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Trusted Contributor
Posts: 1,945
Registered: ‎10-23-2011

@On It   I declined MANY invitations when I was working, especially during this time of the year.

 

All I said was:  "I made other plans but thanks for thinking of me."

 

One of the greatest joys of retirement is that I don't have to go through that "drill" each and every year.

Respected Contributor
Posts: 4,046
Registered: ‎11-20-2010

As I grow older I get less invitations to lunches and other social events.  I love going out to lunch and would accept most invitations and would have accepted most for lunch in my younger years too

 

I have gone to many events that I felt I should but really didn't want to (such as the shower you mentioned) and still do except as I said they are fewer now but that is OK as I don't always feel well enough.

 

I was always a social person but age has slowed my desire to go out down.  I am going to a get together today, but would rather stay home as it is cold, but this is for a relative so out I will go.

 

I am retired now and can't believe I am staying home on weekends.  Used to be I would always be going somewhere out and about on Saturdays and Sundays.  I spend more time at home now than I ever thought I would want to.

 

I would probably have accepted your neighbor's invitation for lunch but would not feel guilty if I didn't go either.  You are definitely NOT a terrible person just because you had something you wanted to do other than lunch with a neighbor and her friend.  She did have someone else to go with so you were not depriving her of an opportunity to go out to lunch.

Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 6,222
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

Of course not.  When we are young, we sometime don't know ourselves or maybe do, but feel we have to please everyone.

You need to please yourself first, then you can feel like pleasing others.  

Do not feel bad, you are taking care of you.  

You stated in right, you like the person and are friendly, but not something you want to do.  You are not being mean, just caring for your feelings and that is not selfish.

Enjoy your time.

Honored Contributor
Posts: 12,913
Registered: ‎07-09-2010

keep it simple - no

 

i decline to be a bride's maid for 2 people when I was much younger

i said no to that - i wasn't that close to them 

people might think that was terrible - 

Honored Contributor
Posts: 12,219
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

Since this person had plans to meet someone else for lunch, declining was the right thing for the OP to do. Often invitations are given without thought, and sometimes out of obligation. In this case, the neighbor should not have invited the OP without checking with the person she was having lunch. To show up with an add on would be improper.

Honored Contributor
Posts: 36,947
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

It's lunch.  Nothing to overthink!  Woman Wink

Honored Contributor
Posts: 16,849
Registered: ‎09-01-2010

I just firmly say no.  By now everyone knows I'm not interested in socializing.

Valued Contributor
Posts: 911
Registered: ‎08-15-2022

@RedTop wrote:

I just firmly say no.  By now everyone knows I'm not interested in socializing.


@RedTop ..........many, many years ago I realized that I owe NO ONE an explanation 

for my behavior. It is either yes or no with nothing in between.

 

Respected Contributor
Posts: 2,296
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

It is not rude and it doesn't make you a bad person either. The great thing about being and adult is that we are in charge of our own lives. We don't owe anyone an explanation for the decisions we make. Just politely say " I appreciate the invitation but I won't be able to make it." Don't try to justify or give any reason just let it go at that.

Super Contributor
Posts: 474
Registered: ‎11-17-2012

I accept invitations. I think it's wonderful if someone wants my company! Joyful!