Declining a wedding

happycat · ‎09-18-2010

I feel bad. A relative is getting married this weekend, we were invited. If it weren't for covid, I'd be there. There were 100 people invited to the wedding.

I told the mom of the groom, that we just weren't comfortable going, that I felt like it would be like playing russian roulette. That I would feel like a heel if I didn't go, but be irritated if I did go and got sick.

First time I have missed a family function, and now I'm second guessing my decicion. I know I made the right decision for my dh and myself though.

Has anyone else run into this? Now I feel like people are mad at me. The bridal couple are very sweet and I think the world of them, but I don't think they are taking covid seriously.

jlkz · ‎12-02-2013

@happycat

I am glad YOU are taking the virus seriously. Isn't that what matters: that you will be around to care for those around you as well as celebrate the wedding with the newlyweds after they are married and the pandemic is over.

If folks can not understand that, then I wonder if they truly value you.

Stop second guessing: you did the right thing. Maybe they shouldn't have put over 90 folks at risk !!!

We make a living by what we get. We make a life by what we give.
Sir Winston Churchill

CrazyDaisy · ‎03-20-2010

Have been NUMEROUS discussions on this topic. If uncomfortable just decline and move on. People understand, no need to criticize others for their choice.

Someday, when scientists discover the center of the Universe....some people will be disappointed it is not them.

kaydee50 · ‎02-07-2011

You did the right thing. I wonder how many of the 100 that were invited will actually show up. There will be other family functions.

mspatmac · ‎06-10-2015

@happycat For what it's worth I think you made the right decision. I am spending Christmas alone for the first time ever but I'm not comfortable driving to DD and family as they are a young family that are out and about because of work and kids are in school. I am high risk and want to be around for next Christmas. I'll be with them virtually, watching them open gifts etc.

Love my grandkids · ‎11-24-2013

@happycat I would rather deal with people being "mad" at me than to be making funeral arrangements for a loved one, or have them being made for me.

I think people are idiots to expect lots of people who attend and I think the same of those who do.

In WA state there is a strict mandate about this kind of thing and it is being enforced.

KaySD · ‎08-16-2016

@happycat This must be so difficult for you. Yes, I've had to make decisions like this and so,have most of the people I know.

I feel quite sure you made the best decision for yourself--no need to doubt yourslf. I'm not saying others are wrong to go, but I agree with you that if they are having a large wedding right now, they definitely aren't taking covid seriously. It will be no surprise if people get sick--more of a surprise if they don't.

Doing what hat is right for you is the best choice you can make!

nana59 · ‎05-12-2012

what state...may i ask...is allowing a crowd of 100 people......

bluetail fly · ‎12-26-2011

Stop second guessing yourself. Send a card or gift, and see them in person when we get through this pandemic.

Lisa now in AZ · ‎03-11-2010

I am going to be the official greeter at a friend's wedding next weekend. There were originally going to be 40 people, but now it is 60. The tables will be socially distanced and assigned to family groups. Since I am not a family member, I will probably sit by myself, but that's fine. Masks are required for the wedding and reception. There are even assigned seats for the ceremony.

There will be about an hour of dancing, but I will just sit and watch, since I don't like to exercise with a mask and I would worry that people will be too close. She has already had people decline and she totally understands.

I wll be so happy when our lives get closer to normal and we don't have to weigh every decision we make.