planned to give, offer congratulations without a sermon as to why you are not there, and let it be.

[ECBG]

You did the right thing, plus, you didn't pass anything since we don't know.

That's the hardest thing.  We don't know!!!

[QVCkitty1]

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@CrazyDaisy wrote:

Have been NUMEROUS discussions on this topic.  If uncomfortable just decline and move on.  People understand, no need to criticize others for their choice.

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In the OP's situation, .I wouldn't criticize if they accepted my refusal graciously. However if anyone laid a guilt trip on me, they would hear about it. 

[Hippiified]

@happycat 

No one should be having a wedding at this time.  You did the right thing.  Stay home and protect yourself and wear a mask.

[on the bay]

@happycat -

I think you definitely made the right decision!

You would be a lot more than irritated if you got this virus.

And no, they aren't being safe right now or keeping loved ones safe.

To help you not second guess yourself, recall that wedding not too long ago in Maine, in August, with now almost 200 people with covd and 7 dying from the virus from that wedding.

It has been called the superspreader wedding. Terrifying. Not something to fool around with at all. Send them a lovely present or check and card instead, and keep safe and alive. 

[Tinkerbell3]

WOW, WOW, WOW.... How incredibly irresponsible, foolish, and careless!!! These people are the problem. This is why this country is in the position that it is. NO ONE should be having a wedding with 100 guests.

NO... I have not come across this type of situation because my family and friends are being extremely careful and living in bubbles!