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Respected Contributor
Posts: 2,399
Registered: ‎09-02-2022

Re: Declining Invitations

[ Edited ]

@justashopper 

 

It's really kind of you to consider this invitee's feelings.

  having said that tho

 

     IMHO, It's *kinder to yrself,* to not accept an invite that you're not interested in. 

 

    Personally, I wouldnt offer any "fib" or "white lie" to the invitee as to why you decline the invite, (even if the "decline" is followed by the absence of any excuse).  This is easy to do without being rude, (even if it requires practice).

 

IMHO "fibbing" or "white lying" abt ourselves, hinders the development our "authentic self."

 

Picking & choosing just who, we share our developing, precious "authentic selves" with, is absolutely the most incredible, best gift we can give with those we love, appreciate, & with those who truly appreciate us.

 

(Long answer to a simple question)

 

Best of luck @justashopper    Woman Happy

 

 

Honored Contributor
Posts: 9,349
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

I would just say I've got a lot going on right now and leave it at that.

 

Don't say you'll take a rain check, she may hold you to it.

Honored Contributor
Posts: 8,945
Registered: ‎07-11-2010

@justashopper wrote:

Hi

I am looking for some opinions.  Do you think it's wrong to decline an invitation to lunch, if you just don't really enjoy the company?  It's not that I don't like the person (a neighbor) and I do like being friendly... but I'd rather not socialize like that. 

 

Do you accept all invitations?  Just because they asked? What if it's not how you want to spend your day off?

 

I am trying to decide if I am a terrible person.. LOL.  thanks.  


@justashopper - a polite "no, thank you." is fine.  Don't need a reason "no thank you" should be enough.

Honored Contributor
Posts: 18,434
Registered: ‎04-28-2010

I've been avoiding crowds (restaurants, etc.) lately, and I've declined several offers for lunches and dinners and get-togethers.

 

Mainly because the folks I know who did attend ended up with Covid. and  flu/ colds/ coughs, etc., etc. 

 

Better (for me) to decline. 

 

I'm a follower of following my intuition.  

'More or less', 'Right or wrong', 'In general', and 'Just thinking out loud ' (as usual).
Honored Contributor
Posts: 12,514
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: Declining Invitations

[ Edited ]

@justashopper 

 

I never feel bad declining invites with those I don't particularly care for.  When I get a rare invitation to enjoy a gathering I want to enjoy both the company & food🙂

 

PS: If that's being a terrible person then I'm that person...lol

NO you're just being sensible.

Honored Contributor
Posts: 22,084
Registered: ‎10-03-2011

Turning down an invitation doesn't make you a terrible person, You get to decide how you want to spend your time.  You also owe no one an explanation. Be kind with your reply and say, "I'm sorry, I'm unable to make it."  If the other party tries pressing you for a reason, just repeat yourself. You aren't obligated to justify your choices and the neighbor should be able to take a hint.  
 

Honored Contributor
Posts: 32,674
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

Some of us have pretty much had it with people--family, "friends", and others.  Some of us are tired of dealing with people and some are simply worn out of chatting and being pleasant most of the time.

 

Whether it's family issues, social overload, fear of Covid, or simply personality all are valid issues and reasons and nothing to feel bad about your self because of.  Going to lunch or a party or a wedding etc. isn't a requirement or a sign of being a good human.

 

You just don't feel like socializing at the time.  

Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 7,776
Registered: ‎02-13-2021

@justashopper wrote:

Hi

I am looking for some opinions.  Do you think it's wrong to decline an invitation to lunch, if you just don't really enjoy the company?  It's not that I don't like the person (a neighbor) and I do like being friendly... but I'd rather not socialize like that. 

 

Do you accept all invitations?  Just because they asked? What if it's not how you want to spend your day off?

 

I am trying to decide if I am a terrible person.. LOL.  thanks.  


@justashopper I don't people please.  If I feel like I don't want to go, I decline and say I have a prior commitment.  You don't have to do anything you don't want.  Don't feel Obligated.





A Negative Mind ~ Will give you a Negative Life
Trusted Contributor
Posts: 1,977
Registered: ‎03-21-2010

Hi @jlkz 

 

GREAT POINT.  Thanks!

Trusted Contributor
Posts: 1,977
Registered: ‎03-21-2010

@Puppy Lips I bet!!  I have definitely, HAD to GO to some things in my life.  Or felt the wrath.  LOL