Declining Invitations - Page 3

justashopper · ‎03-21-2010

So true... thanks!

Puppy Lips · ‎05-09-2010

Years and years ago, I did not go to a bridal shower for my soon to be sister in law. I really did not know her. I was working full time, had little kids, and it was on a Sunday afternoon. I really wanted my day at home. Does anyone really enjoy those showers? I know I sure don't. Anyway, I didn't go, and my husband sure "heard about it" from his mother, lol. Sometimes you just do things because you have to.

But that is not the case for the OP. If you don't enjoy the company, then don't go. But, maybe this time would be different and you would have a good time. Good luck with your decision.

Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else. Margaret Mead

twinsister · ‎03-12-2010

I think "No thank you" is sufficient. I used to feel guilty when declining invitations and always thought I had to provide an explanation of why I wasn't attending. Not anymore, maybe because I'm older, but if I don't want to go, I decline politely without any explanation.

jlkz · ‎12-02-2013

@justashopper

No you are not a terrible person....you know what is important to you and you act on it. Knowing how to keep communication lines open is a valuable asset in these situations.

just remember how you would want to be treated when the other person has to decline an invite. Simple as that.

We make a living by what we get. We make a life by what we give.
Sir Winston Churchill

faeriemoon · ‎03-14-2010

I don't think you're a terrible person at all. Just decline.

I no longer go to things I don't want to go to. When you think about it, it's not just the event you have to endure ; it's also the dread leading up to it that will consume your thoughts until the lunch outing is over with.

~What a terrible era in which idiots govern the blind.~ William Shakespeare

SloopJohnB · ‎04-25-2020

@justashopper wrote:
Hi
I am looking for some opinions. Do you think it's wrong to decline an invitation to lunch, if you just don't really enjoy the company? It's not that I don't like the person (a neighbor) and I do like being friendly... but I'd rather not socialize like that.

Do you accept all invitations? Just because they asked? What if it's not how you want to spend your day off?

I am trying to decide if I am a terrible person.. LOL. thanks.

@justashopper No you are not a terrible person no matter what you decide. I apparently am the lone wolf here, but I would go. Speaking for myself, unless my social calendar is that full, I never turn down an invite. I like to socialize and have a nice meal with others. Worst case scenario you wasted an hour or two of your day.

I like to invite others and have them invite me. I always remember that sometimes people don't get invited to things so I prefer to be on the plus column. Especially during the holiday season. But ultimately do what makes you feel comfortable.

I would give everything I own just to have you back again.......David Gates of Bread

ThinkingOutLoud · ‎05-01-2020

haven't read the replies

I can see both sides of this. There are times I don't feel social or want to go out

BUT

Not everything is about you (generic). It may have taken the person a lot to even ask and *they* might need the outing. Spending a little time won't be the end of the world for you but might mean the world to them.

Sooner · ‎03-10-2010

@ThinkingOutLoud wrote:
haven't read the replies

I can see both sides of this. There are times I don't feel social or want to go out

BUT

Not everything is about you (generic). It may have taken the person a lot to even ask and *they* might need the outing. Spending a little time won't be the end of the world for you but might mean the world to them.

@ThinkingOutLoud If you take that attitude, you'll always be at the mercy of other people. I say this from having been there done that and if I had to do it over I would not assume so much about others. Others usually don't care what you do I have found out.

I lived my life going always out of my way and discovered it really didn't matter just because I thought it might. But maybe that's just my experience. Not saying you aren't right--just not to me (if that makes any sense at all!).

hckynutjohn · ‎06-15-2015

@justashopper

Me except invitations? Very few, and certainly not from any one of our few neighbors. Passing friends is the extent of most of our neighbors. When walking our dog, there are a couple I talk with, if they are by our road, during our walk.

We live in a secluded area where all neighbors have at least 1 acre of property, most much larger. Thus very few neighbors. Were they to ask my wife? That would be her decision, but me? A "no thank you" and that would be it.

Never understood why so many can't just say "no thank you" and leave it at that. Nobody owes a neighbor or acquaintance an explanation, just "no"! Maybe it's a gender thing, that I don't get. Having to give an explanation for a "no thank you"!!!!

Said in too many posts that "what others think of me"? I have never really cared, or care.

hckynut 🇺🇸

hckynut(john)

haddon9 · ‎03-09-2010

I don't think it's terrible to decline a lunch invite. Look at it from the other person's point of view too....maybe they are looking to make a new friend and if you're not interested why lead them on?

I'm retired and have more time now. I decided to take an art class since I wanted to meet new people. I still get together with old friends but it's nice to get out there and make some new friends so I decided to sign up for an art class last January. I have been taking it all year and have become friendly with some women.

I suggested getting together for lunch with one woman in particular but said if she couldn't, I understood....leaving it open. It worked out and we did do lunch a few times. I would have rather that she said she was too busy if she really didn't want to meet.